Baby Squared

Browse by Tags

(RSS)
  • You know it's hard out here for a toddler.

    Poor Elsa. She's had a rough week. First off, she's still having poop issues. (Can you believe it? I managed to go a whole month and a half without writing about poop!) This in spite of a very fiber-rich diet and lots of liquids. She goes most days, but I think she holds off as long as possible, and then when she does go, it's quite traumatic. Things are....well, large. A week ago, I spent ten minutes sitting on the floor with her and holding her and rubbing her back while she labored. It seriously was like that -- I had visions of myself, thirty years from now, helping her as she gives birth to her first child, rubbing her back and saying, "you know, this reminds me of when you were little, and you were having constipation issues...." 

     

    Hm. I don't know why I'm assuming that I would be there while Elsa is laboring. I guess sometimes mothers do that. Especially on TV. (Wasn't the whole freakin' Cosby family in the room with Sandra while she pushed?) But my mother certainly wasn't there when I was in labor, and that was A-OK with me.

     

    In any case. I never could have anticipated that part of being a parent would be comforting my child while she tries to do her business. And that there would be something very sweet and tender about it. (About the comforting, that is. Not the...oh never mind.) I am beginning to think, however, that it's time to bring in the big guns in an attempt to get to the bottom of (ha ha) this problem. Has anyone out there had any luck with mineral oil?

     

     

     

    Read More...


  • Mommy's turn to cry

    Remember how I said I wasn't going to write about bodily functions anymore?  I lied. Well, sort of. This isn't about Elsa and Clio's bodily functions, but my own. Puking, specifically. I spent several hours last night engaged in this delightful activity, my stomach repeatedly, violently insisting on purging itself of its contents long after there was nothing left to purge. It was wretched. On the bright side: at least there was women's gymnastics to watch in between pukes. And the US kicked ass!

     

    After the medal ceremony and some final, valedictory heaves, I basically lay in bed moaning for awhile, because I felt so completely awful -- aching, shaky, spent. Eventually I fell asleep. Today, fortunately, there's been no more puking. But lots of aching and nausea and feeling exhausted. As I write this, I am snacking on my children's Goldfish crackers, bringing my total caloric intake for the day up into the triple digits, I hope. (Another bright side: easy 2 pound crash diet!)

     

    Seriously, though, what is the deal with parenting and getting sick?

     

     

    Read More...


  • McMurphy's Law

    I added the "Mc" in honor of the fact that Alastair is currently in Scotland (which is a key element of this story). McMurphy's law, in our case, goes a little something like this:

     

    If your husband leaves for the UK for a week on Monday night, leaving you alone with your twin one-year-old daughters, then on Tuesday morning, you will wake up feeling nauseated and shaky. While changing the diaper of one of your daughters, you will have to stop mid-change, leaving onesie and PJs unfastened, plop daughter onto the floor and run into the bathroom to puke.

     

    You will then fumble your way through dressing your babies and yourself and proceed to go to work even though you feel like absolute shite, because, seeing as McMurphy's law is in effect, you will also be in the midst of the PROJECT FROM HELL, on a tight deadline, and it's not the kind of thing you can easily pass off to someone else.

     

    You'll soldier through a few hours of work, until people start giving you funny/scared looks as you shuffle greenly through the corridors with a shawl wrapped around you, and you realize you really need to go home and get in bed. (But you also will bring your work home with you, because you've still got to get in a few more hours.) When you wake up from your nap, it will be to the sound of one of your daughters (McClio), downstairs with Jean, crying inconsolably. When you go downstairs and pick her up, she will promptly puke all over you. And continue to puke approximately every half hour for the next three hours. (In between puking and cleaning up after it, you will be trying to get work done, of course.)

     

    You get the gist of it. Yes, yesterday things were looking grim in the Baby Squared household. I was bracing myself for a terrrible night -- I thought Clio would continue throwing up, and that it was only a matter of time before Elsa joined in. And, of course, I still felt like crap, and had a raging headache owing to the fact that I'd barely eaten or drunk anything all day.  I made a panicked, tearful call to mom and dad (not thinking they could actually do anything, just looking for parental love) and called on a friend, who delivered Pedialyte and a much-needed hug.

     

    Then McMurphy showed me a little mercy. Clio slept soundly through the night, and today she was feeling much better -- almost her normal self. The bug has migrated to her lower GI tract, where it is much less unpleasant for her, apparently. Elsa is, so far, still healthy. (Still waiting for the other McShoe to drop there...) I'm feeling better, AND we brought in a freelancer to help me with the big bad project. So life seems much less overwhelming.

     

    I actually considered blogging last night in the midst of my misery, because I knew you guys would come through with sympathy and cheerleading and your own tales of sick baby woe to make me feel better. Turns out, even just knowing that was a great comfort. So I decided to turn off the computer and get some much-needed rest instead. (McThank you!)

     


  • Snot-nosed brats

    That's what we've got around here. Two sick babies, daily excreting what appears to be equal to their body weight in mucus. And oh, how unhappy they are about it! Clio, especially. There have been several times over the past few days where she has cried inconsolably for fifteen minutes at a stretch, refusing to nurse, flinging bottles and pacifiers angrily away. And then, all of a sudden, she'll be fine -- happy as a small, chubby, snot-nosed clam.

     

    We have to follow the two of them around with tissues, periodically wiping off the little twin snail trails of mucus over their upper lips. And if there is one thing these girls HATE, it's having their noses wiped. Actually, the only thing they hate more is having their noses suctioned out with a bulb syringe. Thank goodness it's winter, because if the windows were open and the neighbors heard the girls' screams of agony while we do this, they'd be fully justified in calling the authorities. (And to think, a few short months ago, my girls actually let me pick their noses. Ah. Memories.)

     

    But back to the bulb syringe: it's a real Catch-22. The thing really can be effective -- and I'll admit, I do draw some small, sick measure of satisfaction from suctioning out a big, gurgly ole glob of nose juice -- but because the girls cry while we do it, they just generate more snot. And on it goes. When can you teach a baby to blow their nose? Shouldn't there be some deeply ingrained, primal extinct to exhale forcefully through an orifice if said orifice is clogged?

     

    It must really be a drag to feel awful and not understand why and not be able to do anything about it, or ask for a cup of tea, or knock yourself out with NyQuil. They can't even nurse or drink from bottles comfortably, because their noses are clogged. And the only "treatment" we can give them is a steam vaporizer in their room.

     

    I'm sick, too, naturally. My throat hurts, I can barely speak, and I'm exhausted. As Murphy's law would have it, this was also one of the busiest weeks I've ever had at work, and instead of being able to curl up in my PJs and drink OJ and recover, I've been writing web copy for a pharmaceutical company and going to meetings. And scraping ice and snow off my car, repeatedly. And getting up in the middle of the night to nurse and rock sick little babies. But still. At least I know it's temporary. And at least I know how to blow my nose.

     



in

About the Blogger

Jane Roper

Jane Roper in Boston

One baby? Piece of cake. Try two. This working mother gives you the inside scoop on the ultimate in extreme parenting: twins.

GROUP BLOGS

  • Strollerderby

    The smartest, funniest, most exhaustive parenting blog in the blogosphere.
  • Droolicious

    Modern design for modern parents.
  • FameCrawler

    Your daily baby celebrity fix.
back to blog homepage