You know, I love being a world famous blogger and all. The parties, the award shows, the late night talk show appearances...I can't complain. And I don't mind it when fans -- I mean, readers -- come up and tell me how much they love my blog or ask for an autograph, or take pictures of the girls. But sometimes it gets awfully tiring not being able to go out in public and just enjoy ourselves like any other family, you know?
You'd think that, of all people, other celebrities would understand. As we found out this weekend, however, that's not necessarily the case. At least not when it comes to the Affleck family.
We were at a Spring Fair fundraiser at a co-op nursery school in Cambridge that one of Alastair's (adult) guitar students invited us to. She thought it would be fun for the girls, and wanted Alastair to play a few tunes with the band. While he played, I was doing some magnet-on-the-end-of-a-string fishing with the girls when I noticed this pumped up dude in a Celtics t-shirt gawking at us from a few feet away. I didn't recognize him at first, but realized it was Ben Affleck. I gave him a quick smile/nod thing -- it's something we celebrities do when we see each other in public. Sort of a secret handshake, if you will. Like, "hey, I know you, you know me, everyone knows us, it's rough but, what can you do?"
But Affleck decided to take my gesture as some kind of invitation. He comes up -- he's got Violet with him; cute kid -- and starts stammering something along the lines of, "Oh my God, Jane Roper, Jen and I love your blog, it's so great, and we should have you and Alastair over for dinner sometime, and can I just say, you're even more beautiful in person than you are in your pictures, I have to tell my buddy Matt, he's got a huge crush on you, blah blah blah..." Then he starts telling Violet, "Hey look, that's Elsa and Clio, the twins from the website! Go see if they want to play with you!"
And I'm thinking, whoah. Slow down, buddy. I've never even met you or your kid, and we have a strict policy about not letting our girls play with other celebrity children. We don't want them to end up like Lindsay Lohan, OK? Of course, you can't say these things. You have to be polite. So I said something like, "thanks for reading, I appreciate your support, loved your work in Dazed and Confused, Violet's adorable, tell Matt to call me, etc."
I let him take a picture of me and the girls and Violet with his cell phone and at that point I'm thinking, OK, maybe he'll go away now and we can hit the bake sale, when all of a sudden, he's waving at Jen to come over. Then she's gushing all over us, saying how cute the girls are, telling me how much she loves reading my blog, and how much she can relate to it and what a wise and brilliant woman I am, not to mention hilarious, and by the way, who does my hair?
Now, Jennifer Garner really is a lovely person, and she's a fellow mom, so I actually enjoyed chatting with her -- for the first fifteen minutes. But she just would not go away. She kept asking me for parenting advice, and then she started telling me what all her favorite blog posts were, and eventually she asked if I thought she could get a blog on Babble, and could I put her in touch with the editors. It started getting very awkward. Meanwhile, Violet had tugged Ben off to do something else, and Elsa and Clio were whining at me to get them cookies and juice boxes, and finally I just had to say, "I'm sorry Jen, I'd love to talk more, but I really have to get these girls a snack." To her credit, she was very gracious -- even apologetic -- and said she'd love to get the girls together for a playdate sometime. I told her I'd have my people call her people.
The rest of the morning was more or less fine. One time, I spotted Jen pointing me out to a bunch of other moms, which was slightly embarrassing. I'm also pretty sure that at one point she was trying to get pictures of Elsa and Clio on her cell phone without my noticing, which I don't exactly appreciate. And a couple of times, I caught Ben staring at me from across the playground with what I can only describe as a look of unadulterated, adulterous longing. But it's not like he's the first.
Anyway. I know that this is what I signed up for when I started writing for Babble, so it's not like I have the right to complain. I just expected a little bit better from the movie star set.
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What really happened:
We went to the Spring Fair at the nursery school in Cambridge as reported. I spotted an incongruously jacked up, handsome guy in a Celtics t-shirt and jeans, who totally stood out from the crowd of normal-looking, artsy/preppy Cambridge types, and I was sorta kinda checking him out. I admit it. I didn't realize it was Ben Affleck until the exact second that he caught me looking at him, and he sort of uncomfortably looked away, looking a tad annoyed, and I thought: Shit! He thought I was looking at him because he's Ben Affleck! But I wasn't! I swear! I was just looking at him because he was incongrously striking-looking and hot! And now I feel like such a dork!
Turns out, Ben went to this particular nursery school as a kid, and now Violet goes there. For the rest of the morning, in the midst of running around after Clio and Elsa, I tried to resist but couldn't help stealing furtive glances at him and at Jennifer Garner (who really is gorgeous, and seems awfully nice). Several times, we got within a few feet of them and I was kind of hoping Elsa or Clio would go over to Violet and start, you know, trying to grab a toy out of her hands or something, so I could share a genuine, parent-to-parent "oh ho ho, kids, what can you do?" moment with them, but it didn't happen. I briefly considered asking them for a picture with the girls so I could post it here, thinking, "they must know Babble, right? They're on Strollerderby all the time!" I soon realized...um. No. probably not.
It's got to be all kinds of challenging to raise a normal kid when you're such recognizable celebrities. But these guys really did seem as natural and normal as could be expected, and I think it's pretty cool that their daughter is in a co-op nursery school in Cambridge. And if you're reading this, Jen and/or Ben....playdate? Your place?
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One more thing: a handful of times, the girls and/or I actually have been "recognized" around town by people who read this blog, and I always find it surprising / cool / fun / etc. Once, a woman who came up to me to say she read the blog was actually apologetic, saying "I'm sorry to bother you!" as if I really was some kind of celebrity. I find this hilarious. If you ever see me or Alastair or the girls and want to say howdy, PLEASE do! I really do love meeting people who read this blog.
Excuse me, now. I have to go get the girls dressed for another damned birthday party at Brad and Angie's.
