If you haven't seen the Gene Simmons sex tape, please ensure your stomach is empty and your eyes are closed. I mean really.
Even
the model he was collapsing upon turned her head when his giant freak
head was coming at her to smooch. Gaggerific. How do I know this?
Oh I watched it. Through my fingers and squinty eyes, I swallowed my
gag reflex several times in order to serve you, the people. You're
welcome.
Anyway, ol' Gene has issued a statement on his website:
"Hi everyone. You may have heard or seen garbage that has sprung up
from my past. Rest assured the proper legal team is looking at all
ramifications and options.
"And us? Shannon, Nick and Soph are happy and healthy. All is well.
"And thank you all for the kind words of support."
Your past Gene? As in a few months ago? If this chick was much further back in the timeline, I'm pretty sure you'd be the one looking straight into the barrel of a legal team.
Kind words? Uh, Gene? You haven't been reading blogs, obviously. We're all...
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