FameCrawler : Preston

Spying on the Neighbors: 9-24-08

Whit Honea — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 23:01:00 GMT

Too. Much. TV. I need another TiVo.

The Federline boys at the zoo (Celebs and Bubs)

Quotable Costner (Celebrity Baby Scoop)

Nicole Richie visits a shelter (Hollyscoop)

Tom Brady is in shopping shape (Jezebel)

Jennifer Garner is hands on (Gossip Girls)

McCain needs a break (Perez Hilton)

Wilco the vote (Scanner)

"Team Britney" Steals My Pet Name for FameCrawler

Whit Honea — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 23:34:00 GMT

Welcome to Team Britney, bitches. The only thing sadder than the mess Britney Spears has made of her life is a group of people denying that it is happening. Team Britney, aka the board of Taco Bell shareholders, is a collection of Britney fans (judging by the photo I'd say it's a collection of all the Britney fans) that feel the star is being unfairly treated.

They also feel that the Holocaust never happened and that the moon landing was filmed in Burbank.

Membership is open to anyone with a love of Britney and a firm grasp on denial. That ain't a river, y'all.

Please send all dues and donations to FameCralwer, attn: Free $$ Department.

Photo: Britney Groupie

K-Fed's Got A New Baby-Mama?

HerBadMother — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 15:03:00 GMT

A guy can't be all about suing for custody and playing with his kids, you know. A dude's gotta get some. But dude should, really, make sure that he's got himself, um, covered. A guy going through a messy custody battle's got his hands too full to risk any, you know, accidents.

If anyone needed more evidence that the former Mr. Britney Spears is, indeed, sharing some quality time with ~~that sex-tape chick who shared Colin Farrell's dick with the world~~ Nicole Narain, X17 has the video evidence.The two lovebirds, it seems, may have spent the night together and may have been installing car seats together as well. X17 takes this to mean that K-Fed may be test-driving a new baby-mama. I take it to mean that he likes his women to work - no leaving to the heavy lifting to the man, y'all. He's got a reputation to uphold.

And in any case, if anything could put the ice-chill on a man's sperm-producing machinery, it would be the experience of having children with Britney Spears. If K-Fed decides to have more kids, with anyone, then he's stupider than he looks.

K-Fed Fears Britney May Kill the Federline Boys

Whit Honea — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:33:00 GMT

Superdad Kevin Federline is afraid that Britney and all her crazy may be a real hazard to the lives of his sons. According to Fed-Ex's girlfriend Nicole Narain he has said the following:

“Britney’s behavior has already put our kids at risk and I can’t let things get any worse. She’s lost all grasp on reality and is dragging the children through hell. Her mood swings are now so wild that I live in fear of getting a call telling me that she has killed herself. I can’t allow her to have custody because I seriously believe she could harm our sons. I’ve shared her life and I know she’s capable of anything with pills and a few drinks inside her.”

Narain goes on to say that the last straw causing Kevin to file for divorce was when he found Britney breastfeeding Jayden while she (Spears) was wasted on vodka.

Is Kevin just now having these fears? Welcome to our world, Federline.

Photo: Celebutopia

Big Gain for Big Losers

Whit Honea — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 11:48:00 GMT

Matt Hoover and Suzy Preston, who met on the weight-loss show The Biggest Loser in which they both dropped massive amounts of weight, now have an even bigger challenge and joy in their lives, a baby.

Rex Timothy was born on June 23. "The whole pregnancy thing is overrated, but I'm really excited about being a mom!" Suzy told In Touch.

Good luck Suzy on getting the bod back in shape. Again.

Photo: Ken Sax

Travolta Admits His Family is Weird

Whit Honea — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 11:02:00 GMT

John Travolta tells his secrets for avoiding the paparazzi in a new interview with Parade Magazine, due out this coming Sunday. He says that he and his family have taken to living life at off hours. He must be under the assumption that the paparazzi don't read Parade (he's probably right).

"We're like the Addams family or the Munsters, living sort of an odd, nocturnal life... my kids probably stay up too late. My wife goes to bed around three, and I follow around seven," he said in an interview conducted at 2 in the morning, which is way after most Parade readers go to bed.

"Right now, there's just you and me, and no one interfering in our space," he said.

Of course he meant outer space, but that's a given.

Kelly Preston & Ella Bleu Travolta: Waiting for Aliens at LAX?

Whit Honea — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 17:07:00 GMT

Kelly Preston and daughter Ella Bleu Travolta were spotted at LAX, possibly returning from their trip to Hawaii or a church function in outer space. Noticably absent is son Jett, who is probably off somewhere not being autistic. Also not present is John Travolta, who may still be on the mother ship, or in the can.

Welcome to Earth y'all!

John Travolta to Autism: Up Your Nose With a Rubber Hose

Whit Honea — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 15:07:00 GMT

John Travolta, being crazy, is apparently in denial about his son Jett, 15, whom everyone on this planet believes is autistic. Travolta and wife Kelly Preston are Scientologists, and as such they believe that disorders like autism are curable by giving more ~~money~~ of oneself to the church.

Sounds healthy doesn't it? Hey son, you don't have a serious disorder, you just need to give more to ... um, the aliens? Rumor has it that it also cures depression.

In related news, the couple has announced that they want to have another child. Hopefully, number three won't have any ailments that need to be ignored.