With the excellent title "Kevin Can Wait" and creepy soul patch (called a "jazz spot" in the article, gag), Kevin is the cover story of this month's AARP magazine. Yes, AARP as in retired people and senior discounts. But wait, Kevin's only 53, he just seems like he's in his 70s. And while his movies haven't done much box office lately, he doesn't qualify as retired yet.
Still, he is sort of old to be a baby daddy. Again. Kevin has three kids (ages 23, 21 and 19) from his first marriage plus a 10 year old with a former girlfriend. Costner graciously acknowledged his fourth child...after a blood test (so gallant!) On May 6th he welcomed his fifth child, Cayden, with second wife Christine Baumgartner. This accomplished lady, both a model and handbag designer, at the tender age of 33 is a mere two decades years younger than Kev. You may remember their super, uh, Colorado-ish wedding in 2004, which was covered by the best publications, like People. It was also reviewed by horoscope analysis site Cosmitech who warned that the signs were not auspicious for their union. It turns out, they may be right.
You see, since the wedding, Kevin's been the rumored answer to blind items like this one from the UK Daily Mirror that came out around the time they were on their golfing honeymoon in Scotland:
A Hollywood superstar performed a sex act on himself while enjoying a massage, a hotel worker has claimed.
The American A-list actor is said to have dropped his towel and exposed himself to the stunned masseuse.
The woman claimed he then carried out the "disgusting" act in front of her in the hotel spa.
The star - who cannot be named for legal reasons - was on a golfing
holiday with his wife and staying at the Old Course Hotel in St
Andrews, Scotland.
And this one from the NY Daily News:
Which married, massage therapist-loving actor had to pay a guy off on
the set of his current film after he got a little too touchy-feely?
And this one from Crazy Days and Nights:
This married A-list movie actor told his wife he needed to relax and so
was going out to Palm Springs to play some golf. He showed up at the
golf course. He went inside the pro-shop and gave the head pro a few
hundred dollars and said that if his wife called to tell her that the
actor was out on the course and no cell phones are allowed there. Then
he was to call the actor's cell phone and tell him the wife called. The
actor then left the pro shop with a woman who was not dressed to play
golf and drove away. Now it's possible this twosome played golf
somewhere else, but I think he was trying to put his ball into another
cup if you know what I mean.
I'm not saying he's a cheater or a perv. I'm not even saying he's A-List. However, the love of golf and actorly sense of lookit-me! entitlement, combined with a history of multiple baby mommas opens up the possibility that Kevin could be the aging playboy they're talking about.
Just in case, consider this a public service announcement. Even though Costner is no Eddie Murphy, remember, he may have a few more kids in him. And God knows what else on him. Ladies, use protection!
Photo credit: Andrew Eccles
