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  • Clio's Afternoon Nap, 2007-2009: A Eulogy

    Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today not to mourn the loss of Clio's nap, but to celebrate it. Because that's what the nap would have wanted us to do. It would not have wanted us to dwell on its absence with weeping and lamention, although certainly that is a natural reaction to a loss of something so, so, SO dear to us. Excuse me -- sorry, I just need a minute, I'm fine, really -- does anyone have a tissue? Thank you.

     

    As I was saying, this nap had a long, happy life -- longer than many afternoon naps. So let's remember the good times we had while it was with us -- all the things that the nap brought into our lives: time to write or relax or catch up on email; time to recover our energy and patience after a hectic morning; time to nap ourselves. And let us not forget the powerful sense of hope that the nap brought us. For even on the days when we were up far too early, and the morning was far too exhausting, and everyone was in far, far too crappy a mood, we could always draw strength from the knowledge that soon, very soon, we'd get a break. The nap would not let us down. Almost never, anyway.

     

     

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  • The Pretend Play's the Thing

    Elsa and Clio have a new obsession: taking care of their "babies." Elsa's baby of choice is a Curious George doll (always referred to by his full name: "Curious George the Monkey) and Clio's is a "Bitty Twins" doll whose name, Clio recently informed us, is "Cora." Clio pronounces it "Koora" but if you say "Koora" back to her, she'll say, "No, Kooooo-ra!" until you say "Cora." Go figure. We have no idea where this came from. A fusion of Clio and Dora, perhaps? (The girls have a Dora dollhouse.) A nonsense sound that turned out to be an actual name? Interestingly, it's one of the names that was on my short list when I was pregnant.

     

    The most popular playing-with-babies activity is putting Cora and Curious George the Monkey in the doll strollers and pushing them around the house at madcap speed. Dressing them up in hats, mittens, jackets, and whatever else the girls find in the front hall is also a hit. On Saturday afternoon, once everyone was suitably dressed for the cold,  the girls pushed their babies in their strollers to the playground two blocks away. (Aside: I love that we live so close to a playground. I do not love that some hooligans have graffitied it up with drawings of disturbingly anatomically correct penises.)

     

    (Pics after the jump! Not of the anatomically correct penises!)

     

     

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  • The Disappearing Nap

    Yes, I know; I have no right to complain. My girls have generally been great sleepers, and we can't realistically expect them to go on sleeping 14 hours a day forever (12 at night, two at their nap). But still, it is with considerable sorrow that I must announce that the afternoon nap, generally taken between 12:30 and 2:30 every day, appears to be on its way out. For the last couple of weeks, the girls have gone many a day without ever actually falling asleep at naptime. Or if they have fallen asleep, it's only been for about half an hour. Our precious, precious hours of midday respite -- dwindling! (Maybe this is just a phase? Please, let it be just a phase!)

     

    Itmay be in part because the girls are so enthusiastic about talking to each other lately. They really do like to chatter back and forth. I wonder if it might be worth trying to separate them during naptime, as one reader mentioned she did with her kids. The other problem is that they seem to both enjoy taking massive dumps right as their naps are starting, which is definitely not conducive to sleep, and requires an interruptive diaper change. (Sorry, TMI?)

     

    (Pics after the jump. Not of them needing a diaper change.)

     

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  • Sleep, baby, sleep.

    Two out of the past three days, Clio has decided that she doesn't feel like taking her nap. What's worse -- she's done just fine without it. No tantrums, no meltdowns, not even excessive early eye-rubbing. This concerns us greatly. If Clio gives up her nap, that means no child-free respite in the middle of day. No break. Those precious two (if we're lucky) hours of quiet and calm -- to catch up on email or read or write or catch a few winks ourselves -- gone.

     

    The girls are such good sleepers, I'd always assumed they'd keep taking a nap until they were three -- or at least two and a half. Elsa probably will; the girl is a voracious sleeper. But little Clio -- who, come to think of it, didn't do a whole lot of sleeping in-utero either -- may be on her way to a napless existence. I hope it's just a phase. Dear God, let it just be a phase.

     

    (Pics after the jump!)

     

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  • Transition Accomplished.

    For the past couple of weeks, the girls' nap schedule has been kinda funky. The morning nap started shifting to late morning, ending at noon or even later, and the afternoon nap started becoming quite brief, if it happened at all. It was tricky, unpredictable, and sometimes exasperating

     

    Clio has been the primary instigator of the change -- she's always seemed to need a bit less sleep than Elsa, and lately the contrast has been sharper. But as devoted as we are to our children, we are not so devoted that we're willing to put up with two separate nap schedules. Also, we're spoiled: they've always been good sleepers. I think this is a combination of genetic good fortune (we are both extremely lazy) and concerted effort on our part, with help from Dr. Weissbluth. (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is our bible.)

     

    On Friday morning, Alastair was working and I was home with the girls, and I'm not quite sure what possessed me -- The balmy spring weather? The promise of morning trips to the zoo? Sheer derring-do? -- but I decided to see what would happen if I didn't put them down for their morning nap.

     

    I expected a total meltdown, especially from Miss Elsa, who generally turns into a cranky, eye-rubbing, whiny little...something...at around 9:30. And that did start to happen, but I promptly took the girls outside, and we played with the $1.99 drugstore balls I'd bought for them the other day -- you know, the same kind you had as a kid: marbled with various colors, kept in a big, cage-like container at the store. This outdoor play seemed to give the girls a second wind. Then we did some mega-lego construction, watched a little Sesame Street (sue me), and had an early lunch. I put them down for a nap at about 12:15, and they slept for almost two hours. Not too shabby! We put them to bed a little early in the evening, and that seemed to work out fine. For three days now, they've been on just one nap.

     

    The key seems to be keeping them (and us) occupied in the morning. So, on Saturday morning we went out with them to buy some gardening supplies (the Home Depot is a wonderland of excitement!) And today -- drumroll, please -- we went to church. Something that we hope to continue doing fairly regularly, until the girls rebel and become Orthodox Jews or Baptists or something. Why would that be rebellion, you ask? Well, it's a Unitarian Universalist church. Pretty liberal, pretty crunchy. But it reflects our values, and -- we hope -- will give the girls some grounding in the Judeo-Christian tradition whence they came, while also introducing them to other faiths. Having gone to church (Congregational) throughout all of my childhood and adolescence with my family, I also really value the community that a church (or synagogue, etc.) represents.

     

    I can't believe I'm saying this. For stretches in my life, I hated going to church. But here I am, a parent, glad in retrospect that I had the experience. Along with piano lessons and not being allowed to eat sugared cereal.

     

    Anyway, we first checked out this particular church on Christmas Eve, 2006, when I was great with child(ren). Then we went a couple of times when the girls were very small, and content to be held or nursed throughout the service. But since then, their nap schedule -- and our Draconian insistence on sticking to it -- has precluded the possibility. Until today.

     

    We were planning to keep the girls with us during the service (ha!), but a nice church lady told us that there was, in fact, childcare at the annex across the street. We had assumed it was for older kids, but lo and behold, there was a nursery room full of age-appropriate toys, several small children/toddlers, and nice, responsible teenagers to look after them. We've  never left the girls on their own before except with their regular sitters (in our home) or their grandparents. I feared that Clio would have a meltdown when we left. But she did just fine. In fact, she apparently did some dancing. And both of them ate a LOT of goldfish crackers. (No surprise there.) Meanwhile, we got to sit and enjoy the service. Though it pained me a little to leave them -- Clio, especially -- I also think it was probably good for them. And us. 

     

    Don't get me wrong -- we will miss the morning nap. Alastair moreso than me -- he's home with the girls four mornings a week when I'm at work. That nap was a nice little reprieve; a time to enjoy a cup of coffee and a magazine, catch up on email, or just catch a little more sleep. But as today demonstrated, there are upsides to the one-nap-a-day regimen.

     

    Full disclosure: the girls didn't sleep very well this afternoon after lunch. In fact, I'm not sure Clio got more than 15 or 20 minutes. It wasn't pretty. But I'm hoping that once they get used to this new routine, they'll start taking a nice, healthy two-ish hour nap on a regular basis. I have faith. (See what going to church once a year will do for a person?)


  • R.I.P. Morning Nap

    Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to say farewell to a dear friend: the two to three hour nap that Elsa and Clio have taken each morning for the last eight months.

     

    I think we can all agree, it was a good nap. A merciful nap. The kind of nap that allowed us to go back to bed and get a little more sleep, if we so chose. The kind of nap which is in part responsible for the fact that I've manage to write almost an entire second draft of a novel since the girls were born. The sort of nap that was always there for us, whether we needed to catch up on email or do household chores or even just enjoy a nice cup of coffee and a magazine in peace. We knew that the morning nap -- unlike the less predictable, much shorter afternoon one -- would never let us down, and we were grateful for it.

     

    But for everything, there is a season. And the season of the morning nap has now passed. Though we tried in vain to make it linger, we realized -- as we always realize -- that we are powerless in the face of two wide-awake babies who will have none of it. Babies who will fling their pacifiers out of the crib and scream bloody murder until mommy, who was supposed to get to sleep in today and would have made some different choices last night had she known she couldn't, has to drag her tired butt out of bed and hang out with them for the next three hours. To everything, turn, turn, turn, etc.

     

    Of course, this cloud does have a silver lining: the girls seem to be sleeping later in the mornings these days, until the humane hour of seven, even seven-thirty. And, with hope, they will take a nice long early afternoon nap, which we will love and embrace and accept just as we did the morning nap. It won't be the same, but we will survive. We will go on.

     

    Good bye, morning nap. You will be missed.

     

    Places to go, people to see, nap shnap. (Author's note: they insist on wearing these absurd hats all the time. Who are we to stop them? Again, powerless.)

     



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About the Blogger

Jane Roper

Jane Roper in Boston

One baby? Piece of cake. Try two. This working mother gives you the inside scoop on the ultimate in extreme parenting: twins.

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