FameCrawler : age

Madonna's French Kiss: Madge Gone Wild

Whit Honea — Wed, 07 May 2008 23:06:00 GMT

Madonna kissed one of her female dancers during a recent show in Paris. Yes, it was a 'French kiss,' when in Rome and all that.

To be honest, I can't say that I give a crap, but the AP has decided to run with it so I'll play along.

Is this sending a mixed message to Madonna's children, her husband, or the adoption board(s)? Should she act her age and not her cup size?

By the way, this is the kind of stuff Madonna's family does while she dry humps the guitar player. Different worlds, Madge, different worlds.

Photo: AP Photo/Jacques Brinon

Source

Jamie Lynn Spears Hit in Mouth: An Open Letter

Whit Honea — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 18:20:00 GMT

Dear Jamie,

Perhaps you know that the National Enquirer ran a story about your shenanigans last week in which a bunch of drunks were fighting at a party and you threw your pregnant ass in the ruckus and took an elbow in the kisser. If not, this is what they said:

“Jamie Lynn decided she could break it up, but got elbowed hard in the mouth by one of the boys. She went crazy, screaming at everyone… crying, screaming and covering her mouth. Casey (Aldridge) was so drunk, he just kept trying to hush her up. Lynne Spears called Jamie Lynn and bitched her out for going. Jamie Lynn’s dad Jamie called Casey and told him if anything happens to his daughter, he will have to deal with him.”

Why, Jamie, is it starting to feel like I've seen your life before? Between your sister Britney and the collective catalog of COPS you are oddly comforting in your familiarity.

I was shocked when you announced you were pregnant. I was amused when you were featured in Hustler, though to be honest it wasn't very funny, and I was indifferent to your recent act of going postal.

Then why is it that I feel obligated to write you about this latest incident? What line did you cross that teen pregnancy, porn magazines and the United States Postal Service fail to meet?

The thing is that your latest action only amplified the obvious, you don't make very good decisions, and while the prior mistakes, be they footwear (seriously, what's up?), Casey Aldridge, or picking Nickelodeon over Disney, have had their respective consequences, none of them put your baby at risk.

That's what you did by jumping in between a group of drunk boys fighting. Actually, that's what you did when you agreed to go into a room full of drunk boys to begin with.

You are young and plenty has been made about your age, your family and so on. The bottom line is that regardless of the path that brought you here, here you are, and you need to start taking the necessary precautions to make sure this is the beginning of something wonderful and not just another sad saga in the Spears storyline.

Sincerely,

Whit

No, Candy Spelling did not help me write this. It was just me, 8 cups of coffee and spell check.

Photo: Celebutopia

Katie Holmes' Battle With Scientology

Karen — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:04:00 GMT

According to the latest issue of New Idea magazine, Katie Holmes is at odds with husband Tom Cruise over her "desperate plans to have another baby as soon as possible."

The magazine claims Katie "has her heart set on giving Suri a little playmate."

The publication further reports that Katie has sought the advice of an L.A. fertility clinic, depsite protests from the Scientologists Elders and controlling husband Tom Cruise.

There Is NO WAY Katie Holmes Is Pregnant

Karen — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 18:02:00 GMT

Katie Holmes, dressed head to toe in a slinky gun-metal grey dress, let the dress squash any pregnancy rumors at the 10th Annual Costume Designers Guild Awards held at the Beverley Wilshire Hotel last night.

(another pic and pregnancy rumors after the jump!)

Rumors flew late last month when Katie bought a bunch of baby blankets in pink and blue. A source close to the stars tried to set the truth straight: "hey, can't a girl buy some baby clothes for friends?"

It is believed the blankets are for Jennifer Lopez's babies, due to arrive ~~any day now~~ today?

Katie Holmes: Wishful Thinking?

Karen — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 16:02:00 GMT

Normally Kate is dressed in figure flattering, tailored outfits, but this maternity-esque shirt has me guessing one of three things:

1) She's looking for the rumor mill to churn out a few "Is Katie Pregnant" stories (likely);

2) She's studying to be a hairdresser and liked the chic apron;

3) Tom has injected her with LRH/alien spermies and she actually is pregnant a la Rosemary's Baby.

What's with all the smirking today?

Katie Holmes' Lonely Valentine's Days

Karen — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 17:03:00 GMT

~~Willy Wonka~~ Katie Holmes recently revealed that she never celebrated Valentine's Day because she wasn't popular among boys. The Mad Money star told the press,

"I went to an all-girls school and every Valentine's Day they would announce who had flowers in the office,” she said.

"My name was never called – never."

Well those boys are probably kicking themselves now -- you're married to the "Biggest Star in Hollywood!*"

* another quote from Katie. I do not drink the Scientology water. Apparently it isn't exactly age-defining.