FameCrawler : Hilton

Puppy-Killer Revealed?

HerBadMother — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:02:00 GMT

Good news for the two or three people out there who are still Britney fans: the beleagured pop princess is not Ted Casablanca's 'blind' puppy killer. It's pretty clear now that that honor goes to Paris Hilton - who is now under investigation by the LA Department of Animal Services.

Between the report from the other week about Paris abandoning cats, and her admission last week on Ellen Degeneres' show that she has seventeen dogs and hasn't spayed or neutered them, it's become pretty obvious that Paris is a negligent pet-owner. And if she can't remember to spay or neuter them - or even pick them up from the vet - then it's not a big stretch to figure out that she's probably Slurpa Pop-off, the celebutard who Ted Casablanca says is leaving her little dogs in closets to die.

I'll say it again: this girl should never, ever have children left in her care.

Source

Related stories:

The Mysterious Case Of Paris's Pussy And The Rogue Puppy-Killer

Which Irresponsible Young Celebrity Is A Dog-Killer?

The Mysterious Case Of Paris's Pussy And The Rogue Puppy-Killer

HerBadMother — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 22:39:00 GMT

Speculation had been that Slurpa Pop-Off - the irresponsible young celeb who Ted Casablanca claimed was killing her dogs - was none other than perennially put-upon mom Britney Spears, which was alarming, to say the least, given her access to young children.

But it's starting to look like Britney - concerns over her ability to care for small creatures notwithstanding - is not the Tinseltown Pet Killer.

That honor seems to be reserved for Paris Hilton, who, apparently, cannot remember when or if she takes her pets to the vet. Which is not the same as forgetting that one has locked one's puppies in a closet and leaving them there to die, but it's close.

According to TMZ, Paris adopted a kitty -- which she named Prada -- last May, about a week before she headed to Lynwood Jail. After Paris was released, we're told she knew she had to have Prada neutered, but didn't get around to it until a few weeks ago, on January 30:

But here's the problem -- nobody came back for Prada! About a week later, Kris Kelly (the woman from whom Paris adopted the kitty) called Paris to find out what happened, but she still hasn't heard back as to what to do with Paris' pussy.

It's been a few weeks now, so Ms. Kelly is keeping Prada, claiming that Paris abandoned her.

I don't know whether this is evidence that Paris is our rogue puppy-killer as well, but I do know this: that girl should never be allowed care of small children.

Source

Which Irresponsible Young Celebrity Is A Dog-Killer?

HerBadMother — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:23:00 GMT

For a gossip writer - or even just a super-keen gossip follower - blind items (so-called because the story keeps the reader 'blind' about the identity of the main characters) are like catnip. They are irresistible, they suck us in, and they get us all worked up, but usually with no pay-off. We almost never get confirmation of the real story behind a blind item: case in point is Ted Casablanca's infamous 'Toothy Tile,' the young male celebrity who won't come out of the closet, usually rumored to be Jake Gyllenhaal (sometimes Matthew McConaughey, tho' since he knocked a chick up that now seems doubtful), but forever unconfirmed. It's frustrating, because speculation about these stories is soooo much fun - but ultimately so unsatisfying because, well, we'll just never know if they're true.

HOWEVER. Casablanca's most recent blind item - a pretty gruesome story about a celebutard with a penchant for small dogs and a rumored inability to not, um, kill them - has the smell of a story that will (and should) soon go unblind, and so I must - I really must - cover it.

From Ted Casablanca:

Ellen DeGeneres’ canine catastrophe is chopped liver compared to today’s Blind job. First off, our source is one of the myriad personal employees reporting to one Slurpa Pop-Off, the bitch who serviced that dude in the bathroom of that Sunset Strip eatery, if you remember, and we’re sure you do.

Now, many times our lady of the Slurpa has brought a brand-new pooch home as a new pet, which she fawns all over until it dawns on the dummy she’s now in charge of a living, breathing animal—and not a stuffed Pound Puppy. And, gosh, responsibility is not our go-to girl’s strong suit. Therefore, upon leaving her house, she often locks these pups in one of her many closets, supposedly to prevent them from making messies all over her expensive pad.

But, uh, sometimes SPO would be gone for hours...days...weeks...and not tell anybody about the dog in its wardrobe dungeon. The animal’s existence would simply slip from her mind! Oh, doesn’t that happen to everybody? While cleaning the house, Pop-Off’s staff have—reportedly more than once—opened a closet to discover a tiny, dead dog.

Beyond hideous. I swear, I may have to out this bitch. But Pop-Off’s employees just may have beaten moi to the punch, as animal services have been alerted.

Commenters on the post are divided between Slurpa Pop-Off being Britney Spears (citing Casablanca's claim that "responsibility is not (her) strong suit") and Paris Hilton (because, you know, she's Paris Hilton. And, also, Casablanca's trademark 'And It Ain'ts' clues seem to point more closely to Paris than Britney.)

If it's Britney, then, holy hell, it's way for the best that she doesn't have charge of her kids anymore. But I doubt that it is Britney. Sounds more like Paris. And if it is, wow: someone needs to make sure that she's on some seriously strong birth-control, because she should not have children left in her care. Or dogs. Or gerbils. Or ANYTHING with more life in it than a Bratz doll.

I'm just WAITING for this story to go unblind. (Please, Ted? Out her?)

Source

Wicked! Paris Hilton Tries to Sell Photos of Nicole Richie's Oz-Themed Shower

sweatpantsmom — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 14:05:00 GMT

Here's a shocker - Paris Hilton can't be trusted. Hilton, who hosted a baby shower for frenemy Nicole Richie recently at the Beverly Hills Hotel, is now suspected of trying to sell photos from the party to the tabloids. Exclusive coverage was granted to InStyle magazine, but last week pirated photos of the Wizard of Oz-themed event were being offered to competing publications. And an insider thinks Hilton is behind it. "All the photos that were offered had Paris right in the center of them, as the star," says the source. "They look set up." That's not hot.

The pictures, which would have fetched between $3000 and $4000, never sold but the source says Hilton wasn't after the cash. "None of the money would have been for Paris — for her it's about the attention." I can't wait to see the pirated photos of Nicole giving birth, with Paris' smiling face right there next to the baby crowning.

[photo: JustJared]

Save the Date: Nicole Richie's Having A Baby Shower

Whit Honea — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:52:00 GMT

In Touch has somehow got their grubby little hands on the 'save the date' card sent out for Nicole Richie's baby shower. I don't think you really need to save the date. You're not invited. Don't worry, I'll sneak out coconut shrimp for everyone.

Photo: eBaby Zone

Photo: Just Jared

Children of Rwanda, Prepare to be Fabulous; Paris Hilton is On Her Way

sweatpantsmom — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 21:30:00 GMT

Philanthropist and rocket scientist Paris Hilton is packing her Louis Vuitton trunk and heading for Rwanda. As previously threatened, the heiress is heading to the impoverished nation with a children's charity, and hopes to make a difference, one thong at a time. Why? "I want to leave a mark on the world," says Paris. Get out the penicillin.

And in case you're thinking that Hilton actually has a human side to her, get this: She tells Newsweek that, like every other PR stint in her life, the entire trip wall be filmed. Why? "I love having everything documented. It shows people what everyday life is like for me, how hard I work." Yes, because compared to you, Paris, those Rwandan children are such a bunch of slackers.

Is it too late to stop this? Isn't this a matter of national security? I've been waiting for someone in the State Department to wake up and deny her a visa, or discover that it violates some part of the Geneva Convention. Better yet, let's send her on a last-minute hunting trip with Cheney.

[photo: USMagazine.com]

Britney Spears Sues Perez Hilton: We've All Been Mislead

Whit Honea — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:49:00 GMT

At the rate Britney Spears is going we'll be writing about her missing court dates for ever. Her label, Zamba Recording LLC, is now suing blogger Perez Hilton for:

"The unauthorized dissemination of recordings is a serious violation of copyright law," said a Zamba represntative. "In addition, posting demos and unfinished songs as if they were final versions is grossly unfair to the artist and misleading to the public."

See, the silent minority was right! Britney is a victim here. She isn't some crazy, habitual drug-using skank that apparently lost her talent with her mind. She's a hard-working performer and we were all mislead by Perez Hilton! I knew that guy was up to something, what with waving the gold watch and telling me I was getting sleepy. I just figured he ran out of roofies. I was flattered. Now I'm just mislead. That hurts.

Update: It looks like he's also being sued by that dude Sam that hangs out with Lilo.

Photo: ABC

Paris Hilton's Boots are Made for Babies

Whit Honea — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 19:06:00 GMT

...and that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots will baby all over you.

Paris Hilton dressed up and continued her search for the elusive baby she wants to have. She does know where babies come from, right?

I'm not sure when this photo was taken. I'm guessing sometime between Nicole getting pregnant and 5-minutes ago. It's just funny to me, in a scary sort of way.

Photo: Celebs and Bubs

Best Campaign Message Ever: Barack Obama and the Anti-Hilton

Whit Honea — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 20:58:00 GMT

"This isn't a Hilton hotel, is it?"

Presidential hopeful Barack Obama told Tyra Banks that his his 9-year-old daughter, Malia, will ask that question whenever they stay at a new hotel while touring the country. Apparently she watches the news and does not approve of one Miss Paris Hilton.

Look at Obama trying to rock the sane vote.

Maybe Malia should run for president.

Photo: Celebs and Bubs

Save The Children! From Paris Hilton, That Is

sweatpantsmom — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 14:05:00 GMT

Rwanda's violent past orphaned untold numbers of children who suffer from poverty and starvation. But the real threat we must confront and refuse to remain silent about lies in the impending arrival there of this Chanel-clad, feeble-minded heiress.

Paris Hilton is planning to travel to Rwanda in November supposedly attempting to carry out her vow to help others, a promise made after she was released from jail. "I'll be going...after I get back from filming my movie. There's so much need in that area, and I feel like if I go, it will bring more attention to what people can do to help."

Join me, won't you, in preventing this needless suffering. Dial 1-555-STOP-PARIS. Do it now. For the children.

[photo: People.com]

Paris Hilton Speaks: No Blonde Babies in My Entourage

sweatpantsmom — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 15:05:00 GMT

Paris Hilton wants to set the record straight - she won't be adopting four blonde babies. "That's retarded," she says. That's hot, say the rest of us. We're relieved - who knows where she was planning on getting those four blonde babies. I was about to call Sweden and tell them to lock their doors.

Paris also wants us to stop saying Entourage actor Adrian Grenier is her boyfriend, because he's not. He's just her mentor and a fellow person of substance. “Totally just friends...I think it’s cool to talk to someone in L.A. who has more to talk about than all this artificial crap people talk about. It’s nice to talk to someone who’s real.” That's great, but who does Adrian get to talk to?

[photo: Pacific Coast News for use on FameCrawler]

Paris Hilton Wants to Adopt 4 Girls: Pretty(ish) Orphans Only

Whit Honea — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 18:05:00 GMT

By now we've all heard that the end of times is upon us, meaning Paris Hilton wants to be a mom, and pronto. She is supposedly getting her body in shape for pregnancy, you know lots of dancing and Red Bull. Her desire to be a mom, however, does not end there. When Paris sets her mind to something she does it. Right? I'm sure she's done something.

According to TWN, she wants to adopt 4 little blond daughters, little versions of her from the orphanages of the world, saying she wants “mini versions of me.”

Adopting from Sweden, Switzerland and Denmark hasn't been done yet, by Brangelina or Madonna or any of the more popular adopters of our time. Paris may be a trend-setter in aiding the children of the worlds most affluent countries. I can just see them, sashaying down Robertson Blvd. like the Children of the Corn on some possessed shopping spree.

“Paris has been saying, ‘You don’t need a husband to have babies.’ There are babies in orphanages around the world, and she’s hoping to find four girls with blonde hair and pretty eye{s} to whom to give the Hilton name,” their source claims.

“She’s been telling people, ‘I want a brood of little mini versions of me. I’ll raise them to be the most famous women in the world.’” Like her? I hope that in 20 years there are still enough drugs and loose men to make that happen.

Photo: Celebutopia

Crimes Against Nature: Paris Hilton Prepares To Have a Baby Next Year

sweatpantsmom — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 13:05:00 GMT

I remember when I was little and watching a show on how mice sometimes ate their babies. I recall thinking how sad that was! How painful that must be! And if that continued there sure as hell wouldn't be any rodents left to test my shampoo and cosmetics on! I felt bad for all the unborn baby mice and the fate that awaited them at the hands of their mothers.

Funny, I felt the same way when I saw this story:

Paris Hilton, who last scared us by her close proximity to a small helpless creature and previous threats to procreate, now says that she hopes to become a mother by next year and is getting psyched-up to get knocked-up. The mother mouse - uh, I mean heiress - tells Elle Magazine "I want kids next year, so I've got to get my body ready." And Paris, while you're preparing don't forget the nest made from twigs and dryer lint.

Check out what Karen Rani has to say about Paris' latest accessory on Drool.icio.us

Paris Hilton: Stop Her Before She Cuddles Again

sweatpantsmom — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 13:05:00 GMT

Something's not right. There have been way too many pictures lately of Paris Hilton hugging on babies and in close proximity to vulnerable children. It just feels wrong and dangerous, like seeing Michael Vick frolicking in a yard full of puppies.

There's the scary thought, of course, that Paris is getting those maternal urges. We all know that this is the other love that dare not speak it's name. Although it is kind of cute how she's teaching that kid how to use the cell phone to order the help around.

[photos: Pacific Coast News for use on FameCrawler]

Paris Hilton: Invasion of the Body Snatch(er)

sweatpantsmom — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 14:05:00 GMT

Paris Hilton is seen here with one of her 'pod people' after taking over the soul of the young victim. Immediately after this picture was taken the little girl downed a Xanax, hopped behind the wheel of a Bentley and drove around town trying to get every first grade-boy to buy her a drink.

Seriously, what is wrong with this picture? Besides the fact that the kid's shoes clash terribly with her dress, what kind of idiotic parent let's their child emulate Paris Hilton? I can just hear it now, "Sweetie, put down that book about that homely crusader for women's rights and get your dress that makes you look like a saucy Vegas showgirl. There's a party at Kitson, and if we hurry you can meet your role model, a vacuous, unemployed ex-con with a knack for showing her panties."

[photo: Jeff Vespa/WireImage.com]

Paris Hilton With Baby, Scares the Crap Out of Everyone

sweatpantsmom — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 14:30:00 GMT

Things that scare me: Seeing my 11-year old daughter linger a little too long as we pass the window of a tattoo parlor, hearing my husband say he wants to "try a new look." And then there's this photo that turned my stomach and made me cry real tears. What's Paris Hilton doing holding a live, human baby? I thought for a minute that by some miracle she'd managed to hide a pregnancy and given birth, or had stolen one of Angelina's babies, or had bribed some lonely adoption official with a 'special backrub.'

And then, another scary thought: maybe Paris doesn't even know she's holding a baby. After one too many painkillers, maybe she thinks she's got a nice big Mai Tai nestled in her lap. I only hope someone stops her before she tries to take a gulp.

Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Paris

HerBadMother — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 20:34:00 GMT

So, if you're like me, you're probably looking at this picture and thinking, why is Paris Hilton terrorizing that toddler? The kid looks horrified, as well she should be, because it's Paris Hilton. She carries more strains of viral bacteria than an overcrowded daycare.

But as chilling as the idea of Paris playing with children is, in the case of this particular photo that is exactly what is going on. If you count 'posing' as 'playing,' that is.That kid isn't horrified - she's blinking against paprazzi lights while she poses with Paris, who is, apparently, her idol.

The kid is four. FOUR. Who encourages their four-year old to emulate Paris facking Hilton? Who lets their four year old within contagion distance of Paris Hilton? That kid's mother deserves a smack in the head.

(See the video here, but be warned: your soul will curl up at the edges.)

Nicole Richie Buys Baby Books, Will Learn to Read

Whit Honea — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 17:07:00 GMT

In Touch Weekly is reporting that Nicole Richie (pictured in a simpler and more peaceful time with Paris Hilton) and boyfriend, potential baby-daddy, Joel Madden, have been spotted buying baby books at a Barnes and Noble. They also state that Nicole has apparently given up alcohol and refuses to let friends smoke around her.

Looks like she'll have to come clean soon. Joel, however, will remain filthy dirty.

Nicole Sullivan Births Activist

Whit Honea — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 13:04:00 GMT

Nicole Sullivan, from Mad TV and King of Queens, takes a moment to share her baby, the dashing Dashel Pierce, her views, and I'm guessing her sense of humor, with the world. That baby is almost crying as much as Paris. Almost.

Paris Prison Watch: Over Before it Started

Whit Honea — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 17:29:00 GMT

Paris Hilton is out of jail. Already. It seems that she spent most of her time crying, not eating, and being cold. You know, jail. She only had threee blankets in a freezing cold cell. Remember, it is L.A. in the summertime. Temperatures have been know to dip below 70. They also didn't serve egg salad.

Hilton, otherwise known as Inmate #9818783 (look for the new series 'Beverly Hills 9818783' this fall) is being sent home with a longer sentence and an electronic bracelet. Accessories will follow. The official word is that she was sent home for "medical reasons" that were not explained further. I think she was sick of jail. It's not hot. Literally.

News of her release can't be good for wanna be paparazzi. There goes the nest egg. This is a segue, the topic money.

On the brightside it would appear that Paris has now found a new way to spend daddy's money (see). Sure, anyone can spend millions on clothes, drinks, drugs and a stupid dog, but only the hottest shopper can buy their way out of prison. So I've heard. Thanks Daddy!

UPDATE: On a side note, WTF?

UPDATE II: She's back in the pen. She sure cried about it.

Nicole Richie Also Considering Jail

Whit Honea — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 14:28:00 GMT

Nicole Richie, all 7 pounds of her (with glasses), made an appearance on Letterman last night to talk and, you know, be seen. Dave, ever the curious type, wanted to talk about everyone's favorite jailbird, Paris Hilton.

Nicole hasn't been able to visit Paris yet, but has spent hours trying to fit a file into a piece of celery for when that moment comes. I'm hypothesizing of course.

Letterman brought up the fact that Richie is having some legal trouble of her own, and may also be facing jail time. She answered, ""I'm just keeping my fingers crossed, and you know, of course, I'm scared also, but you know, I'm willing to face whatever consequences come my way and I take responsibility for what I've done." You know.

In Hollywood DUI is the new black, and Nicole may be a few steps behind Paris in following suit. What else is new? Said Richie about Hilton and the media attention surrounding her legal issues, "Sometimes people just get exploited. I can only hope that doesn't happen to me." Guess what? It's going to, just like you ~~don't~~ want.

I can't help but wonder if this is just another attempt by Nicole to "fit in" with the other kids. Rehab? Check. Pregnant? Maybe. Jail? Looking good. The only thing Nicole has going for her is that she would be able to leave jail anytime she wanted just by turning sideways and slipping through the bars.

Get it together girl, and for the love of Mike, eat something. No matter what your friend tells you, this mess, it ain't hot.

The Kids Are Alright

Whit Honea — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:04:00 GMT

It's the teens and up that are freaking nuts. According to the The Bakersfield Californian, the "tweeners", no relation to "tweakers", are the group of kids in the 8-12ish bracket, and they are not impressed with the pantyless coke-heads that are filling every aspect of the airwaves. I know, I know, we're talking about them too, but we're making fun of them. That's different.

Britney shaves her noggin and the kids don't go all Sinead on us, but instead question why she didn't donate her golden(?) locks to charity. Lohan gets busted, again, and the kids don't put three coats of cover-up on their freckles, no, they think she's stoopid {sic}. They're right.

Of course, these kids are still pretty influenced by their parents, but the outlook is promising. I hope they don't outgrow the sense to keep it real. You know how they do.