FameCrawler : celebrity meltdowns

Britney Spears’ Visitation Rights Suspended Indefinitely

sweatpantsmom — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 01:31:00 GMT

At the court hearing that Britney never made it to, Commissioner Scott Gordon ruled that Spears will not have visitation rights restored, at least not until the next hearing on February 19.

Among the witnesses who reportedly testified today were two LAPD officers, court monitors Pamela Strong and Lisa Hacker and Spears' former bodyguard Lonnie Jones. There are differing accounts on whether Kevin Federline or his attorney testified.

[photo: USmagazine.com]

Jayden James and Sean Preston Drive to Custody Hearing

sweatpantsmom — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 00:18:00 GMT

Fed up with being left out of the custody proceedings, Britney Spears' sons Jayden James and Sean Preston were photographed today headed for the courthouse on their own. Judging by Britney's antics today, they should arrive a good twenty-four-hours ahead of her.

They were last seen pulling up to the local 7-Eleven to gas up their rides on Kool-Aid and licorice.

[photo: PageSix.com]

Now, Britney Spears Is Outta Da House

sweatpantsmom — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 22:15:00 GMT

She's gone! She's gone! Now TMZ is reporting that Britney has left the courthouse and is on the freeway headed home. We'll let you know what those crazies at TMZ find out after they follow her to her house and force their way inside. Not that we encourage that type of behavior.

Hey, did you even notice that this is a picture of Paris Hilton and not Britney? Didn't think so.

[photo: People.com]

Britney Spears is In Da House

sweatpantsmom — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 21:47:00 GMT

She's here! She's here! TMZ is reporting that Britney has finally arrived and entered the courthouse after driving around the block for an eternity in her black Escalade. We'll keep you posted on the proceedings inside.

Yes, I know that's a picture of Lindsay Lohan, but after doing so many stories on Britney we've run out of photos of her to use, and besides - these bad girls are all kind of interchangeable. After I run out of pictures of Lindsay I'll start posting ones of Paris Hilton. You'll see - you won't even know the difference.

[photo: People.com]

Britney Spears' Former Assistance Leaks Photos & More

Sassy Smith — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 12:10:00 GMT

Britney Spears' former assistant, leaked some photos of her and is also saying, "She needs mental help!" Gee, ya think?

Kalie Machado, who briefly worked for Spears' as her assistant has recently told Us Weekly that after Britney and Kevin's breakup, Britney desperately tried to win him back.

“She wanted so badly to have the father of her babies. When Britney thought about Kevin not wanting her, she would bawl,” Machado says. “She would look at Sean and Jayden and say, ‘Where’s your daddy? I need help. Where’s your daddy?’” Does that really sound like ~~crazy~~ Britney? ~~Of course silly~~.

Apparently Britney was obsessed with getting Kevin back. Brit reportedly kept framed photographs of she and K-Fed all over the house: “She would ask, ‘Why did he do this to me? It just made her crazy and depressed.” Yes and BritBrit's behavior is making us all crazy.

Photo Source: Gabby Babble

Britney Decides To Become A Lesbian. No Word Yet On A Decision To Become Sane.

HerBadMother — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 19:03:00 GMT

It's been a rough couple of weeks for Britney. Public humiliation. Private humilliation. Getting fired by her lawyer. And her manager. Losing the kids.

But just when you thought that it couldn't possibly get any worse, Britney has, according to 'reliable sources,' announced that she's going to make a change in her life that will turn things around: she's only going to date women from now on.

She knows that Madonna's married, I hope. That could get embarassing, if Britney starts sending flowers and shit in the hopes of rekindling those sparks from few years back. Then again, you never know. Guy doesn't exactly seem to be man enough for Madge these days. Britney could maybe give him a run for his money, especially if she loses the weave and keeps going commando.

Not sure how well this will serve her efforts to get her kids back, though.

Don't Do It, Britney: It's A Trap

HerBadMother — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 17:34:00 GMT

Defamer is reporting that the producers of Extra have offered Britney Spears an opportunity to redeem herself for her execrable VMA performance with a "do-over" of that performance at their studios. "Britney, come perform 'Gimme More' and show the world what you've got," said the producers in their press release. "Our stage is yours....the deal is on the table."

Britney, if you're reading this: DON'T DO IT.

Defamer argues that the offer is a trap, and I gotta say - they're probably right. Odds are that those noble Extra producers are right this very minute trying to figure out just how much vodka will bring about the perfect stagger - just enough to stumble around; not enough to collapse - and are stocking her dressing room accordingly. They don't have Britney: Grown-Up, Sober and Unplugged in mind - they're thinking Oops, She Did It Again. They've seen the VMA ratings and the YouTube numbers, and they're thinking, how do we get a piece of that? And if it means throwing poor, beleaguered Britney under the bus, so what? She's already been there! What's a few more treadmarks?

There's a slim possibility that the producers of Extra are acting out of the kindness of their ~~dead black~~ hearts, but I doubt it. In any case, I just don't want to see that shit again. It's effecting my self-esteem. So please, Brit-Brit, for the sake of your dignity, your children and the legions of mothers who see something of themselves in your muffin top and your dimply thighs, just say no.

Or at least put some pants on.

(photo credit - EW.com)

Things That Britney Spears Might Want To Burn: All Copies of the August 8 Edition of US Weekly

sweatpantsmom — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 11:35:00 GMT

Imagine Britney Spears' kids in twenty years. While mom and ninth husband Nick Nolte are away at a 12-step meeting, sons Sean and Jayden are hanging out in the basement, trying to get papa K-Fed's bong to work, when one of them finds an old copy of US Weekly from June 8, 2007 that's hidden behind all the porn on the bookshelf.

On the cover? An interview with a 21-year old who details a wild night with their mom, one in which she lures the college student into the pool of an L.A. hotel at 2am, strips naked and then has the wannabe-actor take off his clothes and parade around pretending to be Tyra Banks while she hoots like a drunk monkey.

And you thought it was bad when you accidentally came across your mom's thong.