The 33 Worst Celebrity Baby Names
Cautionary tales, from Audio Science to Zuma Nesta Rock.
by Catherine Connors
September 23, 2008
1. Tu Morrow (Rob Morrow)
You just know that this name came up during a drunken pre-conception conversation. The tragedy is, they never thought of a better one. We just hope the kid likes that song from Annie, because people will be serenading her with it forever.
2. Zuma Nesta Rock (Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale)
Sure, "Zuma" is the name of a beach in a Malibu. That's lovely. But it's also a computer game. And the diminutive form of a term for a bad gastrointestinal condition. And, for anyone who remembers the '90s, a much-mocked malt beverage. No, wait: that was Zima.
Gwen Stefani with Zuma Nesta Rock.
3. Moxie CrimeFighter (Penn Jillette)
Job descriptions just don't work as proper names. And what are odds that she'll actually grow up to be a crimefighter? Slim.
4. Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee)
Speaking of job descriptions — Pilot Inspektor isn't even a real job. Neither is Pilot Inspector, for that matter. Plane Inspector is a real job, but that's like two steps above DMV worker in the glamour department.
5. Kal-El (Nicolas Cage)
Do celebrities actually think their children have superpowers? Sometimes we wonder.
6. Bogart Che Peyote (Reality star David "Puck" Rainey)
Using the names of revolutionaries and drugs in your kid's name is one thing. Using the common term for slobbering all over that joint you won't share is quite another.
Jason Lee with Pilot Inspektor.
7-9. Fifi Trixibell, Peaches and Pixie (Bob Geldof and Paula Yates)
Didn't Paris Hilton use these names for her little dogs?
10. Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon)
Sounds like it would have been a really cool class to take in college. As a name, though . . .
11. Princess Tiaamii (Katie "Jordan" Price)
Someday this little girl will realize she is not in fact a princess, and all the extra vowels in the world won't be able to cushion the blow.
12. Prince Michael II / "Blanket" (Michael Jackson)
See above. Luckily, MJ atoned for his choice of moniker by nicknaming the kid "Blanket," a name no one could ever possibly find fault with.
©2008 Babble
About the Author
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Catherine Connors aka Her Bad Mother is a writer and mother in Toronto, Canada. She can usually be found blogging at Her Bad Mother, where she tries to convince herself and anyone who will listen that Bad is, in fact, the new Good |
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