Paris Hilton is always thinking of the children. "I have, like, a million clothes and more than 500 pairs of shoes, so I'm going to give a bunch of them to orphanages and children's hospitals," she said the other day. "I never wear something twice."
This is why she's going to make such a great mother. She knows what children really need: not love and support and attention, but skanky old clothes that have pawed over and under by innumerable Greek shipping heirs and wannabe fly boys. Those orphans and cancer babies want nothing more than to prance around and play Oscar De La Hoya Goes To Kitsons. It will be bring light into their sad little lives! Joy! Hope!
At least those clothes will probably fit toddlers better than they do Paris. And every hip tot needs a strapless black romper. You know, for all that romping they do over at the orphanage, and in the leukaemia ward.
