FameCrawler : US Weekly Magazine

Suri Cruise Does Not Have Typical Parents

Karen — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 16:34:00 GMT

Suri Cruise, cute as a button, is the cover girl for this week's US Weekly. Inside, the secrets of Scientology parenting are revealed:

- Suri was never fed breastmilk or formula, she was given a mixture of barley water, corn syrup and milk, as advocated by L. Ron Hubbard.

- Suri is too young to take classes at the Scientology Center, but is constantly surrounded by believers, including nannies. “Tom doesn’t like associating with people who aren’t Scientologists,” says an insider.

- Instead of scolding or time outs, Suri is told that negative behaviour is the "wrong action."

- Tom and Katie are very lenient and don't impose many rules on Suri. They try to please her.

The article closes calling Tom and Katie "typical parents." Typical for what? Living under rainbows and eating sunshine sandwiches?

Truthfully, I think Suri is very well cared for and it's no secret that her parents love her very much, and who are we to judge about the differences in parenting here? The only thing I find issue with is the diet as a baby. Yikes. Breast is best, Katie.

Sean Preston Federline Gets US Weekly Cover

HerBadMother — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:03:00 GMT

Nice. I suppose that we can expect Jayden James' cover to carry the headline Mommy Why Are You Such A Drug-Addled Tart?

Classy, US Weekly. Real classy.

People's Hot Mama Spread Worthy of Playboy. In a Way.

BadKitty — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 15:37:00 GMT

First, Holy Cow! What is Katie Holmes smuggling in those pants? Seriously, she could fit Suri in there. I haven't seen plaid maxi-pants like that since my mom wore them in the seventies! And her hair was cut the same way as Katie's here. I guess the seventies are going to be really in now. Fashion terror alert level: Unflattering Shag.

In addition to sartorial madness, this picture demonstrates the only reason a sane person might select People over Us Weekly, if one were forced to make the gut-wrenching choice of only reading one.

If Us is the friend who tells you when your skirt is tucked in your underwear (and got you drunk in the first place) then People is a bland, blonde sorority girl who gets her thank you notes out on time. Who needs, or wants, a bunch of pious human interest stories about the non-famous? But People gets first quality photos, with the extra frame that no one else has. Kind of like a Playboy exclusive, only with less nipple action, unless Maggie Gyllenhaal is involved.

This week they put together another super cool photo essay, The Moms of Summer, giving you fresh angles on Julia, Sheryl, Angelina, Mariska, Jen (Garner), Heidi Klum, Gwen, Debra and Jenny McCarthy, along with their super cute kids. And in Gwen's case, super cute husband Gavin.

Thanks, People. You're still second choice, but it's nice to see you trying so hard to be cool. Loosen up a little, start a feud with someone, maybe talk a little more smack, and we could get a real 'bloid war going with Us. Or you could go the other way, start publishing some nudie candids, and take on Playboy for real. Your call.

Photo Credit: People

Celebrity Mommy and Baby Look-Alikes

Whit Honea — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 15:59:00 GMT

Us Weekly has a nifty slide show that compares baby pictures of celebrities with those of their offspring, for example Jennifer Garner and Violet Affleck (I can see it). It's a little 'do they look like their mommy' sort of thing. We're talking Hollywood here, wouldn't the real money be in seeing if they look like their daddy- you know, to make sure it is their daddy.

Jennifer Garner and Violet Affleck Could Pass for Normal

Whit Honea — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 11:01:00 GMT

Jennifer Garner, and her lovely daughter Violet Affleck, 18 months, seem about as normal as the rest of us. Well, most of us. They seem pretty good at keeping it real.

This family vacation, with Matt Damon and his family, has allowed for some great bonding with Violet, as well as some excellent playtime on the beach with BFF Isabella, Damon's daughter with Luciana Bozan.

Us Weekly has quoted Garner as saying, "Violet is the most beautiful thing. Just that she exists and I get to hang out with her. There's no one who is more fun."

I know exactly how you feel Jenn, but with my kids of course. Nothing personal. Violet seems swell.

Lady Madonna and the Immaculate David

Whit Honea — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 19:29:00 GMT

Us Weekly has a great feature with some of today's biggest celebrity babies. Here's David Ritchie, 21 months, son of Madonna, 48, and Guy Ritchie, 38.

According to the magazine's source, young David is already getting equal parts culture and brainwashing. He gets a healthy dose of museums and parks, and the medicine to that sugar would be hours of "learning" through the principles of Kabbalah's Spirituality for Kids program. Sounds like loads of fun.

Grim Julia Roberts Spotted in LA, America Reacts With Shrug "Big Enough To See From Outer Space"

BadKitty — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 14:26:00 GMT

Periodically People or US Magazine or some other "news" source will publish a photo of the increasingly pregnant Julia Roberts. Here she is at 9 months pregnant, about to drop that baby on a street corner. But for some reason her pregnancy, and really her existence, is now met with a collective "Mmmm, that's nice. Hey, look over there, fresh donuts!"

Has America has fallen out of love with our former sweetheart? We just can't get enough of Salma's amazing pair and Bridget Moynahan's situation is endlessly fascinating. It's the first time for both of them, so maybe Julia's just experiencing the Doldrums of the Subsequent Pregnancy where you don't get a baby shower or even a party and the kid's baby book has a lot of blank pages.

Of course, Salma and Bridget are both still famous and appear professionally in public. Unless Julia can come up with something interesting, like the baby daddy is really George Clooney, proving once and for all that he really plays for the home team (Julia counts as home team, doesn't she? She's no gay icon like Madonna, right?) or maybe a hit movie, then she's seconds away from a serious career hiatus.

Plus, I'm sure she's hot and uncomfortable, but man, would it kill her to crack a smile, ever? Maybe that could make us care again. Eh, maybe not.

Grey’s Anatomy’s Justin Chambers: Pact with Devil or Just Good Grooming

BadKitty — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 03:13:00 GMT

Former Calvin Klein model and current fake TV doctor Justin Chambers is also the father of five – count ‘em, FIVE – kids ranging from eleven to six. Usually when they mention his many children in stories, there is a quick pause to have an “Mmmm, virile!” moment, then everyone moves to the latest machinations on Grey’s Anatomy.

According to his IMDB bio, Justin is a twin, and two of his five are twins, but that’s a lot of kids to pack into seven or so years of gestation. You might have guessed that he’s so pretty because his wife does all the dirty work, but no, Keisha is hot too!

Do the Chambers have a pair of Dorian Gray paintings hidden in their attic, getting more wrinkled with each passing year, dark circles more pronounced with every sleepless night? Because with five kids, you know there have been many sleepless nights, plus fights over homework, conflicting dance class schedules and earsplitting dinner debates. At least one of them should look exhausted.

Maybe Justin and Keisha have good genes and spend a lot on product. Or bathe in virgin’s blood daily. I’m just saying, it’s hard for most parents to look clean and awake, never mind make the US Weekly Hot Hollywood Style. Maybe Mary Hart needs to skip the Isaiah Jackson questions next time and ask Justin for his beauty secrets.