FameCrawler : Vanilla Ice

Miley Cyrus Aspires To Superstardom, Sex Books And Malawi-Orphan Adoption

HerBadMother — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 19:34:00 GMT

Actually, I think that she probably just wants to do a video with Justin Timberlake. Why else would she aspire to be like Madonna?

Oh, right. The pop-iconic status, the gajillions of dollars. Too bad it comes with questionable taste in clothes, a fake British accent, and a history of humping Vanilla Ice and publishing the evidence. Oh, and a penchant for writing really banal children's books. It doesn't get much worse than that.

But Miley's insistent: "Madonna always reinvents herself, and that's what I want to do. Whatever comes my way that sounds good, that's what I want to do. Whether it's designing clothes or photography or whatever." Or wearing hideous purple leotards in videos. Tonguing Britney Spears. Sleeping with Yankees. Whatever.

Reach higher, Miley. Please.

Source

Vanilla Ice Arrested, Baby

Whit Honea — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 19:28:00 GMT

Some things never change, take the douche baggery of Vanilla Ice for instance. Sure, he's traded in the Hammeresque pants for county orange and grown some facial hair, but other than that it's business as usual at Casa del Ice.

Once again Vanilla, aka Robert Van Winkle, has been booked on domestic battery charges. Apparently Ice has a way with the ladies, and it's a bad one.

A judge has ordered that he stay away from his wife, whom he allegedly punched and kicked (she later said it was a push) while shopping for furniture. Damn, I bet the people in Sofa King were freaking out, and not just regular freaking out, but Sofa King freaking out.

He is allowed to contact her via telephone, but is only allowed to contact his child(ren?) through a third party. No word as to whether or not Jamie Lynn Spears will be at that party.

Photo: The Smoking Gun

Madonna's Got A Better Kind Of Birth Control

HerBadMother — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 17:03:00 GMT

Guy Ritchie looks pretty nervous in this picture. Any guesses why?

If you guessed, "Because Madonna just purchased a giant Purple Penetrator and means to use it," you'd be correct.

Anybody who ever doubted that it's Madonna who wears the ~~strap-on~~ pants in that family should now just accept the truth: Guy Ritchie is Madonna's bitch. I'm willing to bet that if she could impregnate him with that thing, she would. But that would get in the way of saving the world through untrammeled adoption, so maybe not. Still, she probably grabs him with those man-hands of hers and makes him call her Daddy. Messed up? Sure. But is it any more messed up than humping Vanilla Ice? I thought not.

(photo credit - JustJared)