FameCrawler : Britney Spears custody agreement

What do OJ, Spector and Spears Have in Common? L.A. Law.

Whit Honea — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 07:04:00 GMT

Law and disorder. What the hell are my tax dollars doing anyway? The court met with Britney even though she was late. Real late. Yeah, they do that for everyone, right?

Commissioner Gordon is starting to sound like Charlie Brown. Wishy-washy.

Even though he continues to say that Britney Spears is a danger to her children and reprimands her for failure to comply with court orders he still granted her the right to overnight visitations with her boys Sean Preston and Jayden James. Apparently there is to be a monitor.

Spears' camp asked that the monitor be her mother Lynne Spears. Really. Her camp asked this. This is the same mother that Britney wouldn't allow near her children.

Kevin Federline agreed. I'm guessing he said, "Yo."

It's a freakin' soap-opera down at the courthouse, y'all.

Photo: Yahoo!

Is Britney TRYING To Prove That She's A Bad Mother?

HerBadMother — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 20:03:00 GMT

I've had my moments of feeling sorry for Britney Spears, I really have. She's been mercilessly hounded and mocked and chastised for being a silly exhibitionist twit who, everyone says, deserved to lose her children - what's not to cringe at? But seriously, this week, I gotta say that all of my sympathy's dried up. Partying after losing custody? Continuing to parade ridiculously in front of the paparazzi as though nothing happened? That kind of stuff wears down my sympathy.

As does missing your first visitation with the babies that you haven't seen in days. As does refusing to open the door to your children because you didn't want to see the court-ordered parenting coach.

That's right. All those stories about how the gate-intercom wasn't working? About how Britney just didn't realize that her babies had arrived and were waiting to see Mommy? All, apparently, bullshit.

TMZ is reporting that Britney knew that her kids were there but just refused to answer the intercom because the court-ordered parenting coach was with them:

Sources tell TMZ the real reason Britney Spears didn't answer her buzzer when her kids came to visit last Thursday is because she wants nothing to do with anyone who tries to tell her how to be a good parent.

We're told Britney was well aware that her kids were coming at 10:00 AM. She had telephone conversations about it 10 minutes earlier. Britney's big concern was that she didn't want the parenting coach, who was in tow, to tell her how to interact with her kids.

So Brit's solution was to not answer the buzzer, as her kids cried in front of the house and waited for 40 minutes before K-Fed's bodyguard pulled the plug and returned home.

We don't know how reliable these 'sources' are, of course, but somehow the whole story seems a lot more plausible than 'the intercom broke.' This is, after all, the woman who fired her manager and her publicist and who celebrated the loss of her kids with a night out partying. So the whole 'Britney's-a-victim' line is seeming less and less believable as the days go by.

Her poor kids. They're the victims.

Robbie Williams Would "Kill" For Britney

HerBadMother — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 13:33:00 GMT

I used to think that Robbie Williams was hot, in a leering British pop-star kinda way. And although I think that it demonstrates a certain level of chivalry for a fellow to want to defend a damsel in distress - and chivalry, as we all know, is hot - it somehow takes the heat out of the chivalrous hotness when said damsel is a panty-shunning, pill-popping, car-crashing chunk of pop tart.

Sure, Britney needs saving, but it's the kind of saving that one can only do for oneself. It's check-me-into-rehab saving, follow-terms-of-custody-agreement saving, start-wearing-panties-and-acting-like-a-grownup saving. So while it might be a noble impulse, on Robbie Williams' part, to want to 'kill' the paparazzi that are stalking Britney's every move, he might better direct his energies elsewhere, like maybe towards actually getting his career going again.

Britney Decides To Become A Lesbian. No Word Yet On A Decision To Become Sane.

HerBadMother — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 19:03:00 GMT

It's been a rough couple of weeks for Britney. Public humiliation. Private humilliation. Getting fired by her lawyer. And her manager. Losing the kids.

But just when you thought that it couldn't possibly get any worse, Britney has, according to 'reliable sources,' announced that she's going to make a change in her life that will turn things around: she's only going to date women from now on.

She knows that Madonna's married, I hope. That could get embarassing, if Britney starts sending flowers and shit in the hopes of rekindling those sparks from few years back. Then again, you never know. Guy doesn't exactly seem to be man enough for Madge these days. Britney could maybe give him a run for his money, especially if she loses the weave and keeps going commando.

Not sure how well this will serve her efforts to get her kids back, though.

Britney Losing It Results in Losing Them

Whit Honea — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 01:01:00 GMT

FOX news is reporting that a ruling expected later today will deny Britney Spears any custody of her children, albeit on a temporary basis. Commissioner Gordon (really! freaking Commissioner Gordon, that rules!) will be placing the boys, Sean Preston and Jayden James in the full-custody of their father Kevin Federline. Christ, I never thought I would be writing that (until a few weeks ago that is).

The ruling is based on evidence entered over the weekend as well as, well everything. It's not like Britney's behavior hasn't been on view for months. If you are unfamiliar just pour yourself a drink, make yourself comfortable, and start scrolling down FameCrawler.

I want to feel sorry for her. I really do, but I'm having trouble doing so. She has had nothing but time and chances to get it together. I just hope she still can.

Photo: Drunk Hollywood

K-Fed and the Family Party While Brit Burns - Now With Pictures!

HerBadMother — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 19:34:00 GMT

(photo - TMZ)

So while Mama Britney was crashing and burning her way through the VMA's last Sunday, K-Daddy, as we know, was throwing a birthday bash for little Jayden James and Sean Preston.

A few more things of note about this party:

1) There was a break in the festivities to watch Brit's performance, which was mercifully (?) cut short when Sarah Silverman started cracking mean jokes about the Spears-Federline children. How many kinds of bizarre is it to say that it might have been a good thing that Brit's parents, kids and ex-husband witnessed Sarah Silverman making those jokes? What's worse, really, for the children - hearing some B-list comic make sick jokes about them being mistakes shot forth from mommy's pouchy hairless hoo-ha, or watching Mommy stumble onstage in her spangled bikini and fishnets, looking vacant and grabbing crotches? Discuss amongst yourselves.

2) Shar Jackson was there, too. With the half-siblings, of course, but still. Ouch.

3) The birthday boys partied in their diapers. It's not quite underwear, but it's a notch above what Mommy usually wears.

Is it just me, or does it add insult to massive injury that Britney's parents were hanging out with the man who is trying to take her children away, and that man's ex-baby-mama, eating cake and watching people make fun of her? Sure, to everyone's credit, they turned the TV off, but still - that means that they were all just hanging out together, having sweets and snacks, and feeling sorry for her.

I didn't think that I could feel sorrier for Britney than I already did - though I've bracing myself for the news that her kids will be taken away - but that image, of her parents and her ex and her ex's ex, all hanging out, bouncing her half-naked babies on their laps and tut-tutting her tragic existence, that image kind of pushed me over into full-on sympathy.

Poor bitch. Life's going rough.

UPDATED! The Bodyguard is the New Butler: He Did It- The Continuing Story of Spears Vs. Federline

Whit Honea — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 18:52:00 GMT

Is it just me, or does today feel like an episode of Spears of Our Lives? (it was either that or As the Fed Turns)

TMZ has followed up with the identity, kind of, of the witness pictured earlier. His name is Tony and he's a former bodyguard, and he's got some stuff to say. What's up with it always being the bodyguard? That's like the 2007 version of 'the butler did it.'

More from the good folks at TMZ. Who needs FOX?

Tony isTony Barretto, a former bodyguard for Spears. He was employed by Spears from the time she left rehab until he was fired on May 17 because, according to his attorney, "He did not hear her when he was asked to pick up her hat."

Barretto came forward due to his being "very concerned" about the welfare of her two boys. He is a father of young children himself. He filed a declaration which alleges "nudity, drug use and safety issues post-rehab."

Gloria Allred, Barretto's attorney, stated in a press conference that he was prepared to testify under oath today, but that his declaration went "unrefuted and unchallenged."

The guy doesn't look prepared to testify. Doesn't he own a tie? What is he wearing, courtroom casual?

Photo: TMZ

Is Kevin Federline a Marked Man?

Whit Honea — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 17:37:00 GMT

Who would want to have Kevin Federline killed? Besides the obvious that is.

Entertainment Tonight is reporting that they have been following a story wherein a reliable source claims the FBI and LAPD have been searching for the person responsible for an alleged contract hit on Federline's life.

This shit is getting crazier by the minute.

UPDATED: FBI Denies

Spears Vs. Federline: The Secret Witness Has Arrived!

Whit Honea — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 17:22:00 GMT

TMZ is reporting the arrival of the much pondered secret witness.

Who the hell is he?

Photo: TMZ

Britney Assaults A Pork Tenderloin; Is Heard Shrieking Something About 'Fat Pigs'

HerBadMother — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 16:32:00 GMT

The latest on the tragic, tragic trainwreck that is Britney Spears:

The troubled singer has been BANNED from LA’s exclusive Chateau Marmont hotel after a string of complaints over her oddball behaviour.

The Toxic star came under the management spotlight after reports she was “acting weird”.

And it seems “acting weird” doesn’t begin to describe her latest act of lunacy, which saw Britney stunning fellow diners in the posh hotel restaurant by smearing a plate of top-notch food over her FACE.

Horrified guests were understandably outraged and demanded the management kick her out for good.

A source said: “The diners were disgusted. You wouldn’t expect that from a teenager in a fast-food joint.

“Royalty have dined in this restaurant. Her behaviour was totally unacceptable.”

No word on whether she was wearing underpants at the time, but I think that we can safely bet no. And I think that we can also safely bet that K-Fed's custody lawyers are already planning victory celebrations.

At the Chateau Marmont, no doubt.

Kevin Federline Runs For The Hill

sweatpantsmom — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 16:45:00 GMT

It's true that fantasies come true in Hollywood: Kevin Federline will finally be able to perform in front of an audience consisting of more than just his mother and his agent. The wannabe rapper has a role in the CW's One Tree Hill as Jason, the lead singer of fictional rock band No Means Yes. I wonder if Kevin came up with the name while recalling his first date with ex Britney Spears.

Speaking of Britney, she may be coming to the small screen soon as well. The follically rehabilitated bad girl is reportedly in talks with Donald Trump to appear in the next installment of The Apprentice. I'm looking forward to seeing these two debate the hotly contested issue of comb-overs versus weaves.