One of my favorite parts about writing this blog is getting comments from expectant twin parents who say that reading about my experiences gives them hope or quells their fears. Because being pregnant with twins is scary: the risks of the pregnancy itself, including pre-term delivery, preeclampsia, and other complications, the fear of coping with two babies, the financial and logistical concerns you have to grapple with. The way some people react when you tell them you're having twins, you'd think you'd just told them you were headed to a gulag. The police officer who checked our carseat installation said, "I feel sorry for you guys." And one acquaintance of mine, when I told her I was pregant with twins, actually said "oh, no!"
Fortunately, I also talked with and read the blogs and books of twin parents who emphasized the positive. I was so grateful to the MOT I met at a meeting of our local mother of twins club who made a point of telling me -- 7 months pregnant at the time -- just how much fun it is having twins. So now I'll do the same: in honor of people everywhere who are expecting twins, I give you my Top 5 Favorite Things About Having Twins. (I may well follow this up at some point with the Top 5 Suckiest Things About Having Twins, but today I'm in a good mood.)
In no particular order:
1. Chill parents-R-us. I think having twins is a lot more like having your second child, in that you don't worry and obsess about things as much. You just don't have the luxury. Are pacifiers bad? Who cares! Both babies are crying at once! Am I doing enough to stimulate my babies' intellectual, social and emotional development? Hell, are they both alive, fed, and not breaking out in sores? Terrific!
2. Two and through. We've always been pretty sure we wanted to
have two kids, and now we've got them. I don't have to go through the
inconvenience and discomfort of pregnancy again (not that my pregnancy
was that hard, truth be told, but I'm trying to do a Top 5 list
here....) and we don't have to go through the whole sleepless,
relentless, thankless newborn phase again. Nor do we have to attempt to
simultaneously meet the needs of a toddler or small child and an
infant, which has always struck me as more difficult in many ways than
trying to meet the needs of two little'uns of the same age.
3. "Gosh, I wish I could, but..." For the first time in my life, I find myself capable of saying no -- without guilt -- to social engagements, freelance projects, favor requests, etc. that I don't have time for or simply don't want to do. One baby can only get you out of so much, for so long. But with two...Who would dare to try to tell me I'm full of shit when I say I'm too busy?
4. BFF. Our girls are interacting with each other more and more. It's a blast to watch them together, and it's great for us that they can actually keep each other entertained. Sure, they'll probably go through a phase where they divide their room down the middle with a piece of string, refuse to speak to each other, and put each other's bras in the freezer. But even if they don't end up being the best of friends, they'll always have a special kind of bond.
5. Nature over nurture. Two babies raised at the same time, in the same circumstances, and they're completely unique individuals. Of course, they share some traits and tendencies, being siblings and all, and perhaps we treat them differently in response to their personalities, which, in turn, shapes those personalities further. But overall, having twins is an incredible opportunity to witness and appreciate just how innate personality, preferences, and the course of developmental progress are, and it's fascinating to watch the differences between the two babies play out. Put more simply: twins are wicked fun.
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Coming soon -- as soon as the mister uploads all the pictures, that is -- tales of this past weekend, in which Elsa and Clio take Westchester County by storm. The cast of characters includes abuelito, Grandma applesauce, two golden retrievers, one eccentric uncle, a 96-year-old great grandmother, an animatronic bear, and two small babies, one of whom can CRAWL!!
