I think I've said this before...I'm horrible with goodbyes. My family has pointed this out to me since I was 8. That might be one of the reasons why I like my job. Touring allows me to see loved ones frequently. The only way to make goodbyes feel better is learning to say "see ya later" instead of "goodbye." I've recently taught this to Mags.
The reason being: My daughter has apparently inherited the heart-wrenching, departure thing I have and it's hard to watch.
Act 1
When Julia, our nanny for this past tour, had to leave a few days early (to do the Australian tour of Yo Gabba Gabba), Mags sobbed and had questions like, "What happens if I miss you??" How will I get my morning surprises??" It got to the point that it made me cry saying goodbye to Julia too.
Act 2
When Jason flew Mags home to Gramma 4 days before the tour ended (so she could get back to school and dance class and a little more normal routine) she was sobbing at 4am having the following hysterically conversation (by hysterical I mean a crying fit)
Mags: Well, how am I gonna eat breakfast today?? (sobbing)
Me: I packed food for you... Dad will get you food in the airport
Mags: How will I talk to you every day?
me: You can call me anytime.
Mags: What if you don't answer, like if you are sleeping?
me: I will wake up to talk to you.
Mags: What if you're soundchecking and you can't answer the phone?
me; I will stop the soundcheck and tell everyone that you are calling and I want to talk to my daughter.
Mags: How am I ever going to fly on a plane all day without you. (sobbing still)
me: you are great at flying and your Dad is going with you, we wouldn't ever send you alone, silly. You have done this before, remember?
The night before she left I had to give her my bracelet so she could hold it and think of me. (heartache)
Then I told her I packed her some gum in her backpack and she could have it in the morning for a special treat. Honestly, I think she was happier at home for 4 days instead of mroe touring. But of course, guilt attack on my part.
ACT 3 Preschool graduation
Now that we're home and living a somewhat normal life for a while, I realized, this is not tour-induced, it's a more like a Gardner family tradition. She INHERITED this fun trait.
Mags cried every night this past week because she was so sad to say goodbye to her teachers that she just couldn't handle it any other way. She doesn't know how she will face the day not seeing them.
She told me she secretly breaks into tears and hides it from her teachers when she's at school.
(oh, p.s. at the 4 year old, graduation ceremony, I cried-shocker. On her last day of school, I cried too. We cried together.)
I swear, I would love not to pass on my emotions to my children but I think it's too late. At least she can turn it into art...I heard her making up songs about it the other day. She even cries when I go jogging for 20 minutes. It's getting a little out of hand. But, I totally understand. Like I said, I'm horrible at departures too.
We played a show recently and since it was during the day we brough the whole family. (Let's just stick together!)
While we played, I noticed a rousing game of ring around the rosie. Mags loves having other kids at concerts.
Speaking of kids at shows. I'm loving the fact that more of our friends are having babies,
and bringing them to concerts.
(Mags cried when it was time to go home.)