Band on the Diaper Run

Good Airplane Parents = good for everyone

Bad Airplane Parents = bad for everyone

IMO, bad airplane parents are a little too centrally-focused and believe they trump everyone else. Not so! What happened to the common good?

And even more so now, with air flight becoming less and less enjoyable... :)

i don't think there's anything wrong with nicely telling the child behind you to stop kicking.  it's reality that people will bust you out for your even unintentional rudeness.  

Sometimes people decide you're a bad airplane parent even when you're trying EVERYTHING.  I had some totally awful women in front of me on a plane a few months ago.  My 20 month old was squirmy, uncooperative and loud.  He even hit the seats in front of him a lot.  Well, I did my best to keep him under control, but it didn't work, so we all had to suffer.  The women in front of me just talked loudly about how to "deal" with kids and gave me dirty looks through the cracks.  They had obviously spent no time with toddlers since everything they were talking about was stuff you'd use with a 5 year old.

Anyway, my point is, sometimes you just can't win.  I think it's good to be prepared with stuff for them to do and try to set limits, but it's really hard.  And sometimes it just SUCKS no matter what you do.  But guess what, we're adults and probably won't die if we have an annoying kid on the plane next to us for a couple hours out of our lives.

The booger hands would have bothered me a lot too.

tiffer is right - in the sense that IF a parent is trying really hard, has proven that they came prepared and the child just won't cooperate, EVERY parent will understand their horrible situation.  However, IF a parent comes to a plane with a child, no entertainment, no Tylenol and no extreme measures of delightfully unhealthy snacks, they are HORRIBLY irresponsible.  Kori is 110% correct in her observations of GAP and BAP.  BAP are representative of our society - people just don't give a crap for the common good anymore.

I have been very lucky I have a great flying child. She knows there are things we can't do and I am exhausted trying to keep her occupied... I have always apologized to the person in front when my child  or myself has kicked the seat. Then I say that we need to be respectful to others. I don't think my daughter understood what I was saying but it made the person in front at least feel like I cared about them.

I don't think you sound bitchy at all. Your expectations about  parenting are completely reasonable and make perfect sense--BAPs aren't just like that on airplanes, either. They're in restaurants, parks, playgrounds, malls--everywhere. These people are (and probably always have been) self-centered and don't really give a rat's rear end about what their kids are doing or how it impacts anyone else in the vicinity--and there are a lot of them. People always remark about how well-behaved my daughter is, and it's all I can do to keep from saying "That's because I've taken the time to teach her not to act like a wild animal in public." I just smile and say thanks instead.

Gooch.. I just wanted to add that not every parent is necessarily sympathetic with you if they don't think you are doing enough to control your kid.  They  sometimes forget what kids are like during certain stages of their development and expect them to act like an older child.  Also, if you have parents who believe in spanking or smacking your child's hands will assume that you're not doing "enough" to control your child.  

My bad experience that I reference in my earlier post has obviously had a big impact on me!!  We've flown multiple times with our son and this was the worst one I'd ever been on.  We always come prepared with proper toys, snacks and books...  but sometimes it just doesn't work.  ah well.  I know I'm doing my best in these situations.  

just flew today w/my 19 mo old, so this is timely. She is usually great, just inconsolible today. No snacks, toys, books, singing, etc were helping and she was getting very tempermental and kicking the seat hard. The sad fact was that she was soooo tired and could not sleep in her car seat in the noisy plane. Of course she was kicking the seat of a mean-tempered older man. He didn't seem to care that we were doing everything possible to get her to calm down. At that point I didn't care... if he was jerk enough to say something mean to us despite hearing that we were trying really hard then I stopped caring about his seat and focused solely on my daughter. I know if you're not a parent it's hard to understand but how can anyone with half a mind look at a child under 2 and think that they are deliberately trying to annoy another passenger with kicking a seat?

I totally agree with you about the G.A.P and the B.A.P. I was recently stuck on a 7 hour transatlantic flight with my 10 month old baby and we got stuck next to these horrible people with 2 kids a 3 year old and a 6 month old. We had one seat for me and my baby and they had 2 seats for 1 adult and the 2 kids. The dad who was supposed to take care of the kids fell asleep within minutes of the plane taking off and the 3 year old, who was picking her nose every time I looked at her, was trying to touch and kiss my baby and kept throwing food and stuff on us.

I was counting down the hours until we landed and I the flight attendant came to me at the end of the flight and said " you must be relieved this is finally over" and gave a side glance at the B.A.P.

dk1038, i feel your pain... i just landed for a visit with the grandparents last night.  two hours on a plane with a screaming 16 month old is birth control in itself.  i seriously looked at my husband and uttered the words,  "from now on, we're buying an extra ticket so she can have her own seat, i don't fricking care how much it costs".  i'm not sure that having her own seat would have necessarily helped though.  i spent the majority of the plane ride with her in the back singing songs and talking with the attendants.

finally, i remembered the Yo Gabba Gabba dvd i made and played it for her on the laptop.    thank God for those creatures, because it quieted her down for about 20 min.

Kori,  we are such fans of that show and Mates of State.  we can't wait to read your next post about the filming and to watch you for ourselves!!

OMG the Seat Kicker...SO not a fan!!!!!  I'm dreading the thought that one of my kids may turn into That Kid. If so I intend to be the GAP. The last flight we were on -- an 8-hour British Airways transatlantic affair -- had some attendants who didn't put up with any guff from kids or parents.  All of us families were lumped together in one section of the plane and it could have gotten very ugly. The attendants set a couple of families straight. I was so grateful to them.....

You guys sound like some of the best GAP's and I can't wait to see what you did with the Yo Gabba Gabba folks!  We frick'n love that show.

Side comment first: You rocked sweaty St. Louis last night!  I don't get many chances with a 19 mo old to go to concerts these days, and it was so worth the buckets of sweat.  I don't know how you do it on tour with the littlest one...I just returned from my little boy's first airplane experience (12 hours of travel time on two separate days).  He is a runner, not walker, so trying to get him to do anything but wander the plane was impossible, not to mention the ear pressure that made him scream each time we descended.  I think we were GAP, I even had other passengers comment afterwards that they know how hard it is.  I think it was the shell-shocked look on my face after we landed that brought on the sympathy.  See you next time around...keep up the amazing work!

Ha ha ha ha ha.  This is a great story!  Love it.  Love it.