It's frustrating, really, how the very best stories are often just not true. Take Brad and Angelina and their rumored purchase of an island compound off the coast of Ethiopia, for example. That story was true for, like, five minutes yesterday, and it was an awesome five minutes.
(Not as awesome as the five minutes during which I believed that Buffy was pregnant, but still, pretty awesome.)
The story ideas were endless! Brad and Angelina would start their own Child Island, an elite compound for care and rearing of adopted children. The children would learn how to catch their own fish for their private chefs to turn into ceviche! They would study French, and hang-gliding, and coconut-husking and darning split pants and would soon embark upon their own Dharma Initiative! And Brad and Angelina - well, Angelina (Brad's really just a glorified houseboy, isn't he?) - would rule and oversee it all as the benevolent dictators overlords parents they have always wanted to be and no grasping birth families could ever, ever come and take their children away. It would be like Lord of the Flies, but without breakdown into anarchy and violence. And with hot movie stars!
Sadly, the fantasies lasted only as long as it took the Jolie-Pitt publicists to deny that the happy couple had purchased an island, which was, as I said, about five minutes. Bummer. My fantasy life as a gossip writer is really so much more interesting than the real one.
