From the June 10, 2007 New York Times:

Nanny Knew Best

To the Editor:

Re “A Nanny Nightmare? Living Without One,” by Liesl Schillinger (Books of Style, May 27):

I was born in London in 1924 to middle-class parents. The custom in those days in England was to hire a well-trained English nanny (with excellent references) to raise the children. My mother was a dedicated and valuable community volunteer but insecure in her role as a mother.

My sister and I adored our nanny and I believe I am a much more confident and contented person because of her dedicated and experienced care. I doubt if my insecure, anxious mother would have been as successful. But my parents’ marriage was a loving one and they were devoted parents and grandparents.

When Nanny died I felt her loss very deeply; when Mother died at 77 a few years later I was saddened, feeling as if I had lost a really good friend. I have always wondered whether Mother regretted (or realized) that in my heart Nanny was my “real” mother. Consequently, my husband and I did not have nannies for the children. I guess I was selfish and did not want to share their love.

Zelda Ruth Harris

Toronto

I think this letter is just fascinating, and not just because it trips my anglophilia switch. I have zero experience with nannies, but it's kind of a thrill to be reminded that there was a time in recent history when it was expected that a paid caregiver would raise your children and there would be little accompanying cultural uproar. And that the beneficiary of such a system chose to do the opposite with her own children acknowledges the bittersweet contradiction at the heart of modern, middle-class baby-havin'. All in three short paragraphs. Bravo, Zelda Ruth Harris of Toronto, Canada. Bravo.