Those Brits. They really have the edge on us with reality tv, and consequently on supplies of F-List celebs making a hash of their lives in public. News of the World brings us the latest sensational story, that of Kerry Katona who was seen by her friend/housekeeper Louise Oortywn sniffing "lines of coke when she was four months gone."
While not the superstar that Britney is, Kerry had some singing success with girl group Atomic Kitten (warning, the site loads playing a bloody awful song.) She had some husbands, a couple of kids, was named Celebrity Mum of the Year, 2002 and 2005, oh and she also enjoyed psycho drug binges with the kids around and even when pregnant. This totally blows away a little head shaving and snatch flashing. It clear that Brit needs to amp up her game. She needs to do it for her fame, but more importantly for the good old US of A. We can't get beat by these British bitches!
Naturally Kerry has a tragic past. She lost her own mum when she was young, was brought up by foster parents and went to several schools. Demonstrating surprising savvy, or at the behest of a canny business manager, she capitalized on this with a "deeply personal" book Kerry, Too Much, Too Young. On the cover she's a winsome brunette, proving that a little hair dye and soft focus photography can mask a multitude of sins.
For those of you wondering but too lazy to go to the NoTW story or Kerry's wiki page, the baby she was carrying during the drug binge was born early and small - five pounds. No word yet on what's wrong with it, but if the drug stories are true, you know there's a charity ball/foundation for some fetal alcohol/awful childhood disease in Kerry's future.
Kerry is the latest in Famecrawler's "Who The F*** is" series. Like earlier "honorees" Myleene Klaas and Katie Price, Kerry was on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, which is clearly a bigger deal in the UK than here. Kerry even won Season 3! And the similarities keep on coming. Guess who was also named Celebrity Mum of the Year 2007, beating out notables like Kate Moss, Jade Goody (probably our next Who The F*** ?) and That Dirty Whore Heather Mills. Drum roll...Jordan, aka Katie Price!
With all of this meta-connectivity, you know Kevin Bacon is just around the corner.
Photo credit: News of the World
