FameCrawler : celebrity familiy

More Trumps With Good Hair

HerBadMother — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 15:33:00 GMT

First the infant granddaughter with a shiny, thick mass of rich brown hair; now, the toddler son with glistening golden curls. No wonder the Donald keeps his 'do coloured and combed-over: you'd have a complex too if you were follically challenged and surrounded by smaller, poorer people with better hair.

Where are these kids getting their hair genes? It's gotta be matrilineal.

Sean Preston Federline Gets US Weekly Cover

HerBadMother — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:03:00 GMT

Nice. I suppose that we can expect Jayden James' cover to carry the headline Mommy Why Are You Such A Drug-Addled Tart?

Classy, US Weekly. Real classy.

Madonna's Got A Better Kind Of Birth Control

HerBadMother — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 17:03:00 GMT

Guy Ritchie looks pretty nervous in this picture. Any guesses why?

If you guessed, "Because Madonna just purchased a giant Purple Penetrator and means to use it," you'd be correct.

Anybody who ever doubted that it's Madonna who wears the ~~strap-on~~ pants in that family should now just accept the truth: Guy Ritchie is Madonna's bitch. I'm willing to bet that if she could impregnate him with that thing, she would. But that would get in the way of saving the world through untrammeled adoption, so maybe not. Still, she probably grabs him with those man-hands of hers and makes him call her Daddy. Messed up? Sure. But is it any more messed up than humping Vanilla Ice? I thought not.

(photo credit - JustJared)

Alice Kim and Superboy: Nicolas Cage and Family Vacation in Italy

Whit Honea — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 20:57:00 GMT

Kal-el, I've got no problem with your name, pal. I think it's pretty cool. I'm guessing that you have other issues right now, as evident by your expression and that of your mommy, Alice Kim.

Where's Daddy when you need him, out pricing coliseums?