New father Tiger Woods will be skipping this weeks Buick Open in order to be home with his family. Wife Elin gave birth to the couple's first child, daughter Sam Alexis, on June 18 and Woods is choosing to miss the PGA tournament for the first time since 2001 in order to help out with baby duties. Wait'll the guys in the locker room hear about this.
Do they have locker rooms in golf? What the hell is a birdie, anyways? And why DO they wear such bad pants? Sorry to piss all you golfers off, but I prefer the sport when it's played on a mini-course adjacent to a nachos stand and where the third hole is hit through a spinning windmill.
