Like that should come as a shocker. Miss Lohan hasn't exactly been demonstrating taste or prudence in recent months - and what car-crashing, rehab-repeat starlet doesn't need a boyfriend with a knocked-up supermodel or two in his past? Isn't that, like, the latest accessory? (Or, wait - maybe it's has-been pop tarts toting husbands who've impregnated TV actresses. I get so confused.)

Next, expect to see Mischa Barton with that guy who left his wife to go knock up Tori Spelling. Or Paris Hilton with Kevin Federline. Deadbeat daddies are the new accessory dog - who needs a miniature chihuahua named TinkerBell when you can have a guy with a high sperm count and a trail of paternity suits?

You heard it here first, folks.