Us Weekly, demonstrating that they are, indeed, noble souls who desire nothing more than the spread of love and goodness throughout the world, had this to report yesterday: 'Brit Cries, “I Looked Like a Fat Pig” After Exiting Stage.' They say that, according to a backstage source, she was able to see video of herself throughout the auditorium during her ill-fated VMA performance: “She flipped out. She came running off the stage, yelling ‘Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!’ She was inconsolable.”
Isn't this where we're all supposed to go, no, honey, you don't look fat at all! We love you just the way you are!
Yeah, I thought not. We wouldn't make very good husbands.
(For the record, I have said that she doesn't look fat, at least not according to any reasonable understanding of the word "fat." If Britney is a fat pig, then I am an obese hippo. But I deal with my imagined hipposity by not wearing itsy-bitsy sparkly skank outfits. Britney needs to put on something that fits properly and get over it. Now, can we talk about something else already?)
