PETA: Britney Is A Mad Cow!

HerBadMother — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 22:15:00 GMT

Okay, so - this? Is just stupid. And a desperate ploy on the part of PETA to exploit the whole Britney-trainwreck-gravy-train thing, if you ask me.

PETA has, apparently, just released a letter stating that her, um, "crazies" might be the direct result of too many burgers and frappuccinos. You know, because lactose intolerance and meat parasites can worsen schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. Which, okay, but? Nobody has actually determined that she is, in fact, schizophrenic or bipolar. And I'm betting that if you took away those frappuccinos, she'd just go crazier.

It's like, you know, the PETA people all sat down one day and asked themselves, how can we make this Britney disaster work for us? And somebody said, we can't rag on her for wearing fur or leather, because she only wears ripped-up polyester and those ugly brown pleather boots. And then someone else asked whether any Muppets were harmed in the making of her hot pink wig, but everyone was all, nah, doubt it. Then someone said, HEY! Whaddabout those frappuccinos? Maybe the dairy in those frappuccinos is making her crazy??? Maybe she has mad cow disease??? Imagine the headlines!!! Somebody call research!

And the rest is history.

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