Band on the Diaper Run

I feel your pain! My 8 year old is way into music he plays the drums and and is starting to play the guitar and I feel guilty because this is how he was brought up both his dad and I are musicians at heart and music fanatics so he grew up listening to our kind of music but now that he is in second grade his teacher has told us that he needs to be in a special social program to help him find kids of like minds or socialize with kids in general because he can't seem to find common ground with other kids his age.

He also has chronic asthma so he does miss a bunch of school and it has been a yearly battle with the school district coming down on us and making us feel guilty because he misses so much school, even though he is at the top of his class and he could technically skip the rest of second grade, skip the third grade and go straight to fourth, so it is frustrating to hear that because he misses so much school his grades will suffer and he will fall behind.

He goes to a public school in a suburb of Seattle, it is a great school but I do wish we could find a private school that caters to children that are musically driven and like to be challenged and somehow would be given extra credit for going to shows! Wouldn't that be lovely.......

BTW Mates of State was the first concert we all got to see together as a family and the show you played last May in Bend Oregon was the second concert the kids got to see as a family, maybe you remember a little girl in pig tails in the front row singing along to every song...that was us! Except for the rain it was a great show, so keep doing what you do your heart always will tell you what is best for your children.

My parents sent my brother and I to public school, and while the quality varied from year to year depending on which teacher we got, we consistently excelled.  I was always the more creative minded and my brother completely into math/science, but with the foundation at school my parents supplemented everything at home.  We did science experiments, drawing lessons, origami villages, and language games whether we were at the kitchen table, in the car, or in line at a restaurant.  My parents took jobs with strange hours so they could be home with us when we were home from school.  I can honestly say our successes are directly related to how much time we spent with our parents.  When we were interested in something they would study up and help us, or get us the outside care we wanted--like when I wanted to learn to play guitar.  School is important, but the mental stimulation you get from your parents cannot be replaced and I genuinely believe it carried me all the way through graduating UCLA summa cum laude.  Don't let establishment rules derail unconventional, yet extremely valuable experiences.  I regret the experiences I missed with my parents at movie sets, under circus tents, and at stage shows when I was trapped at school.  There's not one single day of missed class I wish I could get back.

On a non-school related note: Any chance of hearing "As Night As Now" on the upcoming tour?  Especially at the LA show :-)

I met Jason a few years back at your Northampton, MA stripped down show. I write and illustrate children's books and gave you a copy of 'Punk Farm' and 'Punk Farm on Tour'. I travel the country a lot visiting all sorts of schools, giving talks about being an author and illustrator. I visited a Montessori school in Boston in January and got a really good vibe from the place. The kids seemed to get a lot of attention from their teachers. But I don't have any first hand experience myself, we just had our first baby 2 months ago. And we plan on taking her with us when I have book tour. She's already been to a few events. So your blog has been a great inspiration!

Best,

Jarrett

Hi! Love you guys, have seen you play every single time you have come to florida. Also am friends with two random bands that opened for you along the way. Anyway. I am an art teacher at a private school, so first thing is i think for sure that one of the things private schools should offer as a p.r. point at the least, is art. I am an artist and Musician, and I totally see that your daughter already is, just by the things you over hear her saying and mention. i don't know what i would have done without art as one of my classes growing up. It helped me maintain my sanity for the rest of the classes i dreaded. As far as the Montessori thing, i work at a school that uses applied scholastics, and what i have learned from that is, any teaching style that a school offers is going to be specific, and if you switch mid-learning experience it can creates gaps in the education, just because the curriculum is different. So i would say you do have to choose as soon as they start about first grade you kinda have to know that you definitely want a certain style of teaching to be implemented from that point on. Of course, and dare i say, alot of it is just DNA. And you guys have it, so i am sure if you taught June only the notes in a scale and the alphabet, she would turn out awesome.

Hi Kori,

I'm a graduate of a preschool through grade 8 Waldorf school, here to put in a good word for the Waldorf experience. I understand the drive will probably be the deciding factor, as it probably should be, but I would absolutely recommend a Waldorf school to any parent who wants the arts integrated into education.

I transitioned smoothly to public high school when the time came, and will always be grateful for the personal attention and creativity that Waldorf afforded me as a small child.

That said, I also think Sarah's comments are extremely true- there certainly are students who do not excel in Waldorf school like any other, but I think what a school lacks can and should be balanced by the parents and the community.

I hope this helps, good luck with the decision, and I love your music!

I work at a montessori school and I feel pretty good about the arts programs we have. I would say that expression and individualism are two things that montessori strongly supports.

I vote no on the driving 80 min a day.

Hi Kori,

Thanks for posting your thought process as you decide on a school.  Since I'm going through the preschool search, it's helpful to see how someone else is deciding.  Your mom told me about how you picked Mag's preschool and I visited it, but I'm still trying to decide.  I can't choose!

Kori,

What an amazing discussion you started! Our daughter Hazel started at the public Montessori magnet school here in Lansing Michigan last year and she loves it. It's not as rigid as some of the more traditional, private Montessori schools, so she gets lots of music, art, computers, plus the benefits of all the hands on work and she can work at her own pace.  It's an incredibly diverse environment. She will be six in April and we plan on keeping her there until she moves on to middle school. Though, that could change, as there is a "performing arts" magnet in the district and Hazel is definitely a performer.

I have to agree with those comments that have encouraged you to follow your heart, to trust your instincts, your intuition, and to balance that with your needs.  When my family met you guys in Grand Rapids after the show at Calvin College, it was sooooo obvious that your family is HEALTHY, HAPPY, and Mags and June will be the better because they are with you and Jason.

I think through this we can all agree that you have to find the school that first off-fits your child and your family.  

And second (or maybe equally first)-find one that is practical (cost, travel, etc)

Ideally..if the Waldorf was close, it'd be best for us.  We are looking at 2 more schools now.  One is probably out of our price range but they offer financial aid.

Jacklynn, I can't believe the district in a sense, comes down on people for who they are.  Honestly, it's so frustrating.  But, I can understand their goal is to educate everyone to the standards.  Good to hear I'm not alone though. I do remember your little pigtailed girl singing!

Cara, you are right. Magnolia is an artist.  I am certain of this.  She spent over 12 hours in the last few days learning to sew and has made letters for her imaginary friends (whom she drew pictures of) that say, "I hope this (art project) makes your eyes all glow, children" I don't talk like that btw, it's all her. And June, already is way more physically minded and independent. And, I know, we need to pick one philosophy and stick to it.

Jarrett, we love your books !! It's funny-Mags asked me the other day if everyone is in a band someday.  The book is so relatable to her.

Luna, I wish I could send her to Waldorf.  It's amazing.

Sarah, I think you should print out your comment and send it to your parents. I would be so happy if Magnolia and June wrote that about us someday. I feel the same way they did...being present at home and finding engaging activities that match my kids' interests are very important to us.  At this point I can't evern remember how "As Night as Now" goes.. Maybe I should spend more  time on playing  and less on school choice freak out.

Jeff-do you have a separate arts program at your Montessori or is it just another part of the indepedent work going on in the classes?

KCoble, Contact me if you need advice on the local preschool thing. I can tell you what most parents think is best around here.  I did my research on that 2 years ago and Mags loves her preschool (and oddly enough I didn't pick the one that everyone raved about)  I think you have to go with your gut and your daughter's personality on that.  (I'm trying to take that advice myself)

Thanks agian all!

Karl,

I'd be interested to see what your school says about the way music and art is integrated with the Montessori model.  (So I can go tell the school we might go to about it)

Hazel is a wonderful child so if that's any indication that Montessori is great, (along with excellent parenting) I should listen to you.  I wish Hazel and Mags could go to school together :)

hope mags has her stuff at the dallas show =)

Aaaaah---the PRESSURE!!  I have a daughter that's almost 4 and we've been trying to look ahead a little and find a school that's heavy into the arts and encourages learning to play an instrument and a foreign language while they're so young and soak everything up so easily.  I've found that a lot of the school around here are college-prep oriented---which I can't disagree with, since both my husband and I are college grads, but they do tend to stick to the basics more and leave out the arts, which I think are equally (if not more) important for a balanced, happy life.  Especially if you've got an imaginative kid who spends her days drawing more pictures than your fridge has space for, dancing around in dress-up clothes, and asking you to 'come to her concert so she can sing you the song she just made up.'  I think it's kind of sad that we can customize our cars, houses, phones, etc. to completely fit our personalities and lifestyles, but schools expect our kids to all learn the same things, at the same pace, etc.  Thanks for posting about this---I am eagerly awaiting your final choice (and then your thoughts on it as the schooling progresses) so I can get some ideas.

Kori, I think you are on the right track, even if its a little more expensive.  I am glad you are finding a good compromise.  

As a non-creative person I kind of envy you and Jason having so much confidence in yourself and your desires for your kids.  They are going to be awesome no matter what because their parents love and care about them.

PS:  what are those beads that Magnolia made her dolphins out of?  my daughter (a bit younger) would like them.

Mandy,

I know.  individuality is so important.  I think it's hard for teachers to meet the individual personalities of every kid.  I've always thought one way to  improve public schools is to put the funding into small teacher:student ratios so teachers could focus on each child's personality and learning needs more easily.  With 20+ kids and one adult, and just one year together, they have to teach to the group a lot of the time-not always bad but it definitely teaches more conformity. totally agree with you.

Jen,

Those are purler beads (my spelling is no good).  Craft stores sell them but maybe target too?  BTW, they are good for occupying lots of time. Mags learned to use them at camp last summer and she cried whenever there wasn't enough time to finish hers.

what about going to a public school (or private for that matter) and having a tutor come with you on tour? i think i saw somewhere on here that you have a nanny go with you - could that nanny be an out of work teacher who can continue lessons while your gone. this teacher could even have the lesson plans of your daughters teacher allowing her to jump right in when she returns to school.

also i'm not a fan of Montessori. i use to work at a nature center and when Montessori kids came in no one wanted to teach them because they were always bad. the teachers let them do whatever they wanted - no discipline or structure. they didn't pay attention, talk out of turn, didn't raise their hands and were generally not fun. just my opinion though. also i've heard Montessori kids have a hard time transitioning to regular high schools.

~Abby

Kori! Long time, no talk! Your little ones are so sweet! I had a student at my old public school who traveled a bunch and we figured out a way that the family could swing it without it adversely affecting her "records." I was fully confident that the family was supporting the kid educationally, and thought that the travel and worldly exposure the kid was getting was no contest with school, so I totally supported it. They withdrew their kid from school and re-enrolled when they returned. Not sure if that will work for you guys, but thought I'd pass it along.

**allisyn

I went to Montessori school through 6th grade, and at my school the arts were definitely a major part of the school. We had instruments like bells and tone bars, and small drums, etc, for the music part. Visual arts wise, we were constantly doing art projects, either individually or in a small group. I have many funny things hanging around still, from painted world maps that we drew, to Day of The Dead skeletons we made out of clay and painted, and plaster mask we made of our faces. The great thing about Montessori, especially as you get older, you are able to come up with a project by yourself (no matter how random) and then plan a trip to the art store, and then go for it. My father works as an artist, and I know that the creativity aspect of Montessori education really appealed to him. Every Montessori school is a little different I think, but I'm sure Mags will be a pro paper mache-er, at the end of her Montessori career...

I went to Montessori school through 8th grade, and I was very creative and artistic growing up with two parents who liked to paint, sketch, sing, and write. Arts and crafts were a part of our school day, as were singalongs - we made some great projects that I came home wanting to try.  But I don't know if that would have been obvious as a visitor, because we set aside particular times for arts during the year and school day.  I credit Montessori with allowing me to nurture my creativity because of the free structure.  If I had finished my work, I could do what I liked - including make art - and I could sit down with my sketchpad at recess instead of swinging or running.   And I really appreciated being able to learn at my own speed.

I went to a private kindergarten, and I learned how to read there. I can remember being in 3rd grade and helping my classmates go through Hooked on Phonics and thinking that the books we had in class were way too easy to read. I would agree it's easier to miss a week of kindergarten then upper levels, but I'll also say it's important.

Does the Waldorf school have a bus option? Even if you live outside of the area where the bus runs, many times you can get the closest stop assigned to you. I went to an amazing school that was about 45 minutes from where I lived, but a bit longer by school bus. When I started Kindergarten, my parents would drive me to my stop and wait with me in the car until the bus came, but I soon would go play with my friends at the bus stop while the parents took turns watching us. I rode the bus from the time I was in Kindergarten until I was a sophomore in high school and I made really great friends from riding it. It was also one of the only time where I would interact with children from other grades. If the Waldorf school is ideal for you but the travel is a problem, perhaps look into this or if there are other children that go to the Waldorf school near you for carpool. I know my parents had the same issue of distance, but if the school is really for you, there may be options to make it work.

How about hiring a nanny (like you usually do) who is also a teacher and could home school the little ladies!!?? You can always supplement social activities when you're back home with extra curricular for the girls and put them in 'real school' when they're a bit older.

So feel your pain.  This was a source of months of misery for us, even without the added logistics of figuring a way to tour.  I considered the same kinds of options for my son (who is a huge fan of yours, by the way).  Just so you know, Montessori has several national and international bodies each of which is slightly different in interpreting the legacy of Maria Montessori.  The most traditional Montessori model does not emphasize or even foster "imaginative play" (make believe/ dressup corner you might know from most preschools). They are often lovely schools, with beautiful materials, caring teachers, etc, but the most traditional Montessoris can be a hard match for extremely creative kids in the lowest age group especially.  Each activity (they insist on calling it "work") is meant to be manipulated in a very specific way, and the child will be corrected for inventing different uses, using a different hand, sequence, etc.  But then there are lots of schools called "montessori" that differ completely from this traditional approach.

Any of the schools you're considering sounds like it could be a place for your child to thrive.  And if not, you can always make a change.  Most of the time, the bad things and the good ones aren't the issues you agonized over, but accidents along the way (the particular mix of kids in her class, the new teacher...)

For the record, we went for a public magnet because the fact that it's public (diverse, free, bike ride distance to boot) gave it a leg up over the Waldorf.

From what I understand, the basic teaching philosophies of Montessori and Waldorf are opposite from one another.  In the Montessori classroom, all concepts are taught beginning with the concrete and moving into the abstract.  Since abstraction is a more complicated skill, it makes sense to progress to that place rather than begin there.  Waldorf begins there.  In full disclosure, I am a Montessori teacher and totally partial, just FYI.  

About the creativity - many Montessorians wish Dr. Maria Montessori had done more with this concept before she died, but she didn't. . . so, it's up to individual schools, teachers, etc.  It's important to get a feel for the school as a whole.  I did not have a dress-up corner in my classroom, but the creativity was alive and vital and ever-present through the materials, curriculum, group time, etc.

If the Montessori method is attractive to you, then check out my parenting blog (www.childperspective.com) to help with keeping some consistency between home and school.

Kori!

Please tell me Magnolia will be selling her rock people at the Toronto show.

Get those little hands moving!

Lindsey