Baby Squared - All Comments

re: Understanding Clio

mattdm — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:46:45 GMT

I think you've got plenty of advice so I'll just share my story. My older daughter (3) went through a phase where she demanded everything in yellow. We'd give her food on the pink plate, and she'd yell for the yellow one.

So, the younger one (1 1/2) doesn't know her colors yet, but she's learned the word "yellow" to mean "I don't want this one! I, for no discernable reason, want an apparently identical but different one!"

You put her in a swing at the playground, and she'll yell "yellow one!" until you switch swings. Same thing with clothes or shoes, even if they really are yellow.

re: Understanding Clio

kieransma — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 22:27:11 GMT

hmmm- i wish my 2 1/2 year old was simply picky. he asserts his individuality by squirting/spilling/smearing anything he can get his hands on as soon as i take my eyes off of him. today it was a tube of toothpaste- all over the television and his hands (oh, and some salad dressing for good measure), last week it was a forty dollar tube of perfumed creme left over from my wedding (at least he smelled nice that day)...this can take place in as little as five minutes time. sigh...

re: Babies who prey on the weak

Holly — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 20:29:50 GMT

I have twin sisters who switched back and forth in terms of who was in charge on what seemed to be a daily basis when they were little. As they've gotten older, the time frames for their switches has increased. They are almost adults and still seem to do this.

re: Escape to the Mall

betty — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 17:53:05 GMT

good for you! my trying on days are over. even with snacks. i did once see a toddler being pushed in a stroller, in the mall, with a portable dvd player on the front of the stroller playing toy story. now that's a serious need for some shopping. please God don't ever let me attach a portable dvd player to a stroller. snacks yes. dvd player? no.

re: Understanding Clio

Melissa — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 17:20:30 GMT

It's part of the tyranny of toddlerhood! No rhyme or reason. Just control issues. It's very trying, as I have my own control issues to deal with. I tend to pick my battles too. Some days it's just worth it not to hear the screaming.

re: Understanding Clio

Cat — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 17:09:55 GMT

Yup-i don't have twins but I could have written that post about my 2 year old daughter (luckily 10 month old son still pretty much rolls with us).

There are times when I've actually wondered if she has a psychiatric problem she gets so upset about the craziest stuff!

Glad to see that it really does seem to be just developmental and I, too, just pick my battles: Safety, Health and meaness/obnoxiousness are not tolerated or bargained about. The rest? eh, whatever.

re: Understanding Clio

Rachel — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:57:37 GMT

I agree with everyone else about picking your battles. That was our motto from age 18 months to almost 4, and we, as you know, have a fairly easy going little one most of the time. I think it is a developmental, assertiveness thing, as others have said.

The Tantrum in Tomorrowland totally cracked me up. My parents have told similar stories about me, but we don't have the snapshots to prove them. :-)

A few months ago we went on a outing with a friend and her daughter (both girls were 3). We put the two carseats in one car so we could carpool, and my friend's daughter was absolutely insisting that she sit in Evie's car seat and vice versa. We finally gave in and let them switch seats (after Evie said "It's OK with me, I just want her to stop crying"), but the other girl continued to cry for the entire car ride because it had been "ruined."

re: Understanding Clio

alicia — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:21:22 GMT

It's not a Twin thing..My almost 3-year old non twin does it as well...I think its just a stubborn thing :) I love your blog-it almost always makes me laugh!

re: Understanding Clio

churlita — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:43:56 GMT

My oldest daughter has always been like that. She's 16 right now and has just mellowed with age...For the most part.

re: Understanding Clio

mombo — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:12:42 GMT

I totally agree with Hippygoth: Pick your battles. Imagine a scenario in which Clio IS getting persnickety about every possible choice. Which ones do YOU want to be in charge of? Carseat? Shoes? And just be very steadfast if and when it comes up. For me, thinking about this stuff ahead of time helps me be prepared when the storm does blow in, and I know I'm not going to waver. Part of it is a testing thing: If I get to pick my cup, do I also get to pick my outfit? Do I get to pick to have donuts for dinner? Hmm...

As we teachers know, you don't want to tolerate something the first day that you're not willing to put up with all year. I totally live by that rule at home too. Also, I don't know if your girls notice when you change your mind about something, but my guy TOTALLY knows if I've said NO to something before and all of a sudden it's allowed (or worse, vice versa).

Good luck.

re: Understanding Clio

hippygoth — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:31:42 GMT

I don't have a lot of advice here - as my kiddo is the ripe old age of 10 months, and her only preference is for the dirtiest possible thing she can find to put in her mouth. I worked in the toddler room of a day care for 2 years and saw this sort of thing all the time, and our response was to pick our battles. I don't know if with Clio it's because she's a twin, but we saw this with tons of kids. I really think it is a developmental thing. In the classroom, depending on our time, the reasonableness of the request, and whether it would negatively impact another kid, sometimes we'd accede, and sometimes we'd say, "I'm sorry, but you don't get a choice about this," and weather the storm.

One of my favorites was this little guy, Keegan, who had to have a cloth diaper to snuggle at naptime - he called them "rags." Even though they were all identical, apparently he had some way of telling them apart, or pretending to. He called them "blue rags" and "yellow rags." He'd look at one clean cloth diaper and say, "Not the blue rag, I want the yellow rag!" and so I'd give him another identical one, and he'd say thanks and roll over.

re: Understanding Clio

Jen — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 09:38:01 GMT

Can I confess to having a strong, completely-irrational preference for the persnickety, ethereal Ms. Clio? How on earth do parents stay neutral?

re: Understanding Clio

Alyson — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 04:07:58 GMT

We're doing this too. Thankfully, they've each picked different things to be particular over. Emily has an opinion about which outfit she wants to wear and Kate could care less. And Kate is very adamant about using the correct sippy cup while Emily is just happy to have something to drink. So, I pull two outfits and ask Emily which one she wants. And then I pour two "juicies" and let Kate choose.

That said, I've made it a point to not over indulge these things. If I "do it wrong" or "ruin everything" then maybe I'll apologize and try to remember next time. Other than that, they just have to suck it up. For reals.

Also at issue: Wanting to do everything their very ownselves, whether they have the skill, dexterity, height, and/or knowledge to actually pull it off. Offers of "Mama do" are soundly (and loudly!) rebuked.

I fear "The Twos" are coming, my friend.

re: Understanding Clio

Eva — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 02:17:26 GMT

"I'm just glad that this fussiness hasn't extended to all aspects of life -- clothes, shoes, diapers, car seats. "

We're at that point. They have preferences about high chairs, which side of the stroller (sometimes my daughter goes to daycare in her brother's clothes, and he often goes wearing a barrette), changing pads, towels... Sippy cups were a problem until I switched up the top and bottom and now everyone thinks they have blue (because my daughter defines blue as the top and my son as the bottom, thank goodness). Sometimes I give in, sometimes I tell them to suck it up. Mostly I try to buy two identical of everything so we avoid confrontation (though as you said, sometimes when the options are identical, there's still a better one).

re: Understanding Clio

diera — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 02:16:35 GMT

Oh, you're bringing back such horrible memories of the passage of my first through this stage. What I recall was the total frustration of having "ruined" the thing by having done it "wrong" the first time. He went through one period of wanting to be the one to turn the lights off when we left a room, and if I forgot and turned them off, I couldn't just turn them back on and let him do it - it had all gone bad. Oh, god, and the wrong cup or the wrong spoon or the wrong shirt or the wrong crayons... Bad, bad, bad, bad.

I think we sort of split the difference in how to handle it. We generally tried to do things his way when we could, when they were innocent as you put it, but didn't kill ourselves trying to do so when it would have been incredibly arduous or absurd. That way we didn't face a tantrum every ten minutes, but at the same time we didn't protect him from every instance of not having his way. "Pick your battles" was our watchword. As he got bigger he got much more resilient and less picky and is a delight of a six-year-old now.

re: Understanding Clio

Morgan Swanson — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 01:35:04 GMT

I cannot advise, but I CAN sympathize. Sigh.... I find myself engineering my 20 month old's day to avoid any and all meltdowns, if possible. The whining - even just ONE second of it - is enough to drive me up the wall, bring me to tears and to the Merlot (after her bedtime, OF COURSE).

At this point, it is pretty simple to keep her world orderly and avoid meltdown triggers, but I know it won't always be that way. I struggle, too, with the idea that I should be making her comply to my decisions and not giving her her way all the time - but, oh, the hideous whining sound, I CANNOT TAKE IT!

re: Kiss me, baby

Mommychicky — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 18:31:06 GMT

Just wait until they kiss you and say "I wuv you mommy. You best friend ever and ever". Darn near breaks my heart every time she does it. (she's 2.5 now and I just want to record this moment in time to play back for her when she's 15)

re: Eating out With Toddlers: A Primer

Lorelei — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 23:47:25 GMT

Good tips. I have 17-month old twins (boys), and it is critical that you do a buffet or take relatives, or even better, do both. However, sometimes we are just dying to eat out, just to get out of the house. I still don't get to leave the house very often, so it is a treat even when it's exhausting, if that makes sense. Also, I highly recommend these plastic disposable placemat things I found at Kroger, they stick to the table and then peel back off -- but not so easily for the boys to do it. They don't hurt the table though. They have engaging pictures on them, and you can let them eat right off the table. Also, I take wet ones and my own paper towels.

Also, we try to give them a light snack while playing with them, but don't let them get full before the food comes, because we want them good and hungry when the food does come. that way, we get to eat while they're eating. Sounds good in theory, but it doesn't really work exactly right.

My rule is never try to stay in a restaurant for more than 20 minutes, whether you are still hungry or not. Pack up the food and get out of there!

re: Poison Control Call #2

Lin — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:53:25 GMT

The first time my husband stayed home alone with our daughter, she bit off a piece of a glass chess piece (a bishop, maybe?) and had it clicking around in her mouth before he noticed. She was fine. We think she has superpowers.

My best friend's daughter prefers dryer sheets.

Ew.

re: Waffles and Bubbles and Flowers, Oh my!

Mark — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:10:08 GMT

This is cute.

re: Escape to the Mall

snickollet — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:58:34 GMT

Good work at the mall. I am all about bribing my kids with snacks to get them to sit in the stroller. You gotta do what you gotta do.

For the record, Wii hula-hooping is seriously fun. It's one of my favorite Wii games, actually.

re: Escape to the Mall

leahsmom — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:31:30 GMT

Just FYI, I would totally vote for either of your girls for mayor of the mall!

re: Escape to the Mall

EG — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 01:47:34 GMT

We did Target today, and I had a sad realization that my joy of taking Little Man shopping with me is over. He wants EVERYTHING. Shampoo. Everything round because he assumes it's a ball or balloon. Everything Elmo (how does he know who Elmo is?! are they born that way?!).

re: Escape to the Mall

Heidi — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 22:13:20 GMT

Do you take a side by side or front and back stroller? I have both for my twins and am not sure which will fit better in a dressing room...so I just make do with maternity clothes that (thankfully) don't fit very well!

re: Escape to the Mall

knockedup — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 21:15:04 GMT

We just did a mall trip yesterday, too. Not so succesful. Silly me, no cheddar bunnies. When the stroller was moving, it was OK - but stop or slow to browse a rack and Axel was not having it. Next time I'll steal your trick and bring some cheddar bunnies, and hopefully Axel will be old enough to eat the cheddar bunnies.

re: Escape to the Mall

Melissa — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 16:05:38 GMT

Sounds like a successful outing. Michael still is not there yet. Snacks or no snacks, if the stroller stops, he thinks it's time to get out and wreak havoc.

re: Escape to the Mall

Eva — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 12:40:44 GMT

I remember first feeling like I could handle the solo major outing from the house, to the mall as well, in winter no less. What a freeing feeling! Still, better to have hubby in town and not have to, but great to know you can.

re: Please don't call my baby that.

April — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 17:46:09 GMT

I have no problem with the "Princess" type stuff. I am a pretty feminine princessy girl myself. I am anti sports though mostly because my husband is a total computer nerd. So when I was pregnant with twin boys I told people that I wanted to avoid sports stuff since it was doubtful that my boys would grow up to be jocks with a computer nerd as a father and a mommy who hated football. Well it was super hard not finding anything un sports related.

Yeah well now I will buy sports stuff if it is cheap and cute. I just stopped caring. I have the boys to care for now and I just could care less. I guess my priorities changed. Don't sweat the small stuff and all that. :P

re: Toys in the Attic

April — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 17:30:03 GMT

I don't have too much problem with duplicate toys or toy overload because I can always send any extras to my mother's house for her to keep for when the boys stay over there (makes it easier on me not having to pack toys and books each time they go there). My main problem is people giving us way age inappropriate toys. I know that 3+ toys are so much cooler, but still you are putting a baby in danger giving them items with small parts that could choke them to death.

I refuse to let them play with toys that might hurt them because they are 3+ and even though we have a large basement I also kinda refuse to hold on to toys for over 2 years too until they CAN play with them. My MIL wanted to give the 6 month old babies a tool bench with lots of small parts for 3+ for their first Christmas.....WHAT are these people thinking?! I never give toys out of age range to other people's kids so why does everyone think we won't care? I either regift them, donate them to charity or exchange them for something age appropriate. I am not turning my basement into toys r us. I did give up my dining room to be a playroom filled with toys for my twins. That was more for me though, I can stick them in there, close the gate and know they are safe within their childproof baby playroom prison and take a pee in peace. :)

re: Winter Getaway

April — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 15:33:10 GMT

I found it makes it a little easier to travel with twinsters if you only pack a few outfits and bibs and just do one load of laundry every day on your trip either at the hotel that has laundry facilities or at the house you are staying at. Also if you can buy diapers and wipes and baby food once you get to your destination that helps cut down on packing too. I traveled with my boys to Mississippi twice so far once at 5 months and once at 11 months in a sedan no less! All the other MOTs I know have giant SUVs and vans, I am the only one making it in a sedan. Go me! I think....I would rather have the van. :P

I also get the "Come visit with the twins" a lot from people. It irks me all the heck out. Even for just day trips or just a two hour trip to the grandparents close by takes hours of packing and loading and unloading then loading again. Then the whole time we are there we are chasing them around in a non childproof house and being miserable. I had inlaws tell me as we were making our fourth trip back to the car loading things up from our Christmas event at my MIL's house that "OH I know it is hard to get out with them, but come visit anyways." grrrr Like or you could get off your lazy butt and come visit us in our home where we don't have to worry about our kids pulling a giant vase over on themselves and pack for two hours! grrrr