Campbell Brown
"It can be tough when you've got two under two."
by Amy Reiter
July 2, 2009
Before you got married, you converted to Judaism. How do you feel about raising your children in a different religion than you grew up in?
I grew up Catholic, but my immediate family was not really religious. I wanted to give my children religion. I wanted them to have that grounding, and I wanted help in terms of teaching my children morality. I didn't want to have to figure this out on my own. It's too big and too important. I think the Jewish traditions are beautiful. I'm very lucky in that it was a decision that both of our families supported. We are learning as a family and devising our traditions because, as you say, our backgrounds are so diverse. I grew up in Louisiana. My husband grew up in the Northeast. So you have to be flexible and open to hearing other perspectives. It's a learning process not only for my kids but also for me. And it's one that so far I can honestly say I've enjoyed every minute of.
You've mentioned in previous interviews these culture-clash moments — I'm thinking of when you brought your husband for Thanksgiving for the first time to your grandmother's house and she had nothing but shellfish and pork on the menu. Is that still happening?
Not only have I been educated, but so has my family. Believe me, they no longer offer Dan shellfish and pork for every meal, but they're from Louisiana, so shellfish was our diet. Our families are so good-spirited and very curious to learn about the different worlds. For the last few Thanksgivings both my family and his family have come to our place and they've become close friends. Not too long ago his cousins went to visit my family unbeknownst to us. These are his Jewish cousins from Toronto going to see my Catholic cousins from Louisiana. It's so wonderful that they have developed these friendships that aren't just about Dan and me.
Your husband is a Republican consultant and "no bias" is really important for you in your work. How do the politics play out at home?
There's so much diversity of opinion around our dinner table it's not even funny. I have always approached the issues as a journalist. It's my nature. It's who I am. It's what I do. And it's never really been an issue. And my husband is not as involved in a partisan way as he was. He's now a fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations.
"I just treasure that time, at four a.m."
He's been working on a book about Israel. He's not as involved in the political world. It just doesn't dominate our lives. In all honestly, when you have children, they tend to become the focus of conversation more than anything else.
What's been the very best part of being a mother for you, and what have you found to be the greatest challenges?
The best thing about being a mother are those moments that are just you one-on-one with your little ones. Eli, my toddler, was pitching a fit the other day because I wouldn't give him a snack food, some brownie or something that he saw in the pantry. He was throwing himself on the floor, screaming, yelling, and I was just — ugh! — at my wit's end. I finally plopped down on the couch and took a deep breath. And he just stopped crying, came over, put his arms around me, and gave me a kiss on the cheek and a big hug — for no reason, after pitching this horrible, horrible fit. And I thought, God, this is heaven.
My newborn, Asher, wakes up usually around 4:15 a.m., and my husband is like, "Oh, that's so awful that you're still getting up at 4:15 with the baby." He doesn't really understand that that is my most precious twenty minutes, because it's just our moment together. It's quiet. No one else is awake. And it is heaven. The older one does get jealous, so it's really the only time that I can give complete and total attention to Asher. And I just treasure that time, at four a.m. Those little moments are what's wonderful about motherhood.
Wow, you may be the only person in the history of motherhood who has waxed poetic about the 4:15 a.m. wakeup call.
I'm lucky that he's only getting up once a night. If it were twice a night, I probably wouldn't be waxing poetic about it.
What have you learned since becoming a mother that you wish someone had told you at the outset?
Have a sense of humor. Because no matter how organized you are, no matter how much you plan, no matter how much you think you've got it all figured out, it's never going to go like you want it to go all the time. Often things are going to blow up in your face and your kids are going to look at you and say, "Really? You think I'm going to do what you want me to do?" You've just got to have a sense of humor about it. Otherwise, you'll drive yourself crazy.
©2009 Amy Reiter and Babble
About the Author
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Amy Reiter has written for Glamour, Marie Claire, The New York Times Book Review, The Washington Post, Time Out New York Kids and Wine Spectator, among other publications, as well as the anthology "Maybe
Baby." A former editor at Salon, she lives in Brooklyn with her husband and two children. |
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