FameCrawler : freak

Gene Simmons Responds To Sex Tape, Le Petit Gene Sues For Damages

Karen — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:21:00 GMT

If you haven't seen the Gene Simmons sex tape, please ensure your stomach is empty and your eyes are closed. I mean really.

Even the model he was collapsing upon turned her head when his giant freak head was coming at her to smooch. Gaggerific. How do I know this? Oh I watched it. Through my fingers and squinty eyes, I swallowed my gag reflex several times in order to serve you, the people. You're welcome.

Anyway, ol' Gene has issued a statement on his website:

"Hi everyone. You may have heard or seen garbage that has sprung up from my past. Rest assured the proper legal team is looking at all ramifications and options.

"And us? Shannon, Nick and Soph are happy and healthy. All is well.

"And thank you all for the kind words of support."

Your past Gene? As in a few months ago? If this chick was much further back in the timeline, I'm pretty sure you'd be the one looking straight into the barrel of a legal team.

Kind words? Uh, Gene? You haven't been reading blogs, obviously. We're all sufficiently grossed out. Even my best friends who had a Foreigner song play at their wedding are going to get divorced and re-married just so they can lose the now tainted memory of their first dance. The only "support" I can offer is for you to buy your sad ass a Bowflex and maybe try this funny food called salad, because you are not going to burn more than 3 calories having sex like that. Dead people burn more calories. The sad thing is, you can't lose weight from that fat head of yours.

Dude. Be like Better Midler. She's best seen "From a Distance." Oh and there's that whole thing about her never having a camera on her while she's being a slave to a wang. I'm pretty sure your poor grissle missle is embarrassed for you.

What Do Britney Spears & "Dr. Alex Karev" From Grey's Anatomy Have In Common?

Sassy Smith — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 22:01:00 GMT

Grey's Anatomy "Dr. Alex Karev" - played by actor Justin Chambers has something in common with Britney Spears. Wanna take a stab at what it is? Let me tell you....

Both are at UCLA in the psych ward. No kidding. Chambers, a married dad with five children, voluntarily checked himself in. His rep said of the actor: "he's exhausted and suffers from a sleeping disorder. He went in voluntarily to get some help."

The 37-year-old is married to Keisha Chambers and their kids are: Isabella, 11, twins Maya and Kaila, 9, Eva, 6, and Jackson, 5. Sheesh, no wonder the man can't sleep - he's got a football team of kids! Hopefully he gets some well needed rest and hey, if he gets hungry, maybe Sam Lutfi will bring him some In-N-Out.

Dude, becareful, Britney might be in the next room. Is that mean? Whatever.

Oh and just a little FYI, Justin is on the Victoria's Secret 'What is Sexy' list, which, sure I suppose he is sexy. Although, *ahem*, I had no idea who the guy was. Apparently I'm one of two people who do not watch Grey's Anatomy.

Photo source, source

Pamela Anderson's Plans For 2008

Sassy Smith — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 19:05:00 GMT

I'm guessing more trashiness but that's just a hunch. Pamela Anderson classed it up on New Year's Eve by NOT being with her husband AND dry humping with some random dude.

Pammie tells People her "plans" for the new year and talks about her "problems."

"Oh there's plenty of problems. What can you do? We're all human. We're all trying."

About her plans for 2008:

"More of the same. More excitement, more fun." More having sex with guys to pay of gambling debts? More marrying a guy in a cheesy Vegas wedding? More divorces? Yup, that DOES sound exciting.

Anderson updated her website, saying:

"I know 2008 will bring all your wildest dreams. 2007 was an interesting year for me. What's the definition of insanity? This is the year I do everything I wanted to do - my way. I have so many great projects - for the environment, for animals. I'm going to be proud of every single day - and make sure I do not veer from the path. Stay focused."

Excuse me while I fall off my chair and DIE. From LAUGHING SO HARD.

Photo source

Michael Jackson Lost His Face, I Mean His Car

Sassy Smith — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 17:34:00 GMT

Fine, he didn't lose his face but it was hidden though, as usual.

VIDEO AFTER THE READ

MJ made a surprise visit to a trendy Melrose shop, Moist Men (not saying a word about this, zippin' my lip) and then dude couldn't find his car! Perhaps if you didn't cover your face, you could see and then you could find your car. Just a little FYI Michael. Who's Bad? It was so cute, he had ~~three~~ tons of fans wanting autographs and they were gushing, "we love you Michael." Ya, we ~~are convinced you are a freak~~ love you.

Photo source: innerimperativenews

Heather Mills' Publicist Quits After Her TV Tirade

Sassy Smith — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 16:01:00 GMT

Heather Mills' publicist quit yesterday after her morning tv tirade. Shocking!

The interview, on U.K. breakfast show, GMTV on Wednesday, saw Mills' accusing journalist of waging a ‘hate campaign’ against her following the breakdown of her four-year marriage to Sir Paul.

Heather’s publicist Phil Hall resigned after he advised her not to go on live TV:

“My view is that you need good relations with the media to turn the negative into the positive and I advise always to ignore the stuff thrown at you. “I no longer represent her. I advised her against the interviews but she was adamant. Sometimes she can’t help herself.”

This woman is talking out of both sides of her mouth. In one breath, she wants to be left alone, yet she continues to act like a nutjob while doing interviews. Besides that, she, on one hand talked about how she wants to "protect Paul" (when she was talking about considering suicide), yet then she implies that Sir Paul has some horrible skeletons in his closet. Heather Mills' is a whole lotta crazy.

Photo Source: News.com

Britney Spears and Criss Angel to Open VMAs: Why Does Everything Bad Happen to Me?

Whit Honea — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 19:03:00 GMT

Mindfreak/overall freak, Criss Angel, is denying that he is Brit's new man, which is the smartest thing he's ever done. Would he be an improvement over Ex-Fed, the manny, the kid in the pool (fratboy), or the other kid in the pool (lady assistant)? The wizard (warlock?) says that he and Spears are just friends, you know, like Chandler and Monica, but with much less taste.

Apparently Angel is helping Britney get ready for her "secret" opening of the MTV Video Music Awards. I can only imagine the smoke and mirrors that he will have to employ to make her look sane. Now that would be magic. I wonder if he has a brain hiding up his sleeve.

As you may have guessed, I'm not excited about this. I am something of a realist, and my firm belief is that Britney will wind up doing something to make her situation even more bizarre, which means I'll have to talk about her even more. I don't want to talk about Britney Spears anymore. Her antics make me dizzy and slightly nauseous.

Besides, Criss Angel is freaky. Self-proclaimed even.

Source: The Superficial/MSNBC