Band on the Diaper Run

Guess you don't really read your blogs, you just want to complain about life on the road.  Not many people can relate....now the bat that's another story.  

Well I haven't been there, but my husband and I are planning on travelling a lot with our kids when we have them. Since public school doesn't like kids who miss a lot of class (I have friends who are teachers, and you can't blame them for worrying about the kid who never knows what's going on in class), and good montessori or non-traditional schools are hard to find, we plan on home-schooling for a while. Of course this is definitely dependant upon your child's personality, and yours, but I think it might be a good match for your family since you are so frequently traveling!

I was in movies when I was Mags' age and I LOVED IT. I also loved school, but I missed a lot of school for filming and traveling. When I got back, I caught up. I brought some work with me on the road and did the worksheets with my mom's guidance. I was lucky to have teachers and a school that understood and worked with our family. So maybe check with some schools and see if they will accomodate your situation? Having to catch up all the time gave me one hell of a work-ethic, so there could be benefits there too. ;)

Just a few ideas on what I plan to do, and what worked for me. I hope you find the right school for your family and remember that you can always change your mind if the fit isn't perfect.

I'm not a parent, yet (my wife is due with our first in May though!), but it sounded like you were curious about feedback about Montessori in general, so I thought I'd chime in.

My sister went there, after traditional pre-school, for about 3-4 years. After that we had to move and she had to change to public school.

She was very happy in Montessori, but the transition to public school was difficult. The public school itself was excellent, but the different approach Montessori takes in their curriculum proved to be challenging to transition from. So my sister had to spend a lot of time after school catching up on subjects (especially math) that they hadn't quite gotten to in her Montessori curriculum.

Thanks for coming to the show.  We've got a bit up from them (including a new song, and a crazy beautiful version of Gillian Welch's "Winter's Come and Gone") at sparetherock.com/.../our-chat-with-elizabeth-mitchell.html.

On the school question: we did Montessori preschool with our son and then moved him to the day school at Smith College.  Our daughter, who was playing with Mags after the show, did a cooperative preschool before we moved here, and then was at the Smith school.

Montessori was great, but by the time Liam was 4, he seemed a lot like he was done with that approach and he's done great in the somewhat more traditional (though still not rigid) approach at the campus school.  At least at the Montessori school here, they are very thoughtful and skilled with that transition.  We looked fairly carefully at the outcomes on Montessori kids, and they as a whole did a very nice job in transitions elsewhere -- but it varies *a lot* from school to school, too.  There are very different flavors of Montessori, as I understand it (which is admittedly minimal).

It's pretty tough in any context (public or private) to do a lot of travel, though it seems more manageable in kindergarten and first grade than beyond that.  It's just tough to miss chunks of the curriculum, especially when it's building on past work.  We have friends who do a ton of traveling (on par with what you do) and are homeschooling.  But the decision to homeschool at least in part resulted in the traveling rather than the other way around, I think.

And I'll echo some other thoughts: Do what feels right and makes you and your kids happy.  There are lots of ways to learn, and you're not committing to anything permanently.

Great comment Diane.

My wife taught at Montessori for a few years and the most important part i finding the "right" school for the kids.  Make sure your personal philosophy of parenting matches the philosophy of the school.  

The school she worked in believed that you should never say "no" to a child, which we think is a bit..well, off.  Visit the school, find out their philosophy, observe a class, talk to the parents groups.  If the other parents are WAY different than you guys, RUN!  

From what I can tell about how you guys rock it and how well-adjusted Magnolia seems, she will do just fine where ever she attends.  Montessori offers a good alternative, but as another "poster" offered, transitioning into a typical setting after Montessori may be a difficult transition.

WHATEVER you do, make sure that you are involved in the classroom, parent groups, PTA, pick the kids up and ask questions.  NOTHING is more important than taking an active role in education and day-to-day at the school.

Be Well.

I don't believe you can start Montessori at age five. I know the one where my mom taught didn't allow that. They want you to go through the whole program. With that said, I believe Montessori schools are some of the best. So if you can get her in then go for it.  

Not a parent, so I have no clue about schools.  Except it seems like a school as nice and as (I assume) expensive as Montessori is might have some sort of "traveling tutor" program.  You can't be the only family interested in that school that is on the road a lot.

Anyway, the real reason I commented was this:

"I just want her to be happy really."

Anybody who has seen a single picture you've taken of Mags knows that that is one happy, happy kid.

Looking forward to seeing you guys in Dallas in April.

Wow, I actually have to say I have to agree with the commenter who suggested homeschooling, and I am not a huge proponent of homeschooling.  I think you are asking a lot of the school to be totally understanding of taking your kid out for weeks at a time.  There are lots of homeschooling communities in CT and they are not all religious at all.  I know there's a significant one in Guilford and I'm sure you'd find another in Fairfield county.  It never occurred to me that this would be a problem but I can see that a school might not love that.  I think CT schools are pretty strict and they have to take lots of tests...your school administrator will not like kids missing the tests.  

I think kids adjust to things all the time and if she's young enough could totally adjust from Montessori after a few years.  

I would definitely look toward an environment where you don't get flack from the teachers, even if its not public or not perfect.  I can't imagine that would be a great way to start her primary education.  

BTW, our Montessori school does take kids older than preschool. It's a manageable adjustment, I think.

I don't have kids, but I did attend both Montessori (Pre-school through the beginning of 6th grade) and public school (6th grade through high school). My brother thrived at Montessori, but it was actually pretty much a disaster for me. It all depends on how much structure she needs. I learn very poorly without it, so I'm still struggling to fill the major gaps that were left as a result. My public elementary school experience was amazing.

Good luck!

Wow, you all have great advice and a range in perspectives, exactly what I was hoping for.  Thanks for all of your comments.  

Diane, if you are the same Diane from a previous post about Montessori, I really appreciated your advice before.  I do read everything people write here. (And I hope not all I do is complain about life on the road.)

Bill, thanks for the great show and yes, the school we looked at is ready and willing to let Mags come to their school at 5-if we are ok with it. Just can't figure that part out.

Sadie, I wish I could tell ahead of time if Mags needs a lot of structure.  I thought Montessori was known for helping all learning styles, so it's great to see a different point of view on that.

Jon,  that's what I am worried about-a transition later on and again, I'm surprised to hear someone say there was a catch up period in public school..it seems like most of the Montessori schools are ahead in a lot of ways.  Maybe not.

And everyone else, thank you too.   I should add that I have written to the  town board of ed and explained our situation to see what they would allow...also, fyi we do have limits on taking Mags out for only a week here, a week there but not months at a time.

And, that the Montessori seems fine with our lifestyle so far and said they'd send work with us.  I hope we can afford it.

One potential problem I have with the Montessori is that she would be with 3, 4 and 5 year olds.  Maybe that's fine but maybe it's too all over the place when she's already been through preschool. Thoughts?

Ann, Real Housewives of Orange County, same Ann? ha

I am having trouble posting back to all of you, I should take a computer class once and for all. So, this might be a double post.

Anyway, I appreciate all of your thoughts and advice, especially the ones who have dealt with both types of schools firsthand.  I guess I still don't know what the best environment is for Mags considering our lifestyle but we are visiting all types of schools.

I've written to the board of ed to see what our public schools will do about the traveling life..which I should also note, has limits.  We only take Mags out for a week here, a week there...never a month at a time and always timed with her vacations.  

Thanks again..and I DO read all of these comments otherwise I wouldn't ask for free advice.

I don't have any words of wisdom or great advice like some of the others, but just wanted to reiterate the fact that "Anybody who has seen a single picture you've taken of Mags knows that that is one happy, happy kid."

It seems Magnolia learns a wide range of different things at home and on the road with you two that no school, public or private, will be able to rival. That type of experience is so unique and I don't think she (or June in the future) would fall behind an enormous amount if taken out for a week every so often. Good luck making the decision!

Kori,

I am not a parent yet, but I agree with what Andrea said.  The fact that you took your young child to the Met, a hockey game, and music concert within the span of a few days (if not the same day) is worth more than words and will help to educate her in ways that school just cannot.  

My parents were a lot like you and Jason (on a family trip to New York, we saw two operas at the Lincoln Center in the afternoon and went to Yankee Stadium that night for a ball game), and I cannot tell you how much that helped to shape my sisters and I in positive ways....experiences sometimes educate more than classrooms can.

Regardless of what you decide, I am sure it will work out for the best.  She is lucky to have parents that put so much thought into this decision.

Good luck!

On the issue of the age range, that was one of my concerns (albeit from the other direction) about Montessori, but it ended up being handled really well, at least at our school.  The older kids had distinct work from the younger kids, but also had great and helpful interactions -- helping both the younger and the older kids.  But, again, I think it varies a lot how well it's handled...

Kori,

First off, I have been to about a "kazzilion" (not a real word) of your shows in Sacramento, San Fran, and even Oregon. Every time I see your shows, I usually see Mags somewhere, and she never looks unhappy (even when she was just a little thing with her over sized ear phones on); and from reading your blogs, you seem to always be enriching her life somehow. So you shouldn't at all feel as though you are making her life unhappy.

That being said, I have no children, but I am good friends with a family, much like yours. They are very involved with their children and wanted to find a school that would be flexible and still allow time for creativity and exploration rather than just sitting in a chair all day staring at a chalkboard.

I am not sure if you are familiar with Waldorf schools, but I love the concept behind it. At the Waldorf school in Sacramento, ample time is put aside to traditional learning, but they have other awesome extracurricular activities for the children to explore.  They even have a "petting zoo" with cows, chickens, and other various critters. The children get to plant their own fruits and vegetables in an outdoor garden. The little kid I know loves the school so much and talks about it all the time.

And the school goes up to 8th grade, so you wont really have to worry about a transition until high school and I have heard that it isn't that difficult to transition at that age. I went to public school and massively hated it. I would have loved to go to a school like this that isn't all about standardized tests and actually focuses on the child.  

If you are unfamiliar with them their link is:

www.whywaldorfworks.org

and they have a school in Connecticut: (don't know if it is in your area)

http://www.waldorfct.org/

I hope that this information proves remotely helpful in your quest to find a great learning environment for you and your kids.

Have a great day! see you on the road.

Hi I just wanted to say one more thing.  I personally think its not a big deal when kids leave school for a week and do something with their folks.  especially kids like Magnolia who is clearly learning a lot on her own and with her family, not sitting at home or in an unstimulating environment.  I just also know that public schools are incredibly touchy about attendance, due to No Child Left Behind, etc.  Its totally different than it was in my private school 25 years ago.  And while kindergarten might not be bad, I wonder if its worse in the later grades.  A lot of teachers don't understand.  They have 26 kids and they can't or won't do special work for kids.  Its not fair or good, but it may be a fact of life.  In fact, it makes me sad, really.  Kori, glad to hear you have been in touch with the board of ed and maybe you will get better results than i hear about from other districts (obviously, not too many people in your specific situation!)

Sarah,

Funny, before I read your post I set up an appointment to see the CT Waldorf school. I'm almost already sold except for the 40 minute drive to get there.  I think unfortunatly, that might be the deciding factor.  But, I'm still gonna check it out. In theory it fits Mags to a tee.

Jen, (and everyone else who cares)  I just went to another public school, liked the school. Then the principal winced at us when I explained our traveling family situation and told me to look at the truancy laws in CT-which I found to say that if a child has an unexcused absence more than 4 times a month or 10 times a year, the parents have broken the law.  I can't believe how public schools have to run based on that.  I know Mags will do fine no matter what but it's hard to vote public ed all the way when I can't live the life I want to live..I guess I want the best of both worlds.

And, after visitng 3 school all Mags can say is,  "I want to go to the Montessori one because I can knit and make Popouri there."

We see a Magnet school tomorrow and then Waldorf on Saturday.  I'm sure I'll be posting after that.

I live in CT and although I only have a 12 week old, I have already joined a local home/unschooling group.  We met today, actually and I can't wait to teach my child at home.  I went to public AND private school and turned out okay but was pretty socially traumatized.  Does the thought of unschooling Mags and June don't jive well with you?  They seem to be doing some GREAT lifelearning on the road with you guys already....

Good luck!  Whatever you choose (and I firmly believe this, whether it be homeschooling, Waldorf, Montessori, public, etc.) your girls are going to be fine young ladies.  

I noticed that you haven't mentioned homeschooling as an option in your replies on this thread.  Does that mean you aren't even considering it?

I only ask because we are going to be homeschooling our daughter, Lily.  Not for religious reasons, but simply because we too want to "live the life we want to live".  :)

We currently live in Orlando, Florida but are originally from Cincinnati, Ohio.  Starting this May, we will be living six months here, six months there (spending the nasty winter in the south!).  We laugh at the fact that we will be the youngest "snowbirds" coming south for the winter!! With our jobs (I'm a sign language interpreter for the deaf, and he has a home based business) we are able to live anywhere that we want.  I am wanting Lily to grow up knowing her extended family that still lives up north.

Anyway, I'm anxious to hear what you decide.  I am beginning to research laws and exactly how we are going to live out our dream.  I know that it seems crazy to some, but who ever said there was only one way to raise a kid?  I like the idea of not being the typical/traditional family....similar to how you and Jason live your lives with the girls.  

Whatever you decide, always know that if it doesn't work out, you can change your mind.  That is what parenting is, afterall... a lot of trial and error. :)

Best of luck!

wow, this is becomming a real discussion and I totally appreciate it..

The real reason I haven't mentioned homeschooling is that I am worried about Mags social development if we homeschool.  She is around adults all the time as it-on the road. So I thought school, of some kind, would at least give her that on a regular (or semi-regular) basis.

However, the more I read about homeschooling and unschooling, it seems like people network enough to give their children social opportunities.

Honestly I wonder if I would be a good enough parent to homeschool effectively.. it seems like a lot of responsibility even though we do a lot to educate Mags (and June) already at home.

I'm interested in this. Even more so I'm interested in people who do a little of both..some school, some homeschool. But, I haven't been able to find a lot of  info on that.  If anyone recommends a place to search lemme know.

Kori

I went to Montessori school through 6th grade, and I was well prepared for traditional middle school. The difference in class sizes and the community feel were the biggest transitions for me, but I was ready for them. I would definitely recommend Montessori for Mags. She seems like just the outgoing, curious kid that would thrive at a Montessori school. The adjustment for Mags going into a primary classroom should probably not be a problem for her. The great thing about Montessori is that you truly are able to work at your own pace, and she would be learning at her own level (if that's what you're wondering about). My Montessori years bring fond memorie of a time where I looked forward to school each day. Anyways I just wanted to put my two cents in. Mags is such a creative, engaging kid, she will be fine anywhere you decide!

Good luck!

www.borntoexplore.org/bc

Good luck.  This is a tough decision and I applaud you and your family for trying to find something really good for all of you.  Your kids are young enough that you will do right by them and if it doesn't work out, there's lots of time to get it right!  and of course, no one wants you to NOT tour!

My friend who homeschools has a huge network and I think social engagement is not a problem.  I myself could never do it but it might work out really well for you guys.  

So... I have to comment. I'm an elementary school teacher.

It would be IDEAL to have your child in a school (and i like public because that's where I teach), and be able to take curriculum with you on the road.

However, being in and out of class, I think, would prove hard on Mags, especially as she gets older. Here one week, gone the next.. it's hard for kids to adjust socially to that as well as with the schoolwork. If you find a school and teacher who is willing to work with you on that, that's awesome. However, don't forget how that will hurt her socially. Kids are socially and environmentally resilient when they are young, but become less so as they get older.

I do, also, want to stress the homeschooling bit. I think you guys already do this, in the many ways you educate your children on the road and at home. Why not just supplement what you're already doing with a curriculum of Reading, Writing, and Math?

As for social bits, providing both of your daughters with friends of all ages is a gift. I know it is difficult to find and keep friends if you are homeschooling and in and out of town... but I'm sure there is a homeschool group in your area that would welcome you and her when you can.

have you researched the university model school system? it is half home school, half school school. i taught in one in austin, tx, and loved it! check naums.org to see if there is one near you.

xoxoxoxoxo i love mos

-katie

Awesome discussion, and we are starting to research these very topics as we contemplate our move back to the US - especially considering that we are looking at moving to a rural setting, and don't want to go the traditional learning route.  Considering that my wife is Chinese, and we will be working to develop our own farm (with several months of downtime in the off-season), we are planning on spending most of the winter in China with the kids (so that they are close to their Chinese roots).  Being out of the US for 2-3 months at a time would spell real trouble in any traditional school, and we were wary of full-time home-school because of the socialization aspect - especially if we will be in a farm setting with few neighbors.  

Honestly we are not really concerned about curriculum (well, we are to a certain extent in that we have long-term goals for levels of proficiency in math, science, reading and languages) because we really want to dedicate a majority of our time exploring non-traditional subjects.  The goal is to give our two kids as much exposure as possible to what they can do in the real world.  The idea is to help them find something to be truly passionate about, which in my case was something I didn't find until the late age of 32.  This is honestly one of the reasons why we wanted to start our own farm - to be surrounded by the family as much as possible, and to be as active as possible in their development.

So, how to balance learning objectives, extended visits outside the US and socialization?  We really don't have an answer right now, I just wanted to share with you that it sounds like we have similar issues, and similar desires for finding what is best for our kids.  I look forward to your updates as hopefully it will help us with our own kids.  In closing I did just want to say that those who tell you that taking your kids on the road with you would hinder their development in any way really don't know what they are talking about, and I know that whatever they are exposed to 'on the road' would be WAY more developmental than any classroom experience (not to mention the joy of having your kids along with you while you do something that you love).  School boards be damned!

What in the world??  Yvette just pointed me here--WOW!  It's great to see what you are up to!!  Yvette told me to comment as i started homeschooling this year and it has been an amazing experience for our family.  Warning:  I love homeschooling and it has been a great fit for me.  The public schools do a great service for our society and I do not believe the homeschooling is the right solution for every family.  That said, here's my 2 cents:

Everyone talks about socialization being a key issue when you homeschool, but I do not find that to be the case if the parent is a well-adjusted, socially competent person--like you!  We have found that our kids have more opportunity to interact with kids their own ages and of different age groups than a school setting could ever offer.  We are part of a great support group where we share ideas and plan group field trips and learning activities.  We also take classes at the museum and through other organizations.  I find the fact that my kids are able to interact easily with several different groups of people, (like themselves and very unlike themselves) evidence that my kids are socialized far better than most who spend the majority of their time with peers who are of the same age and socio-economic profile.  After experiencing it, I find it almost laughable that so many people worry about this aspect of homeschooling.  I would not spend any time worrying about whether or not your kids will be properly socialized if you homeschool.  

Secondly, I've found that educating my kids has enriched my relationship with them and has deeply affected the way they interact with one another.  I've fallen in love with my kids in a whole new, and much deeper way.

The fact that your children receive a 1:1 or 1:2 ratio is very advantageous, as you will know when they are ready to move forward with new material and you will also have the flexibility to spend a little more time on skills that need more polishing.  Because of this, it usually takes far less time to cover the same material than it would if the child was learning in a room with 24 other kids.  If your child shows a particular talent or interest in one area, you can focus on that.  No one is going to be more invested in their well-being and progress as you.  You can pack their school materials with them when you travel.

In my mind, the goal of homeschooling is to not only teach them facts, dates and formulas, but to teach them how to live.  You will have the opportunity to truly shape your children and ignite in them a passion for learning like no other person could--because you know them like no other person ever will.  By investing in them, they will learn one lesson very clearly; they are your priority and you enjoy sharing your life with them.

For me, a key issue if you choose to homeschool is to find a curriculum style that excites you.  If part of your curriculum is a poor fit, then find something that fills the same purpose, but in a different way.    

I would be wary of trying to do 1/2 and 1/2, as this will make things very complicated.  If your kids are used to doing in-depth topical studies (i.e.-China, plants, etc) that also covers the basics (phonics, math, language, reading, etc), they will find a classroom frustrating and possibly very boring.  The 1st thought that comes to mind is the saying that you can't serve 2 masters.  By working through the school system, you forfeit one of the greatest benefits of homeschooling--flexibility.  This will probably also require meticulous record-keeping and impeccable organizational skills to keep up with all the minute details and paperwork that will be required.  That varies state by state, but here it is not such an easy task.

Well, you know me--I've always got an opinion.  I am sure that what you decide will be the right solution for your family and for your kids.  I can't believe we are old enough to have kids in school!!  I'd love to catch up on what you have been doing since KU!

Thanks <b>jennifer</b>, that was the exact advice I was looking for in deciding whether homeschool was right for us.