FameCrawler : brit

Britney Spears' Va-Jay-Jay Hacked

HerBadMother — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 00:04:00 GMT

Yeah, you read that right. Britney's nether regions got hacked, right into Facebook.

Somebody - somebody with waaaaay too much time on their hands - managed to hack into Britney's Facebook account - the real one - and post an update about her vagina. Specifically:

Hi Yall! Brit Brit here, just wanted to update you all on the size of my vagina. Its about four feet wide with razor sharp teeth.

(Britney has vagina dentata? COOL.)

Which, you know, is kind of funny and all - if you've never given birth, that is, in which case you were, for a moment, kind of horrified at the possibly that maybe, just maybe - apart from that four feet part (but four inches? MAYBE), and apart from the teeth, unless you take 'teeth' as a bad euphemism for 4th degree tear stitches - that it was true.

Source

Britney's Hidden Messages: Bringing New Meaning To The Term 'MILF'

HerBadMother — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 17:38:00 GMT

I wouldn't have thought that Britney was quite so clever as to slip coded messages into her songs, but apparently she is. That, or her producers are that clever. Someone is, anyway, because there are some clever plays on words in some of the songs on the soon-to-be-released Circus, and they spell out N.A.U.G.H.T.Y.

For example, say the title of one of her tracks out loud: If U Seek Amy. Say it again. Get it?

You can listen to it here.

And then consider this: "All of the boys and all of the girls are beggin' to If U Seek Amy."

You heard that right. EFF U SEE KAY ME. Clever girl.

My estimation of her just went up. Frazzled, downward-spiraling single mom? Nope. Mouthy MILF-y comeback diva!

MUCH better.

Source

Britney Hates Amy Winehouse and Beyonce

Sassy Smith — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 17:34:00 GMT

Lots of hate going on in the celebrity world lately. Perhaps hate is a bit strong, but Britney didn't have anything nice to say about fellow singers/performers Amy Winehouse or Beyonce.

Spears herself wasn't asked to perform at the Grammy Awards (shocker!), but that didn't stop the poptart from giving her two cents worth about others who did.

Britney apparently didn't care for Beyonce's duet with Tina Turner and said, 'Too bad she can't dance as good as Tina - who's old enough to be her grandmother!'

Then, she had an opinion about the performance from Amy Winehouse, who looked clean (really?) and sober (really?), Spears quipped: 'Look at her! Look how stoned she is! She is so obviously stoned!'

Um, the whole pot and kettle scenerio? Ya.

I'm not entirely sure who actually heard Brit say these things - maybe her Cheetos bag is secretly taping her.

Photo source

Related Posts:

Britney Still Can't See Her Kids

Britney Spears Has Blown Fifty Million Bucks

Britney Thinks Her Boys Are Dolls

Britney's Makeover - Part Two (Even Sexier)

VIDEO: How to Take Advantage of an Unwell Superstar and Get Rich Trying

Whit Honea — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 00:16:00 GMT

Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzi- the married paparazzi, that has been all over Britney Spears like a cheap coat is starting to make me think there really is a hell. There's got to be someplace for scum like this, right?

Breaking News: Britney Misses Deposition

HerBadMother — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 19:15:00 GMT

Oh, damn y'all! I just cain't do it! All y'all are makin' me sick! Or some such was the excuse when Britney just didn't show up at court today to give the deposition required of her in her long-running custody battle with ex-husband kevin Federline. Which, you know, you just don't do.

The story is still unfolding, but K-Fed's lawyer has said that it seems that she has some sort of illness or medical condition that has prevented her, last-minute, from attending.

Britney was expected to be questioned on such issues as her past drug and alcohol use, her struggles to abide by Court Commissioner Scott M. Gordon's orders, her habit of rolling over the feet of bystanders and her fitness or unfitness as a mother to sons Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1.

Someone's in deep shit, y'all.

Source; Source

Merry Britmas!

Whit Honea — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 19:10:00 GMT

The always funny site Pretty On The Outside has done it again. Here is their rendition of Britney's Christmas card. Something tells me it isn't far off.

Britney Reaches Out To Jesus. Jesus Says, Yo, Beyatch, Step Off!

HerBadMother — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 22:05:00 GMT

Just kidding. Of course Jesus wouldn't reject Spears. What was that bit in Gospels? The pantiless shall inherit the earth? Jesus loves all of his flock, even the ones who drive around on amphetamines with their kids in the backseat, looking for their next frappuccino fix. Jesus loves us all.

That said, is it really clear from the picture above that Britney is into Jesus? Sure, she's carrying a book about Jesus, or at least a book with Jesus on the cover, but isn't it possible that she mistook Jesus for Fabio, and that she really thinks that that's just an unusually thick Harlequin romance? OMG y'all some lady at KFC just gave me this book and she like said it was all about this guy who was like all about the love and all and who brings a lotta wine to parties and all and d'y'all think it has pictures? I'm gonna like totally read it y'all!

I know, I know - it is deeply un-Christian to cast aspersions upon another's faith. But I'm agnostic, so I get to be a cynical bitch when I feel like it.

Source

Search Me Baby One More Time: Britney Spears is Yahoo's Top Search Term for 2007

sweatpantsmom — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:30:00 GMT

Apparently Child Services isn't the only one searching for Britney. Yahoo has deemed Britney Spears the top search term for 2007. And I thought it would be "naked porn boobs."

Paris Hilton came in third, edged out of the number two spot by World Wrestling Entertainment which garnered a great deal of interest due to the tragic story of Chris Benoit. The popular Japanese manga cartoon Naruto came in fourth (my two kids were responsible for 99% of those hits) and was more bootylicious than Beyoncé, who came in fifth. And who says repeat DUIs and a stint in rehab are a bad thing - they were enough to put Lindsay Lohan in sixth place, up from her 10th place slot last year.

Two losers this year: Pamela Anderson and Jessica Simpson, two previously popular terms that dropped off the list. Come on girls - run over some paparazzi and get yourself into rehab so you can get your places back in 2008.

Britney Spears Has Gas

Whit Honea — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 19:07:00 GMT

Well, she will in a minute, assuming the paparazzi get out of her face.

So who's the new guy?

Party Crashers: Britney Spears' "Birthday Bash" Is As Fake As Her Hair

sweatpantsmom — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:05:00 GMT

OK! Magazine claims to have the "Exclusive Inside Britney's Birthday Bash." But after reading this article, what it looks like is Brit's friends were too cheap to throw her a party, so they crashed someone else's instead.

OK! reports that Sharon Stone was hosting an event at a Bel Air mansion Saturday night to introduce Scandinavian products to the U.S. market. At around 10pm Spears arrived with her entourage that included Sam Lutfi and Alli Sims and after "hitting the gifting area" proceeded to take over a table on a back patio. At one point the group returned to their car (I say it was to get the cake out of the trunk) and after they returned "the birthday girl was presented with a small, round chocolate cake with 'Happy Birthday Britney' written on it. Her friends at the table and a handful of guests — including OK! reporters — gathered around to sing 'Happy Birthday.'"

Birthday Bash? More like a bunch of cheapskates who crashed someone else's party, loaded up on the sponsor's free loot and then turned it into a party for themselves. I can't believe Sharon Stone didn't go all Basic Instinct with an ice pick on their freeloading asses.

The evidence is in the picture above; the cake was obviously just brought in since it's still in the box. If it was a party for Britney, why wasn't there a cake already there for her?

[photo: People.com]

Britney's Life In Plastic

HerBadMother — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 22:04:00 GMT

Life & Style magazine has made it it's business to track the physical transformation of Britney Spears over the years - who they claim has had more than a little work done - and their little photo-essay on the subject sure is interesting.

I'd say that the boob work looks pretty obvious. Maybe the nose, too. Tummy tuck? If they say so. I mean, it is possible - especially at her age - to lose baby weight pretty quick. That said, she doesn't exactly come across as little Miss Fitness. if she is relying on plastic surgery to get her looks back, that's pretty sad. She's barely into her mid-twenties. Someone needs to tell her she's pretty, and then get her into yoga, before she turns into some sort of freakish, twenty-something Meg Ryan-Melanie Griffiths-Pam Anderson hybrid. Shudder.

Source

George Clooney: Britney's Knight In Shining Armour?

HerBadMother — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 22:03:00 GMT

Of all the people who might have sprung to Britney's defense, George Clooney was kinda the last person I expected to see riding up on a white horse. I mean, that's nice and all for Britney - they don't come much more dashing than Mr. Clooney - but really?

Clooney recently told Entertainment Tonight that he sympathizes with the troubled poptart: "You look at the footage of Britney running the red light – there's eight guys with cameras at night in the middle of the street. There are no rules now," he told Entertainment Tonight on Tuesday. "It's getting to a point where people that are not involved are getting hurt."

Sure, okay - we all know that the paps can get pretty aggressive. But Britney's, like, the ultimate pap-tease: she begs for it. Changing outfits for multiple Starbucks runs, asking the paparazzi to get her frappuccinos for her - she's not exactly trying to avoid them. I know that 'acting like you want it' doesn't excuse anyone who gets aggressive to get it, but it does kinda alter the picture somewhat. When Britney buys her own frappuccino-maker and starts keeping a lower profile, then I'll maybe feel badly about the army of paps camped outside her door. But while she's making them popcorn? Nuh-uh.

George Clooney should save his chivalrous impulses for someone more deserving. Like, you know, me.

Source: People

The YouTube Verdict Is In: Britney Is "Like, So Sucky, C'mon!'

HerBadMother — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 17:23:00 GMT

Perez Hilton has proclaimed this young lady the next YouTube sensation, and I gotta say, she's pretty funny. She's pretty hard on Britney, though, calling her "fat" and "sucky" and passing all variety of harsh judgment on her appearance and talent and capabilities as a mother. Which is rich, coming from what appears to be a chubby, metal-mouthed teenager with a lisp, but still. Funny.

She's kinda got K-Fed pegged, too, as a poor rip-off of Justin Timberlake. Watch and giggle. (Forward to about 4:40 for the Britney smack.)

(Source: Perez Hilton, YouTube)

Billy and Miley Cyrus Invite Britney Spears to Thanksgiving Dinner

Whit Honea — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 20:58:00 GMT

Don't they know they can buy a turkey in the store? I hope they don't deep-fry her. Billy Ray Cyrus asked In Touch magazine to pass a message to Britney Spears. Doesn't it seem it would get there faster if he just left a note at Starbucks?

Here is part of his message: "Honey you are welcome to a Nashville Thanksgiving at our house. We would love to be there for you and we care about you. Miley is a big fan and she wants to reach out, too."

Wow, the ghosts of Disney present extending a hand to the ghost of Disney past.

I wonder how much tickets are to a Hannah Montana Thanksgiving. I'll look on eBay.

Photo: In Touch

"Team Britney" Steals My Pet Name for FameCrawler

Whit Honea — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 23:34:00 GMT

Welcome to Team Britney, bitches. The only thing sadder than the mess Britney Spears has made of her life is a group of people denying that it is happening. Team Britney, aka the board of Taco Bell shareholders, is a collection of Britney fans (judging by the photo I'd say it's a collection of all the Britney fans) that feel the star is being unfairly treated.

They also feel that the Holocaust never happened and that the moon landing was filmed in Burbank.

Membership is open to anyone with a love of Britney and a firm grasp on denial. That ain't a river, y'all.

Please send all dues and donations to FameCralwer, attn: Free $$ Department.

Photo: Britney Groupie

Who Isn't Kate Hudson "Dating?" - A FameCrawler Poll

Whit Honea — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 19:19:00 GMT

I just got done talking about Kate Hudson's latest flame and she's already moved on. She sure does "date" a lot of guys. In the last month she's been connected to Owen Wilson, Dax Shepard, Dane Cook, Orlando Bloom and now Heath Ledger. That's a pretty good run.

Who do you think she'll be "dating" next?

Photo: The Superficial

Leaked Cover: Pieces of Me, er Britney

Whit Honea — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 22:12:00 GMT

In the tradition of leaking all things Britney Spears' Blackout CD I present to you the cover for the single "Pieces of Me" (Below). It contains the only know photo ever taken of Britney trying to cover her stuff. It must be photoshopped.

Photos: Britney Groupie

Britney Spears Looks Like This

Whit Honea — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 18:36:00 GMT

Britney Spears is looking a bit beat. Of course, by beat I mean high. Sure, we all take bad pictures- especially when our weave is askew and we just pulled a monster bong hit. I'm just guessing about one of those factors, but let me go on record as saying I know nothing about weaves.

Photo: BWE

Why Does Perez Hilton Hate Britney? And, Can't He Keep Her Kids Out Of It?

HerBadMother — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 13:33:00 GMT

We get pretty snarky, sometimes, here at Famecrawler; there's really no good reason to do celebrity gossip, I think, unless you're going to give it an edge. Still, we try to not be mean (quibble if you must, but still - we try). And we certainly draw the snark line at the kiddies. No making fun of the kiddies. The kiddies didn't ask for this attention; the kiddies should be left alone.

Perez Hilton, however, does not seem to recognize such a line, especially when it comes to Britney Spears. Which, whatever. It sets my teeth on edge when he calls her Shitney, but that's his prerogative, and it's not like she's working very hard to avoid being mocked. But when he includes the babies in his nastiness? That's just wrong, even if the nasty is really just watered-down stupidity mascarading as edgy commentary..

He's right that Britney needs to take better care of her kids, if and when she ever gets to spend more than seven supervised hours with them, but calling out their dirty faces is just stupid. Babies and toddlers get their faces dirty. My child has a perpetual smear of applesauce across her face, which is only ever replaced by crayon and/or cookie and/or chocolate soy. Crumbs and bits of Play-Doh on her teeth, that sort of thing. She's clean for, oh, about twenty minutes each day.

So, yeah - it may be the case that the mini-Brits need more than a good wash and a scrub with a Barney toothbrush, but at first glance the evidence is dubious. Don't all toddlers look like this, at least some of the time?

And even if they don't, is it really necessary to splash this one's face across your grotty site while calling his mommy dirty names and suggesting that the very look of him screams neglect?

Probably not.

(Photos: Perez Hilton)

Britney Spears is T-I-Double 'guh'-Ross

Whit Honea — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 21:15:00 GMT

Get it? Like Tigger. Tigger who is moments away from making $50 the hard way. Times must be tough in the 100-Acre Wood. The trouble with giving Pooh lap dances is how sticky it gets. You know, because of the honey.

Maybe if she clicks her heels together she'll go back home and put some pants on. What's up with that combination anyway? Did Tigger eat Dorothy? I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Photo: Jezebel

Why Does Britney Spears Need a Costume for Halloween?

Whit Honea — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 21:36:00 GMT

Good question (thanks!) What does a (insert term of endearment here) in a wig wear for a costume?

Duh, she puts a skull on her otherwise normal, for her, clothing. Now that's how you rock Halloween.

Photo: Celebutopia

Is Britney Spears Pregnant?

Whit Honea — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 16:42:00 GMT

This may be the scariest Britney post ever, and just in time for Halloween!

It seems that Britney was taking a type of birth-control called Depo-Provera, a contraceptive which requires an injection of the hormonal drug every three months. Guess who kept messing up her shots? She also quit taking it altogether when she decided it was making her gain weight. However, she did not quit taking chulupas.

This according to Life & Style, who is also claiming that Britney's friends are afraid she may be pregnant. Britney doesn't think it's possible, it's just casual sex, y'all.

Photo: Celebutopia

Britney May Wind Up on the Street, Just not Sesame

Whit Honea — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 22:30:00 GMT

Remember when the scariest thing about PBS was the chance your kid might see an episode of Barney? What if Barney were a bit paler and not as well spoken, y'all? Imagine Britney working the street. I know, it's not a stretch, but don't worry, it's not going to happen.

Some idiot started a rumor that Britney Spears was going to be on Sesame Street. Then a bunch of other idiots ran with the idea and it started to spread. Then another idiot read about it and wrote a post on FameCrawler... wait, that last one is me. Okay, we're all here then.

No, Britney Spears is not going to be, nor was ever invited to be, on Sesame Street. She seems more of the alley type anyway.

This post was brought to you by the letters B and S, and for obvious reasons, the number 420.

Post: Celebutopia

BOYCOTT BRITNEY!!

Whit Honea — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 00:04:00 GMT

Boycott Britney Spears! That's what some of her "friends" are doing. They are urging anyone that cares about Spears to not purchase her new CD until she cleans herself up. It's like an embargo intervention.

The group, which is organized on MySpace (so you know it's legit) consists of a bunch of memories from Britney's past. They say they are tired of the record company taking advantage of Britney and letting her go crazy.

You what I'm tired of? Nosy friends.

What about those of us that don't care about Britney and were planning on not buying her stuff because it sucks? I don't want to get lumped into this tough love crap.

Photo: Celebutopia

Britney Spears: This Halloween Has Scariest Jack-O-Lantern. Ever.

Whit Honea — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 22:06:00 GMT

You know that house in the neighborhood that goes all out for Halloween? It's a lot of fun to look at, but it's borderline creepy and you have to let a few other people take their kids there first, just to make sure it's safe. Well, that house has just been outdone.

You think that pumpkin above (the Lohan) is disturbing, feast your eyes on this beauty:

Scary, right? At least you know this house will be handing out Cheetos. Those are good.

Photo: Britney Groupie