Dancing With The Stars: The Odd Lineup is Announced

sweatpantsmom — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 22:45:00 GMT

Something about Penn Jillette, with all his ponytailed smugness, being cast on the next season of Dancing With The Stars just doesn't seem right. Then again, I've never actually watched an episode of the show all the way through, so what do I know. I never thought American Idol would make it past the first season, either.

Here's the entire lineup. As you can tell, I need to study up on my celebrities:

Telenovela star Cristian de la Fuente (Who?)

R&B singer Mario (Again - Who?)

Magician Penn Jillette (See snide remarks above)

Actor Steve Guttenberg (Has he actually been in anything since "Police Academy"?)

Olympic Gold Medal Figure Skater Kristi Yamaguchi (She'll win.)

Former tennis pro Monica Seles (Don't think she will.)

NFL Player Jason Taylor (Is he married to Angie Harmon? Oh wait - that's Jason Sehorn.)

Actress Shannon Elizabeth (Pictured above right, but still – Who? What?)

Radio/TV personality Adam Carolla (Dr. Drew would have been better.)

Actress Marissa Jaret Winokur (Can they cast some people who I don't have to look up on Wikipedia for chrissakes.)

Oscar-winning actress Marlee Matlin (I loved "Children of a Lesser God"! Hey - they totally need to cast William Hurt.)

Actress Priscilla Presley (Pictured, above left, Michael Jackson's ex-mother-in-law!)

Thriller! Michael Jackson's Kids Finally Unmasked

Kristi Yamaguchi on Dancing With the Stars?

[photo: People.com]

Mario Lopez Says He Didn't Impregnate Britney Spears But He's Not Sure About the Other Fifty Girls He Sat On While Wearing This Outfit

sweatpantsmom — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 14:05:00 GMT

Mario Lopez is stepping forward to say he was not the father of the baby that Britney Spears supposedly miscarried earlier this year. Lopez, an Extra correspondent and ex-Dancing With The Stars contestant, says the rumors are unfounded. "This particular headline with Britney and the baby… it is laughable.” Sorry Mario, but I didn't hear a word you said - I was too busy trying to will that red cloth to fall down.

Who am I kidding? Britney could have gotten pregnant by a million other guys, including K-Fed or the local Starbucks barista who got on her good side by topping all her Frappuccinos with a dusting of cocaine. But I couldn't find any pictures of them baring a nicely-tanned ass-cheek, so I decided to write about Mario today. It's sort of like the casting couch, except with naughty pictures and bloggers.

FameCrawler : Mario

Dancing With The Stars: The Odd Lineup is Announced

Mario Lopez Says He Didn't Impregnate Britney Spears But He's Not Sure About the Other Fifty Girls He Sat On While Wearing This Outfit