FameCrawler : Scientologists

Will Smith Will Never Divorce Jada

Karen — Wed, 28 May 2008 21:14:00 GMT

On Monday, Will Smith was a guest on Ellen and the pair discussed marriage. WIll and Jada have been married 10 years, which sadly, is unheard of in Hollywood.

"It's like dog years when you're married here," she said. "That's like 50 years, right?

"What I found is divorce just can't be an option," Smith said. "It's really that simple. And I think that's the problem with L.A. – there are so many options. So a huge part of the success for [Jada] and I is that we just removed the other options."

So how does the couple do it? "We're like listen, we're going to be together one way or the other so we might as well try to be happy," he said.

I think more families could take a page from their book! They really are a lovely family.

Katie Holmes' New Haircut: Fug, Or Just Sorta Fug?

HerBadMother — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 20:04:00 GMT

Ah, Katie Holmes' bob. Remember that? Sure, it aged her, but it aged her in a kind of sophisticated, Anna Wintourish kinda way. Her new haircut, on the other hand? Ages her in that not-so-sophisticated, older-soccer-mom-from-Des-Moines kinda way.

Seriously, no? Is she trying to morph into Tom? WAIT - maybe this is actually a picture of Tom in Katie's clothes.

What do you think? Katie gone fug, or Tom in drag?

Source

Tom Cruise The Next Spock?

What Pretty Celebrity Mom Is Hitting The Stage?

Katie Holmes is Alive!

Will Smith: Happy To Be Normal

HerBadMother — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 14:31:00 GMT

Look that big ol' Willie Smith grin. That's the grin of a happy dad, proud to be out with his gorgeous kids.

That's also the smile of a man who doesn't give two hoots about whether he gets to rub Vulcan ears with Leonard Nimoy, which puts him miles ahead of Tom Cruise in the celebrity race for psychological well-being. Keep it up, Will. Keep it up.

Source

Tom Cruise The Next Spock?

HerBadMother — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 13:05:00 GMT

Its almost too perfect to be true: Tom Cruise playing an alien being with strange beliefs and customs and a funny haircut on the big screen? Wouldn't that be, like, somebody just putting up that Scientology promo video for motion picture release?

Pleeeeeeeeeze, gods, let this be true: Tom Cruise reportedly wants a role in the new Star Trek movie.

He's been visiting the set, apparently, hanging around and nagging director JJ Abrams about meeting Leonard Nimoy. Sources say that Tom isn't cast in the movie - cameo-like or otherwise - and in any case, I have too much respect for JJ Abrams to believe that he'd ruin a perfectly good movie about space and aliens by throwing Tom Cruise in it and breaking that fourth wall. BUT STILL: the idea that Tom Cruise wants in - and that he's wetting his panties at the prospect of meeting Leonard Nimoy - is just too sweet to let go.

Whatever. I'll be he's done his own fan-fic home movies - Katie as Uhura and Suri as their half-vulcan offspring - on hi-def video. Someday, those'll get leaked to YouTube. And that will be an awesome day.

Source

Katie Holmes, Is That You? "Anonymous" Declares War on Scientology

sweatpantsmom — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 02:35:00 GMT

Tom Cruise, you've been served. An internet vigilante group calling itself "Anonymous" has declared war on the Church of Scientology. Reacting to the recent pulling of the Tom Cruise/Scientolofreak videos from YouTube, the group is retaliating against what they are calling internet censorship. The Church of Scientology is currently pursuing a lawsuit against website Gawker for copyright infringement for their posting of the videos.

"Anonymous" includes computer experts that are already known for causing internet mischief. In recent days the group has defaced websites for local chapters of the Church of Scientology and has also fax-spammed those same offices. To explain their campaign against Scientology, the group has posted a YouTube video putting the Church on notice:

"Over the years, we have been watching you, your campaigns of misinformation, your suppression of dissent, your litigious nature. All of these things have caught our eye.

"We shall proceed to expel you from the Internet and systematically dismantle the Church of Scientology in its present form."

I was hoping there would be some threats to kidnap Katie from the mothership and release her back on earth.

Click HERE to see the video.

[photo: People.com]

Bad Money: Critics Pan Katie Holmes Latest Performance

sweatpantsmom — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 20:35:00 GMT

The critics have spoken, and they're not fans of Katie Holmes' 'comeback' performance in the new comedy Mad Money. The film, which also stars Queen Latifah and Diane Keaton, was being touted as Holmes' first return to the big screen since marrying Tom Cruise and giving birth to daughter Suri. Looks like Tom's latest on-screen performance is the one to watch these days.

In one of the more caustic reviews, a New York Post critic calls the movie “the most cringe-making return since Love Boat: The Next Wave" and saves his harshest criticism for Mrs. Cruise. “Holmes, with Alice Cooper hair and crazy Jim Carrey eyes, looks terrible and acts worse, unless this movie is unintentionally a lobotomy documentary,” the reviewer writes. “Whatever could have happened to her in the last couple of years to zap the talent out of her like this?”

I haven't seen the movie, but judging by the trailers I have to agree. Did anyone see Holmes in her well-reviewed film Pieces of April? Rent this movie, and tell me that the girl hasn't been brainwashed and talent-washed since then.

[photo: USmagazine.com]

Tom Cruise Scares The Crap Out Of Me

sweatpantsmom — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 22:15:00 GMT

Forget Cloverfield, Saw IV, The Eye - those 'scary' movies are nothing compared to the creepfest that is Tom Cruise accepting his Freedom Medal of Valor award. Watch as he tells all us lost souls how he saved America after 9/11 - without even asking for permission! See the freakishly possessed look in his eyes! See the hands gesturing menacingly! Run for your lives!

If you want to give yourself a good scare I suggest you pull up your chair, pour yourself a nice cup of Thetan tea and watch the entire video. I wonder how many tasers it takes to stop an out-of-control Scientologist?

UPDATE: The video I wanted to post has been pulled from YouTube by evil underlords, but you can view it on Gawker and Defamer. Go. Now.

David Beckham is Spicy, Let's Call Him "Ab Spice"

Whit Honea — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 19:20:00 GMT

Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Spice, went on Larry King the other night and said all the things that she's said before about the "band" and the fact that she and David have no desire to become Scientologists, yada, yada, yada.

The main thing that came out of the interview was that she referred to her husband as a "Spice Boy." WTF? How's that feel, Becks?

Man, if my wife went on national television and called me something emasculating like that I would be all, "Whoa! My freakin' wife is on national television! Sweet!" and then I'd be yelling at the kids to find the remote so I can hit record on the TiVo, but when she got home I would be like, "Hey, why you gotta call me a pussy on TV?"

So anyway, Ab Spice? You like it?

Photo: People

Katie Holmes' Ho-Ho-Horrific Pants

HerBadMother — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 17:02:00 GMT

Is this an effort by Katie Holmes to be hip, or to get into the holiday spirit? Either way, it looks like she's in pain. Those skinny jeans cutting off your circulation, Katie? There's a reason why Santa wears baggy red trousers held up by suspenders - he knows that there's nothing worse than numb thighs and a pinched crotch.

By the way, do Scientologists even celebrate Christmas? Or is there, like, a Thetan-free version of Kwanzaa or something? God, it must just suck to live in the Cruise household.

Source

From the WTF Files: Suri Cruise Has $3,000 Shoes

sweatpantsmom — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 18:35:00 GMT

Feeling guilty about buying your kid those fifty-dollar Nikes? This'll make you feel better: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have paid cobbler-to-the-stars Christian Louboutin $2500 to have a mold made of daughter Suri's feet. The mold will be used to hand-craft footwear to exact specifications - for an additional charge of $500 to $5,000 a pair. That means 18-month old Suri will soon be kicking around in a pair of shoes that will cost at least $3,000. Damn - that's more than Lions For Lambs made.

I guess once you're as filthy rich as Tom and Katie, you're just looking for ways to throw away your money. I hear they also ordered a nice pair of slippers for their goldfish.

[photo: People.com]

What is Spicy and Crazy and Flies all Over?

Whit Honea — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 21:58:00 GMT

Hollywood kook John Travolta wants to pilot some fancy-ass jet that the Spice Girls are leasing for their upcoming (finally) tour. That's a lot of celebrity parents on that plane.

Travolta is so excited about the idea he may pull his weave out. "It sounds like an amazing plane. I have been flying since 1974 so maybe I could help out. I was always desperate to be a pilot..."

According to Expo Say:

Earlier this week, it was revealed the band - Victoria Beckham, Mel B, Emma Bunton, Mel C and Geri Halliwell - are leasing a Boeing 757 for the duration of their hotly-anticipated tour.

The outside of the jet will be adorned with official Spice Girls reunion artwork, while the interior will boast a creche and a make-up parlor.

The 757 will transport the girls - all of whom are mothers apart from Mel C - their families, management, wardrobe, make-up artists and bodyguards from venue to venue.

A source said: "'Spice Force One' will be a flying palace."

Sounds like the Titanic. I love the unwarranted poke at Mel C. for not being a mom. What's your deal Sporty?

So what do you think? Should they hire Travolta?

Smells to me like Tom Cruise is using his toupeed henchman to work the Beckhams from a different angle- the 'your life is in my hands' angle. I'm not big on that one.

Photo: Popnography

The Great Escape: I Wonder if Katie Holmes' Friend Has Seen Fletch

Whit Honea — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 21:50:00 GMT

You've seen Fletch, right? It's a classic. In the movie they use the old switchero. Find someone about the same build, dress them in similar clothing and toss them someplace where they'll be hard to identify. It happens.

I'm not saying that Katie Holmes is planning to off her friend, but I think she may be working on a pretty elaborate escape plan. Look at these pictures and decide for yourself.

Photos: Celebutopia

If Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri Ran the Zoo

Whit Honea — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 18:17:00 GMT

Katie and the Cruisers visited the Berlin Zoo recently. Tom made sure to wear his leather jacket, just to let the animals know who was boss (Why don't they have cows in zoos? They're just as exotic to the city as a zebra.) . Suri opted for the security of a blanket, ala Linus.

How would you like to see a really cute picture of the little peanut?

See. Cute, right? That pink butterfly on her head sure is friendly.

If they ran the zoo, I doubt that Katie and the Cruisers would go as crazy as Gerald McGrew, but then again I doubt Gerald McGrew would be as crazy as they are. Anything is possible I suppose- except for a Bippo-No-Bungus or a Tizzle-Top-Tufted Mazurka of course. I'm a little iffy on the Xenu as well.

Photo: Pacific Coast News for use on FameCrawler

The Just Like Us I Never Thought I'd Write: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes

Whit Honea — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 13:10:00 GMT

Pretend they didn't just fall out of D.H. Lawrence novel, and you've got the makings of a fairly normal family vacation. The shores of Sardinia find a mom getting sun and a dad terrifying his child. You know, vacation.

Click below for more pictures.

Photos: Celebs and Bubs

Brooke Shields Chooses Satanism Over Scientology

Whit Honea — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 18:01:00 GMT

Brooke Shields was out rockin' the other night, flashing the sign of the devil and consuming booze. Obviously the kindness of Tom Cruise has fallen on deaf ears. She should really wear earplugs when attending concerts.

Joining her in this evening of debauchery were her husband, Chris, and daughters, Grier and Rowan. Apparently they were off preparing the goat, or possibly getting some popcorn.

Travoltas Use Lots of Hairspray

Whit Honea — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 22:31:00 GMT

Here's a picture of everyone's favorite wig-wearing, dress-wearing, crazy actor, Mr. John Travolta, at the premiere of his new gay movie which isn't gay, Hairspray. The funny thing is that Travolta wears wigs and dresses in the film too. What are the odds?

He should have worn a dress to the premiere. What's up with Kelly Preston and Ella Bleu looking all pretty and John sporting jeans? I think I know.

Nicole Kidman Keeps in Touch With Kids Via Scientology Communicator

sweatpantsmom — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 23:05:00 GMT

Here's Nicole Kidman cheering her kids on at a soccer game, using a rare electrical device extracted from the tomb of L. Ron Hubbard. She's totally excited, you just can't tell.

Actually, Kidman is shown here contemplating a Nintendo DS Lite. The Stepford Wife was recently hired by the game company to rep them in an upcoming campaign for their Brain Training 2 game. Kidman was a little confused in this shot and is attempting to use the stylus as a microphone to speak to husband Keith Urban. She was heard whispering, "Listen asshole, I do not 'just lay there' while you do all the work."

By the way, I don't think Kidman's a Scientologist, but her kids are being raised in the church by ex-husband Tom Cruise. You know, the guy who's pissing off Germany.