Awwwww... look at that cute little puppy. Don't you wish you could have a puppy or a kitten? Mean mommy says you can't have a pet. Something about allergies. You know what would be just as good? A little puppy or kitten with closed eyes and soft fur that appears every inch a real animal that died in its sleep, but which takes a honkin' D battery to make it pulsate in a way that approximates breathing. Doesn't that sound awesome? They're just $39.95 apiece from Perfect Petzzz, and that includes the pet, collar, bed, carrier, and at least a year's worth of nightmares! Go ask your parents for one right now!
(Hey, don't take my word for it. While the team here discussed this great find, Kelly copped to having one in her house. She charitably described it -- and this is a quote -- as "CREEPY AS HELL.")
