Rumors are swirling that Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner's 27-year-old girlfriend, is expecting their child. Apparently this photo of the 81-year-old Hefner with his hand gently resting on Madison's stomach are what started people talking. It must be true, since he is usually always photographed with both hands on her boobs.
Let's do the math here. When that baby is entering kindergarten, Hefner will be 86. He'll be 98 at the high-school graduation, and let's say 108 at the wedding. Which means, unless he's truly immortal, he'll have to be cryogenically frozen and then thawed on the occasion of this child's nuptials. And judging by his track record, he'll probably be horny as hell after that long sleep and will proceed to impregnate every single woman in the bridal party. The Iceman cometh!
I don't want to be too cynical. If this turns out to be true, I want to be the first to give Madison some mothering advice: When the big moment arrives, take that crying, wrinkly thing in your arms and comfort it. And when you're done with Hef, make sure to hold the baby, too.
