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5. Great Space Coaster

PBS, 1981-1986

The Great Space Coaster was another "let's all be friends" endeavor, but it featured more of a variety show format. They would occasionally show clips from La Linea, an Italian animation series. What I remember is Gary Gnu, who hosted the Gnus of the Week. Gary, rebel that he was, would add a "g" to seemingly every word. The Great Space Coaster also featured celebrity guests such as Mark Hamill (that's Luke Skywalker, kids). Fun fact: Gary Gnu is mentioned in a rap song by Blackalicious.

4. Vegetable Soup

PBS, 1975-1978

The person who posted the intro to YouTube put it best: "This is either the intro to the 70's era children's PBS program 'Vegetable Soup', or it's the first thing Jerry Falwell saw the moment he arrived in Hell." This might be the weirdest children's show ever. EVER. Just the title of the bizarre puppet segment – "Outerscope 1, Trail is Discovered" – should have been enough to make parents scream "WHAT?" According to the producers at the New York State Education Department, "the goal of Vegetable Soup, a television series for children, is to help counter the negative, destructive effects of racial prejudice and racial isolation and to reinforce and dramatize the positive, life enhancing value of human diversity in entertaining and affective presentations that children can understand and relate to." Well, everyone at the Department of Ed must have been ingesting large quantities of illegal substances because I defy anyone to understand what the hell "Outerscope" was all about. "It takes all kinds of vegetables / To make a Vegetable Soup", but I think it took an enormous amount of LSD to make this program. Should be released on DVD as a warning against the dangers of hallucinogens.

3. Whatever Turns You On / You Can't Do That on Television

CTV (Canadian Television); Nickelodeon (some episodes banned), 1979-1990

Until I did a little research, I remembered You Can't Do That On Television strictly for its use of "slime" (goo that was dumped onto the heads of unsuspecting participants). Then I saw that the title of the show was originally Whatever Turns You On, and a light bulb went off. At times, this program could be kind of daring, and some episodes were banned in the United States after airing in Canada. You Can't Do That . . . was kind of a kiddie-SNL, with sketches featuring both kids and adults. One had a teacher showing his class a pornographic film; that one never made it onto U.S. airwaves. In the "Divorce" sketch (above), a mother enters her children's room and announces that she and her husband are getting a divorce. The kids are actually very pleased, and then the mother proceeds to demand everything in the divorce settlement, including THE SLIME. That one aired only once before it was pulled. A complete DVD set, with the banned/deleted sketches, would be most welcome.

2. Sesame Street

PBS, 1969-present

Now I know what you're saying (because, you know, I'm psychic.) Sesame Street is available on DVD. I have a bunch of them at home and the entire family loves them. Ah, yes. BUT! Wouldn't it be great to have complete seasons available to watch, in order, so you could see how the show developed over time? Characters that time (and the Old School box sets) forgot, like Roosevelt Franklin. Heck, just to see the show before Elmo took over the whole damn thing. The current episodes are great, but a box set of, say, the first five years? That's a sunny day.

1. Mister Rogers' Neighborhood

PBS, 1968-2001

Again, I know what you're thinking. And yes, there are various DVDs out there containing Fred Rogers putting his sweater on and off, changing his shoes, and doing his thing in The Land of Make-Believe. But I want to start from the beginning and see how it all ends. Unlike Sesame Street, Mister Rogers' Neighborhood does have an ending, and a sad one. Being able to watch the first episode ever, and eventually seeing Fred's heartfelt sign-off, would make it a beautiful day in my neighborhood.

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