FameCrawler : celebrity snark

Ferris Bueller's Little Superman

HerBadMother — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 17:04:00 GMT

This is, like, waaay past the Halloween-interest-post expiry date, but still: who doesn't want to share the superlative cuteness of the offspring of Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker?

Whatever folks might say about SJP's sex appeal or ~~Ferris's~~ Matthew's (sorry; he's eternally Ferris to me) new movie, there's no arguing with their ability to produce gorgeous children.

Who's the chick with the tatts and the ripped jeans, though? The nanny? What's she dressed up as? Mary Poppins Gone Grunge?

Ferris Bueller Loves Jessica Rabbit

HerBadMother — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 21:03:00 GMT

And not just for her body, though I'm sure that helps.

Matthew Broderick - who plays an animated bee in Jerry Seinfeld's upcoming Bee Movie - told Redbook.com recently that the cartoon character he would most compare his wife to would be Jessica Rabbit. Maxim Magazine would probably say Olive Oyl, but we hate Maxim now because they're misogynistic haters, so never mind what they would say. ~~Ferris~~ Matthew has a point: they don't come much more spectacularly built that Sarah Jessica Parker. Shame that he only gets to be a bee, though. That cartoon sex would be kinda tricky between a rabbit and a bee. And the offsrping would be kinda weird. Good thing they had kid pre-animation.

Maxim Unveils "Unsexiest Women" List: Sarah Jessica Parker Leads Madonna And Britney In Fug

HerBadMother — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 17:33:00 GMT

Maxim Magazine has just named Sarah Jessica Parker as the Unsexiest Woman Alive, and they weren't exactly, um, nice about it:

"How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with 'sex' in the title?" they said. "Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we´d rather ride Chris Noth."

Ouch, ouch, ouch. That's mean. Though, truth be told, I've never understood why people think she's hot. I don't think she's fug - "Barbaro-faced" is way harsh - but I certainly don't see oodles of sex appeal there. Ferris Bueller could have done better, I think. What ever happened to Sloane? She was hot.

Moms, sadly, were over-represented on Maxim's top five Unsexiest Women list: Madonna clocked in at number four ("with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull") and Britney rounded out the top five in fifth place ("less than five years ago, Britney had a python wrapped around her well-toned torso onstage at the VMAs. Since then, she´s lost the ability to perform, but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of Funyun pudge.") Amy Winehouse (they've got a point here; she needs detox and a good scrub-down) and Sandra Oh (I protest!) came in at numbers two and three.

Too mean, I think, even for me. What do you think?