FameCrawler

Five Reasons Why Naming Your Kid Bronx Mowgli Makes You Look Like An Ass

Posted by HerBadMother

 

1) Because somebody, somewhere, is going to think that it's racist - or at least, a lame demonstration of cultural insensitivity at its stupidest - and they're probably right. Oh, what? You named your really white kid after a romanticized savage-feral child in a story written by an imperialist racist and also appropriated the name of an ethnically diverse neighborhood in a lame attempt to make yourselves seem hip? COOL.

2) That, or it demonstrates that your cultural literacy is restricted to Disney. You didn't know that Rudyard Kipling was known for prattling on about the White Man's Burden and romanticizing the quote-unquote savage? Oh, well. Shoulda stayed in school.

3) Two words: PLAYGROUND PANTSING.

4) Because it also demonstrates that you don't know how to use Google. Type Mowgli into a Google browser search box, and guess what comes up near the top? Mowgli Syndrome! A term that is often given to children that are found with severe cognitive and/or physical deficiencies that are not the result of any biological cause, but rather are due to severe neglect. Which, I suppose, isn't the worst thing. At least you didn't name the kid Bronx Munchhausens or Bronx Aspergers. Because someone might have taken offense to that.

5) Because the Beckhams hit up the New York boroughs for names first, and imitating the Beckhams is just so 2006.  


+ DIGG + STUMBLE

Comments

 

BBBGMOM said:

Ha!  Very funny stuff.  Seriously, what were they thinking?  (Or were they simply not thinking?)  Horrible name.

November 24, 2008 10:17 PM
 

Cindy said:

What an awful name!  These parents, with normal names, are so selfish by naming their kid something so ridiculous.  

November 25, 2008 7:44 AM
 

bluestar said:

God, I haven't been on famecrawler in a while because I was SO turned off by your shitty, shitty sense of humor, HerBadMother and here I come back to check in again and look what I find.  I read the post without looking to see who wrote it and I thought it was just the worst, unfunniest post.  I look at the by-line and guess who!  Seriously, this is not funny, it is mean.  It is one thing to roll your eyes about how ridiculous or dumb you think a baby name is, it's another to accuse them of racism (I have a JD and I didn't know shit about Rudyard Kipling being a racist).  Most people don't google their kid's name to find out if it's also used to describe a disease/syndrom.  I mean look, I think the name is ridiculous and is trying way too hard, but you know how we always talk about kids with weird names being teased by other kids on the playground?  And how those teasing kids can be so vicious?  Well gee, I wonder where they learn to make fun of other kids' names.  Hm...

November 25, 2008 11:27 AM
 

HerBadMother said:

bluestar - any parent who decides to give their child a 'unique' name and doesn't research it is a moron. I mean, seriously - you pull those kinds of names out of a hat and you're risking exposing your own stupidity and/or exposing your kid to ridicule. So YOU didn't know that Kipling was a racist and that 'Mowgli' is a character he used to romanticize  the 'noble savage' and argue for such savages to be 'civilized' by the white man? Well, then, I guess that makes the name okay! *rolls eyes*

November 25, 2008 11:56 AM
 

missy said:

I agree with HBM not Angry Bluestar up above. I also think they named the baby Bronx to evoke Brangelina's fondness for names ending with an x. It's pathetic. And I think a google search is in order if you're contemplating a name as unusual as Mowgli. Seriously, people, get a clue.

November 25, 2008 12:07 PM
 

BBBGMOM said:

Bluestar--  Why did you bother to tell us you have a JD?  What does that imply?  Certainly neither intelligence nor insight!  Anyway, I am not nearly as educated as you purport to be, yet I have long been aware of Kipling's racism.  It is pretty common knowledge...

November 25, 2008 1:32 PM
 

bluestar said:

BBBGMOM I said I had a JD just to illustrate the point that staying in school, even for a long time, doesn't necessarily guarantee knowledge about Rudyard Kipling.  Sorry I'm not as smart as you, thanks for letting us all know about your superior intelligence.

HerBadMother - again, maybe if the adults didn't say shitty things about other kids' names (which they obviously didn't pick themselves and have to live with for at least part of their lives) then kids would be a little more tolerant of things that other kids had no control over at birth.  I get that kids aren't reading this blog, I'm just saying I don't like your tone.  And now, since it is your blog (at least partly) and I'm the guest, I'll just go away.

November 25, 2008 3:54 PM
 

mommashay said:

I'm with you, Bluestar. I realize HBM was trying to make a point about intelligence or lack thereof, but not knowing something does not make you stupid or uninformed. It's the overall body of knowledge one possesses that makes up a person's IQ. I didn't know that about Rudyard Kipling either, but that's neither here nor there. I agree the name sounds stupid but does anyone know the reason they named him that? Maybe it's a deeply personal one. Maybe we shouldn't take it at face value until we know the whole story (if they even reveal it!)

November 29, 2008 11:33 AM
 

HerBadMother said:

mommashay - not knowing something does, in fact, make you uninformed about that thing. And when it comes to naming kids, I think that it's a parent's responsibility to know something about the name. I mean, what if they named their kid Stalin? Does ignorance of the history of that name make it ok?

They say they named him after the Disney Mowgli. Which is to say, the Kipling Mowgli.

November 29, 2008 11:52 AM
 

mommashay said:

Yes, not knowing something makes you uninformed about that particular subject, but that's not what you originally implied. You implied that not knowing about that particular subject makes one stupid, overall. Trust me, I'm not taking their side. Naming your child after anybody (real or fiction) that could offend an entire group of people is NEVER okay and I didn't say it was. I also have a huge problem when someone uses a slippery slope to defend her point of view. Of course it's not okay to name your kid Stalin! Who would argue with you about that? All you've done is back me into a corner, because of course you're right. But I can tell that you're pretty fired up about this Mowgli business and I'm not, so I'll give you back the soapbox.

November 30, 2008 2:45 AM
 

HerBadMother said:

mommashay - I'm not fired up about it; I get these comments in my inbox and when they suggest that I've said something that I haven't said, I'm inclined to respond. I didn't say anything about anyone being "stupid" overall - I criticized their cultural literacy and their ability to use Google, which is to say, I said that they were ignorant, in the sense of uninformed.

And yeah, I think that when people parade their ignorance as 'cool', it makes them look like asses. I don't think that's particularly controversial.

November 30, 2008 10:26 AM
 

Nicole said:

6) When your last name is Wentz, the kid is stick with the initials BMW. And the nickname BM is't much better.

December 3, 2008 1:16 AM

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