Madonna's Got A Better Kind Of Birth Control

HerBadMother — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 17:03:00 GMT

Guy Ritchie looks pretty nervous in this picture. Any guesses why?

If you guessed, "Because Madonna just purchased a giant Purple Penetrator and means to use it," you'd be correct.

Anybody who ever doubted that it's Madonna who wears the ~~strap-on~~ pants in that family should now just accept the truth: Guy Ritchie is Madonna's bitch. I'm willing to bet that if she could impregnate him with that thing, she would. But that would get in the way of saving the world through untrammeled adoption, so maybe not. Still, she probably grabs him with those man-hands of hers and makes him call her Daddy. Messed up? Sure. But is it any more messed up than humping Vanilla Ice? I thought not.

(photo credit - JustJared)

It Doesn't Matter How Hot You Are, Kate Beckinsale, Your Kid Will Always Think PDAs Are Gross

HerBadMother — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 19:34:00 GMT

OK, so I think that it's sweet that the Beckinsale/Wisemans go everywhere and do everything together, but it still seems to me that young Lily is teetering on the edge of disaffected goth-ness or, at least, affected adolescent angst in extremis (look that up in your DSM IV). Here, again, at LAX, she's clutching her ever-present reading material protectively, as if to ward off the PDA cooties that her mom and step-dad are shedding like dandruff.

You can almost hear her rolling her and eyes and thinking GAWD mom could you stop that already? Just goes to show - and I hope that all the goths out there will take heart from this - your parents can be all down with the Underworld and all that and still be terminally uncool.

FameCrawler : celebrity PDAs

Madonna's Got A Better Kind Of Birth Control

It Doesn't Matter How Hot You Are, Kate Beckinsale, Your Kid Will Always Think PDAs Are Gross