The Babble List: 18 Most Outrageous Toy Commercial Claims
Barbie makes ice cream! Laser tag guns shoot photons! And other lies.
by Cole Gamble
June 22, 2009
#12 | Manglors (1983)
"You stretch them, squash them, pull them apart and they'll go right back to normal!" Nope, if you ripped the arm off your Manglor, it didn't reattach like shown in the commercial. And now you're wanted for Manglor murder.
#11 | Ghostbusters (1987)
This spot demonstrates one of the most prominent lies in toy commercials: awesome environments that you don't get with the toy. Watch those Ghostbusters battle it out in a scaled-down New York! On a similar note, check out the crazy interstellar landscape the Silverhawks zip through in this spot. What the advertisers don't want you to know is outside of these impeccably designed sets, their toys look pretty lame.
#10 | Pogo Ball (1987)
With four maximum inches of bounce, The Pogo Ball (skip to 2:35, above) will not give you the ability to dunk like Shaq, unless you already are Shaq. In which case, please get off the Pogo Ball, Shaq.
#9 | Pokémon (1998)
Stuffing small creatures in your pants is not actually a good idea.
#8 | Army Ants (1987)
Army Ants do not move independently. They do not mock each other. They do not fire live rounds. And they do not sing their own jingle. They do, however, melt in cool ways after you realize there's nothing else fun to do with them.
#7 | Nerf Mad Hornet (1997)
Supposedly, you could actually hurt other kids with the sheer velocity of this gun's little nerf darts. A troubling selling point, but fortunately a lie. I mean, c'mon, you couldn't hurt somebody with a nerf dart if you launched it from a particle accelerator.
About the Author
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Cole Gamble is a writer living in Portland, Oregon. He's working on an evil self-help guide titled Improve Your Life or Die.
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