Baby Squared

A Day in the Life

Friday, January 2. 7:40 a.m. -- The girls wake up. Clio first, as usual. She babbles to herself for a while, then starts calling, "Mommmmmmmyy!! Daddddddy!!" I nudge Alastair with my foot. It's his turn to get up with them, so I can catch a little extra rest.

 

9:15 a.m. -- My alarm wakes me up, and I'm surprised that I was actually asleep. The girls had been screaming and yelling downstairs -- for milk, for waffles, to sit in the big girl chairs -- who knows. While I lay in bed, I wondered a few times if I ought to get up, go downstairs and give A. a hand, but I had to deal with the more or less the same scenario the day before. It's his turn now.

 

9:30 --  After a quick shower, I come downstairs, eat half a banana (Elsa and Clio catch me in the act and, of course, ask for the other half) and warm up a cup of yesterday's coffee in the microwave. While Alastair takes a shower and gets dressed, I put the girls' shoes on, change Clio's diaper (she dirties it right after I put her shoes on, of course), and tell them that we're going to go to some friends' house and have pancakes. A few minutes later, as I'm getting their jackets on, Clio says, "Go friends! Have pan cakes!" I am amazed and delighted, and shower her with praise.

 

10:00 -- The usual mad scramble to get out the door: girls get all excited and start yelling for things (Elsa hat! Clio milk! Picka up! Picka up!) while Alastair can't find his glasses and I can't find my cell phone and we almost forget the diaper bag, and as usual in this kind of situation, we start snapping at each other. In the car, he's annoyed because I'm not positive what our friends' address is, I'm annoyed because he has no sense of direction, the girls are yelling "Nana phone! Nana phone!" but we don't have that CD in the car, and every other driver on the road is an asshole and all the lights are red and we should have listened to the GPS instead of my gut feeling, because this is a really stupid way to get to Jamaica Plain (then, what isn't?) and we're totally late and the girls are yelling for pancakes and my blood pressure must be through the roof.

 

10:45 -- Pancakes, coffee and conversation with friends we haven't seen in a while. Once we recover from the trip there, a good time is had by all. The girls play nicely and enthusiastically with our friends' 2-1/2 year old girl, while their 10-month old baby boy crawls amicably around watching the action and mouthing toys. Elsa rebukes him adorably when he pulls at the string on her sleeve: "That not for you!" Then the girls all sit at a kid-sized table in the kitchen and eat their weight in pineapple, melon, and strawberries. (Surprisingly, they only pick at the pancakes they were so excited about.) Later, they all dance adorably to a "baby loves jazz" CD.

 

12:30 -- We say our goodbyes and head home. I talk and sing to the girls the whole way so they won't fall asleep. Success: they make it home awake and go down quickly for a nap at around 1:15.

 

1:40 -- Clio wakes up (or maybe she never actually fell asleep) and starts babbling to herself. I am lying in bed, trying to read The Brief, Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, but soon realize that it's just not going to happen. Clio is trying to sing Banana Phone: "doo doo Nana phone! Doo doo doo doo Nana phone!" I go into the nursery hoping I can soothe her back to sleep, but she's got an extremely poopy diaper. I change her and take her out of the nursery so Elsa can keep napping, then bring her into bed with me and pretend to sleep, hoping she'll konk out and I can go back to my book. Instead, she pokes at various parts of my face with her index finger and giggles. When I say, "Let's go night night," she will squeeze her eyes shut for a few seconds, then smile and start poking me again. We lie there for a half hour or so, Clio alternately poking, babbling, and crawling on top of me.

 

2:30 -- Having accepted the fact that Clio is not going to sleep, I bring her downstairs and putter for a little while -- Clio is happy to play by herself while I do this -- then get her coat on. Per New Year's Parenting resolution #2, I'm taking her for the rest of the afternoon, while Alastair will stay behind and look after Elsa. Clio and I go to the grocery store, and it is so easy, so simple, so delightful and calm and fun that I almost find myself in tears. This is what I've been missing. She calls out the names of things on the shelves. She keeps tilting her head back to look at the lights, and I tickle her and she  giggles so adorably that people around us turn and look and smile. I feel painfully jealous of my friends with just one kid, or even two kids of different ages.

 

4:45 -- The second we get home, Clio goes from being happy and contented and calm to whiny and cranky and impatient. She wants to be picked up. She wants crackers. She wants crayons. Elsa becomes equally loud and wound-up. We put Curious George on, but it does little to distract them as I try to put the groceries away and get their dinner ready and Alastair hurries around getting his gear together for his gig that night. (I'm going, too.) When the babysitter arrives at 5:15, I have approximately five minutes to run upstairs and get dressed, throw my make-up bag into my purse (I'll put it on in the bathroom at the bar) and we're out the door. 

 

5:25 -- In the car, on the way to the club, A. and I apologize again to each other for having been so cranky and snippy to each other in the morning. I tell him how sweet and unstressful it was to go to the store alone with Clio. He is quiet for a moment, then says, "You know, when our friends say to us, 'having twins must be so hard; I don't know how you do it,' we're always so careful to say, 'well, having two or more kids at different ages is just as hard.' But you know what? Fuck that. Having two two-year-olds is ridiculous." We agreed we should pat ourselves on the back a little more often for how well we manage. We agreed that during long weekends and time off from work like this, we should get more daytime babysitting to avoid burnout. We realized that it had been almost a month since the two of us had gone on an actual "date," alone, and that that's too long. We get a parking spot right across the street from the bar.

 

6:30 pm -- Alastair is onstage playing, and sounds great. People filter in -- a good crowd is working up. I am drinking a glass of crappy but strong house chardonnay, and have a powerful urge to smoke a cigarette. I've never been an actual smoker, but there have been times in my life -- mostly during grad school -- when I would often have a cigarette or two in social / drinking situations. I feel suddenly nostalgic for my twenties. For uninterrupted conversations with friends and long, lazy weekend mornings at the diner. For eating out and going to movies. For the ease and lightness and spontaneity of it all. At the same time, I am self-aware enough to remember that by the time I was twenty-nine, thirty, I was getting bored with that life. I wanted a less self-focused existence. I wanted children.

 

11:30 -- We get home and say goodbye to the sitter (who reports that everything went fine, except that Elsa had a fit about sitting in her high chair; not surprising). I go into the girls' room as I do every night before bed and touch their cheeks and pull their blankets up over them. Tomorrow, I will be the one to get up with them, get them dressed, feed them breakfast. And though it would be nice to sleep in, I don't mind. In fact, I am looking forward to it. The next morning, when they wake up and Clio starts calling "Mommmmmy!" I will not groan and bury my head in the pillow. I will smile and get up right away. Because I just can't wait to see the little buggers. As exhausting and unrelenting as parenting -- and parenting twins in particular -- can be, it also brings me more joy and fulfillment than anything else I have ever done. Crazy how that works.

 

 

 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US

Comments

 

andy said:

great post =)  seriously, i cant imagine having 2 at once!  see you tomorrow!

January 3, 2009 9:45 PM
 

Amy said:

A friend suggested I read your blog, I have 18 month old twin girls.  THANK YOU for voicing some of the thoughts I have on a daily basis! :)  I've subscribed, and will be back!

January 3, 2009 11:39 PM
 

Michele said:

Oh, that sounds so, so familiar but my girls are only 15 months and not talking yet.  My hubby and I also switch mornings "off" and I love sleeping in but also love getting up that next day.  Funny how that works.  Adorable, adorable photo of you all.  Happy new year!

January 3, 2009 11:42 PM
 

Hillary said:

Grocery shopping with one kid is pleasant, isn't it? The store is one of The Boy's favorite places.

Also, I am incredibly jealous of your boots in that picture.

January 4, 2009 7:35 AM
 

amanda said:

The moment I had my daughter, I was even more in awe of my best friend, who has twin boys (now age 7). Knowing how exhausted I am sometimes between working full time and having one child, I cannot imagine how it would be with two the same age. CANNOT IMAGINE.

January 4, 2009 8:40 PM
 

April said:

That was beautiful and it made me tear up a little bit okay maybe more than a little bit. :) I am right there with you. God I felt like I was reading something I wrote myself or my own mind or something. So true.

January 4, 2009 8:57 PM
 

T's mom said:

Amen Sister! You hit the nail right on the head. I only have the one, and even though he's not quite 2 we've been in the twos for a while if you know what I mean. You and your husband have such a great give and take I hope that I can bring some of that into my life too.

January 4, 2009 10:15 PM
 

MaggieO said:

I'm a twin, and when my brother and I were two my dad, an Air Force pilot, was sent to Iran for a full year. Mom used to go to the grocery store by putting one of us in the cart, and the other on her back in one of those big metal-framed baby backpacks (too bad they didn't have the Ergo back then!) I have a two year-old now, and I definitely don't feel like I can ever complain to my mom! Anyway, this is just to say that I definitely do think raising two at the same time is tough. Hopefully when they're all grown up and one can't come home for Christmas, the other will be able to and it will make it all worthwhile. :)

January 5, 2009 8:35 AM
 

Lindy said:

I just wanted to say that this post made me feel so good about my future as a mommy of twin boys.  Our boys are 15 weeks old (5 weeks adjusted age) and there are seriously times when I wonder how I'm going to feel about being a mom of twins once they become mobile.  This helps me remember that even when I want to tear my hair out and when I secretly envy my singleton parent friends, my boys will still tug at my heart strings.  Because, really, I can't imagine not having one of them around.

January 5, 2009 12:59 PM
 

Melissa said:

I sometimes go through the same things with Michael, so I'm sure it's twice as hard with two.  Do you ever try to put Clio down at a later time?  Sounds like she was really tired from missing her nap.  She might just be on a different schedule from Elsa.  

I do envy that you have a babysitter.  Marcus and I rarely ever go out together.  My office Christmas party was seriously like a date and the first time we've been out dancing since Michael was born!  He does go to daycare every day, so that kind of balances out the sitter thing, I guess.  Last week I was on vacation and I still brought him to daycare!

January 5, 2009 1:22 PM
 

Jennifer said:

Thank you for making me laugh and cry reading the same post.  My favorite part was 'Fuck that.  Having two two-year-olds is ridiculous.'  I couldn't agree more!  Our girls turned 2 in October and when people comment on how hard it must be, I always say that it's a little easier than having 2 at different ages because they're on the same schedule and like to play together.  But they also like to fight like cats and dogs and throw temper tantrums at the same time.  

Sometimes having twins really sucks but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

January 5, 2009 3:08 PM
 

kc said:

I am taking a 6 hr flight with 15 month old twin girls tomorrow and I'm going to try to channel this post the whole way there.

January 5, 2009 3:59 PM
 

Janelle said:

Oh, Jane you speak right to my heart like none of my friends can.  My 28 month old fraternal twin girls keep me always on my toes.  Add to that a 10 year old boy and an 8 year old girl.  Add to that a husband that is in Iraq since June.  I can't wait for him to come home and give me just one of those 'sleep in' days.  

Two two-year-olds IS ridiculous.  But boy, is it fun too!

P.S.  I want those boots!

January 5, 2009 11:08 PM
 

Roper said:

Janelle -- I wish I could come over and give you a "sleep in" day! Two two year olds and two other kids AND a husband in Iraq? I've got *nothing* to complain about! You go.

As for the boots -- they were a bit of a splurge, but I adore them, and get more compliments on them than you'd believe. If you're interested, they're the Women's Marin Engineer boot by Miz Mooz. I got them at Endless.com.

January 6, 2009 9:07 AM
 

snickollet said:

Riley is a totally different kid when I can get some one-on-one time with him. It's amazing how much we both feel recharged by some special time together, hard as it is to come by.

Loved this post. It all rang so true.

January 6, 2009 1:54 PM
 

Niki said:

Thank you for being so real. I am pregnant with twins and have an 18 month old daughter that sounds a lot like Clio (as far as the poking and fake napping). I go on a lot of sites to see how parents manage all this and it sounds like sometimes it's just survival mode. No big secret. just do it, right? Anyway - some of those sites are overly emotional and just not realistic. SO THANK YOU.

January 8, 2009 12:28 AM
 

Holly Stephens said:

Coby has finally hit the "terrible twos" and it seems like every little thing turns into him throwing a fit. ("GIRAFFE BIB!!! GIRAFFE BIB!!!" It's dirty. It's in the wash. We can't have it. But you can have this _other_ bib with the giraffe on it. Or this nice orange bib. "NO!! GIRAFFE BIB!!"  [wrenching sobs ensue]) I couldn't IMAGINE having 2 doing this simultaneously, or alternately. It is stressful enough with just 1. It makes me think I may appreciate, rather than be more stressed out by, my soon-to-arrive newborn because at least he'll be crying for actual, reasonable, reasons. Hmm, unless he's colicky. But still that won't be him just _trying_ to be annoying/unreasonable!

January 10, 2009 9:21 PM

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About Roper

I'm an advertising copywriter, wannabe novelist, mother of twins, musician's wife, bleeding heart and wiseass.

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About the Blogger

Jane Roper

Jane Roper in Boston

One baby? Piece of cake. Try two. This working mother gives you the inside scoop on the ultimate in extreme parenting: twins.

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