Can Jon and Kate Gosselin weather the storm and keep their family together? One couples therapist is weighing-in on the Gosselins and giving his opinion on whether or not they can save their marriage.
From RadarOnline.com:
Dr. Jamie Turndorf, or "Dr. Love," is a couples therapist (who has not worked with Jon or Kate) and says Jon is engaging in "warfare" with his wife and that they shouldn't necessarily work it out.
"When you cheat on a partner it’s a way of saying, basically, screw you. Screw you. That’s the ultimate way to stick it to somebody. People when they become angry at a partner engage in open warfare or fight traps, ways of punishing and torturing the other rather than bringing you closer together and this rips you apart.
"Cheating is a terrible fight trap. It’s really a way of saying you’re not doing what I want and what I need so screw you. To work it out the couple would have to say that they need to talk and want to stop engaging in this open warfare."
Dr. Turndorf said it's not all Jon's fault for their problems. Kate should take some responsibility as well.
"If he was in my office he’d probably say I’m feeling inadequate, threatened by her, and I don’t feel good about myself. So it would be out on the table. We would work on him, helping him feel better about himself, even if his wife is more successful.
"And then we might also ask her is there something she might be doing without realizing it to rub it in his face, you know, her success? Anything she’s doing that is adding to his feeling of inadequacy? Anything she can do to make him feel more confident with her."
Why would Jon cheat (if he actually did)?
Dr. Love explains, "If he’s feeling competitive with his wife and threatened and inadequate in relationship to her then it would be understandable that he might go to another relationship to boost his ego. You know, a new relationship often makes you feel special, your new partner tells you you’re wonderful, this is a symptom that the man doesn’t have the best self esteem or a lot of confidence if he’s feeling so threatened by his wife’s success."
The doctor said the children can become victims in this sort of situation. He said it's not always the best idea to stay together for the sake of the children.
"Kids tend to blame themselves. Kids, they way their brains work they think they’re the center of the universe, so whatever happens they think is their fault. If my parents don’t get along they think it’s their fault. They think they’re not good enough kids and they’re not keeping their parents together. It’s irrational but it’s what kids think.
"It’s always wonderful if you can work it out for the kids' sake, but if the relationship is irreconcilable, staying together and fighting is terrible for the kids."
[Source]
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