FameCrawler : fashion don'ts

Worst-Dressed Bellies? Top 5 Maternity Wear Mistakes Of Spring/Summer 2008

HerBadMother — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 20:26:00 GMT

Look, I know how difficult it is to get one's self dressed in anything other than yoga pants when pregnant. But still - just because it's difficult doesn't mean that it's impossible. And if you're a celebrity with a team of stylists and a fashion budget that dwarfs what most people spend on their houses? Well, there's just no excuse.

Disagree with me if you like, but here are my picks for worst-dressed bellies of the last few months:

1. Minnie Driver's Peekaboo Polka Dots:

It's a pretty dress, for sure, and I love the polka dots. But it's see-through. And? I think that maybe, maybe, she is not wearing any underwear. One word: chafing. You pregnant and formerly pregnant ladies know what I'm talking about. I don't care how pretty your dress is: chafing makes you walk funny, and that's not so hot.

2. Gwen Stefani's Sari/Caftan/Bathrobe Thingy:

I'm gonna get disagreement on this one, I know, but still - the Eastern-influenced pajamas slash bedsheet look just doesn't work, in my opinion, on women with massive child-swollen bellies (or anyone, really, but that's another post). This looks like something that Mrs. Roper would wear. Gwen Stefani is a style icon, yes, I know. But just because Gwen Stefani's wearing it doesn't make it attractive.

3. Ashlee Simpson's Goth Preggo Look:

Ugh. I mean, not only is it sloppy-looking, it looks uncomfortable. Is she not sweltering? Does she not get her legs caught in the skirt? And don't get me started on the vomit-colored granny hat. FUG.

4. Jamie Lynn Spears' Sweats and Shorts:

This is basically what I wore throughout my pregnancy, if you substitute the shorts for yoga pants and take the self-esteem-subversive message off of the shirt. It's comfortable, for sure. But that doesn't mean that it's a good look. It's not. But I could forgive it - if only on the basis of its familiarity - were it not for the stupid, self-mocking slogan on the back. Is she being ironic? Does she knew what irony means? The whole thing confuses me.

5. Angelina's Scorpion Tent Dress

This dress just scares me. I mean, that whole tent look, for starters, is just a bit weird looking, especially on a woman with such slender legs, but more than that, it's the print. What are those things? Sinister insect creatures emerging from (or attacking?) some vagina-like plant thingy? Disturbing. Seriously.

Agree? Disagree? Other nominations?

Someone Send PETA - And The Style Police - After Heidi Klum

HerBadMother — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 02:41:00 GMT

How many Muppets were killed in the making of that coat? For seriously?

Also, who told Heidi Klum that hair-crimping is back in style? Or is it back in style, along with those skin-tight black pleather leggings that were all the rage in glam-goth circles in the late eighties? Has The Factory re-opened? Is Andy Warhol alive again? Or is this some new MILF look that noone has told me about?

Am so confused.

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Patrick Dempsey: My Heart is Racing For You

Karen — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 20:02:00 GMT

My boyfriend Patrick Dempsey was spotted in his uniform at the Fresh From Florida 200 Koni Challange Series at Daytona International Speedway on Friday in Daytona Beach, Florida.

No word yet on when he is picking me up for our ~~next~~ first date. You just come over baby, I don't care what you wear.

Colin Farrell: Yummy Daddy, Almost

HerBadMother — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 01:00:00 GMT

Colin Farrell knows how to rock the hot-scuzzy look like nobody's bizniss. That said, what's up with the hippie scarf?

That thing just throws the whole 'I'm a bad-ass' look way off, in much the same way that Brad Pitt's lame newsboy cap does for Brad. Lose the accessories, boys. Really. A kid or two under your arms and some five o'clock shadow are all that you need.

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Patrick Dempsey Models A Dad-Fashion DON'T

HerBadMother — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 21:05:00 GMT

I make no secret of my appreciation of Patrick Dempsey's man-beauty. I consider him one of the finer specimens of manly man-flesh that Hollywood has to offer. That said, I have to admit that even he cannot carry off the (high-waisted, too tapered, too faded, too wrong) mom-jean. Especially not borderline acid-wash mom jeans. With shiny loafers.

Patrick, love: high-waisted acid-fade looks good on nobody, dude, not even you. Didn't Versace give you some freebies from that modellling job? WEAR THEM.

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