FameCrawler : Arizona Cardinals

Arizona Cardinals Star Larry Fitzgerald Smacked His Baby Mama?

Sassy Smith — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 18:09:00 GMT

NFL Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald is an alleged woman abuser - he's accused of knocking the mother of his 11-month-old son around and has been ordered to stay away from the both of them.

Angela Nazario claims that she brought their son to visit Larry at his Phoenix home last fall, and the two began to argue. She alleges Larry knocked her around the room and pulled her hair out.

In court documents, Nazario claims that Fitzgerald tried to "diffuse the situation" by raising his fist (ya, that always works) and then challenges her to a play fight. She admits that she "may have hit his face."

Things got ugly, according to Angela. She said Larry became enraged, pushing her to her knees. She claims he "grabbed me by my hair with both hands on the back of my head very very hard and tossed me across the room."

Nazario wanted to leave with the baby but she says Fitzgerald "grabbed the back of my neck and slammed me down on the marble floor.. [I] was disoriented for awhile and could not get up, I remember he mumbled something about 'that's what happens when you try taking my son away from me.""

She alleges that as she got in her car to leave, she realized she had lost "chunks" of her hair.

No word from Larry Fitzgerald's reps.

And nice that this took place in front of their 11-month-old baby.

[Source]

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GQ Presents the Most Whipped Husbands in the WORLD!

Whit Honea — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 22:34:00 GMT

GQ has compiled a list of men that have been subjected to the proverbial "p" whipping by their bossy and/or powerful women. Many of them are fathers as well. I think there is a big difference between being a dotting dad and wuss, I hope GQ took that into consideration.

That said, here's the list:

25. Mark Consuelos, wife Kelly Ripa
24. Rudolph Giuliani, wife Judy
23. Larry King, wife Shawn Southwick
22. Michael Douglas, wife Catherine Zeta-Jones
21. Seal, wife Heidi Klum
20. Kevin Smith (the Clerks director), wife Jennifer Schwalbach
19. Sergay Brin (34-year-old Google wunderkind), wife Anne Wojcicki
18. Ben Stiller, wife Christine Taylor
17. Gerald Levin (the former CEO of Time Warner), wife Laurie Perlman
16. Jack Welch (the former General Electric chair-man and CEO), wife Suzy Wetlaufer
15. Tim Burton, wife Helena Bonham Carter
14. Keith Urban, wife Nicole Kidman
13. Elton John, husband David Furnish
12. John Edwards, former presidential candidate, wife Elizabeth
11. Woody Allen, wife Soon-Yi Previn
10. Ashton Kutcher, wife Demi Moore -he's top 5 for sure
9. Howard Stern, wife Beth Ostrosky
8. Rupert Murdoch (Aussie billionaire), wife Wendi Deng
7. Kurt Warner (quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals), wife Brenda
6. Marc Anthony, wife Jennifer Lopez -shouldn't he be higher?
5. Josh Kelly, wife Katherine Heigl
4. Bill Gates, wife Melinda
3. Eminem, wife Kimberly
2. Doug Christie, wife Jackie
1. Guy Ritchie, wife Madonna

There is a slideshow at GQ that explains why each man made the list. It's pretty funny, at least it seems like it is, my wife wouldn't let me read it.

Photo: DWS

Matt Leinart And Blake Lively: Super Bowl Hook-Up?

HerBadMother — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 17:06:00 GMT

Sources say that Matt Leinart's been gettin' bizzy with Gossip Girl's Blake Lively in Arizona in advance of today's Super Bowl. The Arizona Cardinals quarterback was spotted indulging in some heavy snuggling with the actress at the DirecTV Celebrity Beach Bowl.

At least he doesn't have to have any worries about those old football wives tales that insist that getting a little sumpin' sumpin' before a big game, um, drains one's athletic power. You know, since his team didn't make it. Somebody's warned Tom Brady about those supersitions, though, I hope. 'Cause Gisele looks like she could tire a guy out somethin' fierce.

Source

Hasselbeck Family: Marching Ahead Of The Apocalypse

HerBadMother — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:02:00 GMT

I'm not sure what I love most about this picture of the Hasselbeck family cruising the streets of New York: Tim Hasselbeck's phenomenally fugly sweater, the classically pinched look on Elisabeth's face, or the ancient, stooped woman who is clearly about wave her stick-like arm in the air and shout millenarian prophecies at them. Prophecies, I'm guessing, that involve fire and brimstone and Elisabeth's likely collusion with the Four Horsemen (who almost certainly have three-way face. Or four-way face. Whatever.)

Anyhoo. The girl is adorable, though I like her better in this picture, because she looks like she's heard her mother's stupid comments about three-ways and wants nothing to do with her:

Source, source

Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Sex Expert

HerBadMother — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:32:00 GMT

Why this surprises me, I'm not sure, but it does: Elisabeth Hasselbeck, apparently, can spot someone who has had a threesome from across the room.

Yesterday's episode of The View heard extensive discussion about the finer points of conducting a menage a trois, during which Elisabeth declared that she could tell which audience members had, um, experience. She pointed at specific individuals and stated that they "have three-way face."

Three-way face? Call me naive, but wouldn't it true that the only way one could identify 'three-way face' would be if they had actually seen another person's face during a three-way (or, to be rigorous about it, seen their own face during a three-way, if that three-way were conducted, say, in front of a mirror?) You know, in an actual three-way, or, perhaps, in some late-night porno binge?

Clearly, in my stubborn attachment to stereotypes, I've underestimated the sexual adventurousness of tight-assed Republican family traditionalists. I have much to learn.

Source

Jessica Simpson Gets Quarterback Advice from Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Whit Honea — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 16:39:00 GMT

Don't worry Cowboy fans, Jessica Simpson isn't showing up at the game (unless you bring your own- above). Hopefully, for your sake, Tony Romo will- tan and well rested.

Apparently Elisabeth Hasselbeck couldn't resist reaching out to someone dumber and offered Simpson her view on dating a quarterback. Her husband Tim is riding the pine for the Arizona Cardinals.

"Quarterbacks are a little bossy. So I like to remind Tim that he's not on field when he's trying to call the plays at home."

Come on, Elisabeth, he's not on the field at work either. Cut the guy some slack.

Mask: MilwaukeeWorld

Hasselbeck Baby On View

HerBadMother — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 23:36:00 GMT

Elisabeth Hasselbeck, fresh off of maternity leave, brought her new son to sit in as a guest host on her first day back at The View today.

Two-month old Taylor Thomas Hasselbeck (undeniably adorable, I have to admit) joined mom and co-hosts Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar and Sherri Shepherd. "I thought I'd bring a little testosterone to the table today," said Hasselbeck. "He's huge," she gushed. "He's almost like 12 pounds, I think. He's just constantly on me. I call myself the Dairy Queen."

Nice. Like I needed to hear about the gushing mounds that are Elisabeth Hasselbeck's boobs. Isn't there some rule for Republicans that says that they're never allowed to talk about their body parts? There should be. Somebody get Ann Coulter on that one.

Source

Break Out the Champagne! Elisabeth Hasselbeck Returns to The View

sweatpantsmom — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 01:50:00 GMT

Apparently it's a very big deal that Elisabeth Hasselbeck is returning to The View on Monday after a two-month maternity leave. I'm not sure why since I've never watched the show, but I hear people are pretty excited about it; taking the day off of work to watch it, having 'Welcome Back Elisabeth' parties and inducing births so that they can say, "My baby was born on the day Elisabeth returned to The View!"

I'm totally making all of this up, of course. Who would induce birth for such a ridiculous event? It's not like when I did it, so that I could be back home in time to watch the American Idol finale.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck in a New York State of Mind

Whit Honea — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 18:23:00 GMT

Elisabeth Hasselbeck and her daughter Grace (in a Maclaren Volo Stroller, Salmon, $89.95) will be moving to Arizona soon and they wanted to say goodbye to the old neighborhood and all the stuff they ~~hate~~ are going to miss.

New York just won't be the same without them. Things will be so quiet, and slightly more tolerant.

Photos: Babyrazzi

Coulteresque Hasselbeck to Take Stupidity and Husband to Arizona: A Poll

Whit Honea — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 17:35:00 GMT

The biggest difference between Ann Coulter and Elisabeth Hasselbeck is the former's adam's apple. It's definitely the biggest thing between her mouth and the holy ground she walks on. Also, Elisabeth was able to stop spewing hate long enough to get pregnant.

Hasselbeck is going to Arizona. I'm guessing Coulter will be going someplace even hotter.

The man lucky enough to get a full view 24/7 is her husband Tim Hasselbeck, a NFL quarterback who was just acquired by the Arizona Cardinals. He will be the ~~3rd~~ 4th QB this season.

I went to a game in Arizona earlier this season. Nice stadium. Good crowd. What do you think will piss them off first, Tim's arm or Elisabeth's mouth?

Photo: New York Social Diary