FameCrawler : celebrity boys

Sean Preston Federline Gets US Weekly Cover

HerBadMother — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:03:00 GMT

Nice. I suppose that we can expect Jayden James' cover to carry the headline Mommy Why Are You Such A Drug-Addled Tart?

Classy, US Weekly. Real classy.

You Go Rod! Leash That Kid!

HerBadMother — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 19:35:00 GMT

I've been pretty hard on Rod Stewart in the past. I've made fun of his age, and of his succession of model/groupie-wives, and of how silly he looks with a Whoozit swinging above his crotch. But I take it all back. Dude is just like you and me - okay, me - in that he is, obviously, so totally his toddler's bitch.

Check the leash. He's got his kid on a leash - which, you know, I totally support - but that's not enough: he has to leash the kid just to carry the kid. Or maybe the leashed kid just decided, to hell with walking if you've leashed me up. Ride 'em, cowboy - this leash works two ways! Which is exactly how it works in my world: I try to strap my kid down or up or across or whatever and she just turns it on me like that. Somehow, before I know it, that leash is around my waist or neck and she's on my hip or shoulders and it's all sherpa THIS, beeyatch. And it's, like, totally inescapable, because she knows that I know that she can leap out of arms and into oncoming traffic in the time that it takes me to register that I've been kicked in the boob-undercarriage, never mind how long it would take me to work out the physics of the sideways-speedball-mid-air toddler jump and react. She knows it, and she knows that I know it, and that I know that she knows it, and the consequence is that there could be twenty leashes binding her to me and I'd still be her bitch.

But now I know that Rod is the bitch of a two-and-a-half foot tall tyrant, too. And I find that strangely comforting.

Rod Stewart's Boy Rocks The Sporren

HerBadMother — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 20:39:00 GMT

Is there anything cuter than a baby in kilt, rocking it out at his daddy's rock concert? I think not, unless you count babies in kilts with bagpipes. That might be cuter.

Plus, kilts and sporren are efficient. The tartan hides spit-up, there's easy access to the diaper, and you can keep the binky in the sporren. Or maybe you just wanna keep your ear-plugs in there. You know, for those Rod Stewart concerts that you're forced to attend now that you're responsible for his spawn.

At least he's not making you wear the concert tee.

(photo from JustJared.com)

Dads Gone Mild: Russell Crowe Edition

Whit Honea — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 11:29:00 GMT

Remember how Russell Crowe was always in the news for being an ass? Well, he was. Granted the guy is a good actor, and though I've never heard any of his stuff, he is supposedly a decent musician, but as far as social graces go, not so much.

Crowe has written a tender tribute to his sons, Charlie and Tennyson, which is to be buried in a time capsule for 25 years. He wrote "Our lives have been blessed by you. Whatever comes along, I will always love you with my whole being and soul. I know I will have brought you up to love your mother above all. My hope is that you find the things, people and love that bring you joy. Every day of my life is better because I am a father."

Now, I don't mean to be a killjoy, but doesn't the fact that the contents of the time capsule are posted all over the internet, lessen it somewhat? I thought the magic of such things was in the surprise, not in the digging. Save your backs boys, just read FameCrawler.