One of the loveliest parts about having twins is watching the relationship between them develop. When I was pregnant, lots of parents of twins mentioned this by way of encouragement / consolation: yes, it's really hard, but it's so amazing when they start really interacting. And it's a great, great thing when they can start keeping each other entertained, so you don't have to all the time.
True, true, true. But it takes a while. For the first several months of their lives, Elsa and Clio were pretty much oblivious to each other. This is understandable, I guess; If I'd spent nine months crammed in with another person in a space the size of a small watermelon, I'd want a little space, too.
Once they could sit up and crawl, they started to do things like take toys, bottles and pacifiers away from each other -- generally without incident. (Hm. I had a block, now I don't. Whaddya know about that?) When they became bipedal, they began having the occasional playful wrestling match, which would start with giggling and inevitably end with tears. (Usually from Clio, who Elsa has a habit of "loving" a bit roughly at times.) Hitting, pushing and hair pulling, both innocent and with intent to harm, followed. As I wrote in a recent post, refereeing between the two of them has become an increasingly large part of my role as a parent.
At the same time, I've had the pleasure of watching a real affection and sense of awareness develop between the girls. It seems like the change has accelerated over the past few months, ever since they learned to say each other's names. Now, they are always aware of where the other is -- or isn't -- at any given time. If, for example, Clio is awake and Elsa is still napping and I take Clio out of the nursery, she'll ask "Sessa?" expecting that, as usual, where she goes, Elsa will go, too. I'll tell her that Elsa is still sleeping, and Clio will confirm, with a nod, "Sessa nigh nigh." She'll usually remind me -- and herself? -- of this fact again in a few minutes. And when it's time to go wake Elsa up, Clio will happily climb up the stairs calling "Sessa! Sessa!"
And for all the bickering they do, they are actually quite thoughtful when it comes to making sure the other one is taken care of. I can now, for example, hand two graham crackers to Elsa and tell her to go give one to Clio, and she'll do it. Of course, she may very well steal it back from her five minutes later, but hey, baby steps, right? There are also spontaneous hugs, which Clio, in particular, is way into lately. (Elsa still tends to express her affection for Clio with sometimes violent exuberance -- a little like Lennie in Of Mice and Men. We're working on it.)
What's especially fun, though, is seeing how much they enjoy each other's company. Elsa finds Clio absolutely hilarious. Clio is often the instigator of things silly and absurd, and Elsa loves to play along. (Sometimes they will look at each other and just start cracking up for no reason I can comprehend, and these are the times that feel closest to some kind of "twin talk" thing between them.) Elsa, meanwhile, is usually the trailblazer when it comes to more "serious" activities -- physical things like climbing and exploring, and tactile things like building with blocks or playing with a particular toy. In those cases, Clio follows her lead.
Of course, there are still plenty of times when they just "parallel play" or blithely ignore each other and do their own thing, as kids their age are wont to do. Sometime one feels like interacting and the other would rather be left alone. But when they do really play together -- and are clearly having fun doing it -- damn, it's precious:
(And, inevitably, ends with someone asking for food.)
