FameCrawler : halle berry's breasts

Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive Is A Mom

HerBadMother — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 11:46:00 GMT

And a damn sexy mom she is, too. Congrats, Halle.

(OK, Halle. You can ditch the Spanx now. Let the gut out. It's okay. BIG EXHALE.)

(No? A girl's gotta do sit-ups? DAMN.)

DAMN.

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Halle Berry's Nearly Bare

HerBadMother — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 14:23:00 GMT

Now, that is one confident preggo. It takes a lot of moxie to try to pull off a black sheer top when your boobs have swollen to the size of watermelons, and your belly to the size of a beach-ball. That there's some stretch in that shirt.

I gotta say, though: she pulls it off. Sure, it's an edgy look - especially with that hair - but it works for her. She looks - as our Ms. Tyra Banks would say - fierce.

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Halle Berry Wants "To Stay Pregnant Forever"

HerBadMother — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 21:03:00 GMT

Halle Berry is saying that she loves pregnancy so much that she wants to stay pregnant forever. Which is, to my mind, incontrovertible evidence that her brain has, indeed, been entirely hijacked by hormones.

"Right now I just have so much joy and energy that I feel like I've already done 12 things today," she says. "I can just go and go and go."

Just you wait, sweetie. It doesn't last. You've got - what? - two-plus months to go? Ha. You're on the tail end of the honeymoon period of pregnancy. Give it another month or so - you will hit the wall at some point and become so sick of being huge and ungainly and so tired of the non-stop heartburn and back pain and swollen feet and hot flashes that you will beg - BEG - the gods and your doctor to just get that person out of you.

Trust me on this one.

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Halle Berry's Baby Daddy: NOT HOT

HerBadMother — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 21:03:00 GMT

Did Halle Berry really sleep with this guy? Dude is waaaay too metrosexual to be sleeping with someone with such great boobs. His hair is frosted and he has obviously manicured nails. Plus, no man should ever, ever wear mock turtlenecks, especially not in white and especially not when the neck is going to draw attention to an artfully neglected patch of neck stubble. I'll bet any money that dude waxes his nether regions.

If Gabriel Aubry just let go of the manic attention to grooming and the pleated pants, he could be quite hot. He bears a slight resemblance to Josh Holloway (Sawyer from Lost), who in my opinion is one of the hottest men alive, not least because he rocks the dirty-messy bad boy look like nobody's bizniss. Rrwarr. Rough-and-tumble is hot, waxed and polished is not. Unless you're baring your waxed-but-tattooed tushy at every opportunity. That can be kinda hot. Just ask David Beckham.

Where was I? Right. Gabriel Aubry. Lose the frosted tips, dude.

Halle Berry's Got a Gorgeous, Perfectly Formed Pair of...

sweatpantsmom — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 20:30:00 GMT

Eyebrows. Someone's actually stopped looking at Halle Berry's boobs long enough to give her an award for those two strips of hair above her eyes. Dennis Hensley over at MSNBC is presenting the first-ever Hollywood Eyebrow Awards, The Pluckys, and the 'Brow of the Moment' award goes to Berry. Sure she's won an Oscar and a Golden Globe or two, but I say nothing comes close to getting recognized for facial hair.

If you want to take a break from stealing candy from your kid's Halloween stash tonight, check out some other Plucky winners and the commentary by the lone judge, L.A. makeup artist Brett Freedman:

The Boardroom Brow category: And the Plucky goes to...Oprah Winfrey. “Oprah’s hairdos change like the weather but her brows consistently deliver. Plus, I’m afraid of what would happen to me if Oprah doesn’t win something.”

The Cry For Help category: And the Plucky goes to...Lili Taylor. "Lili, let’s have lunch and we’ll have a good ol’ fashioned ‘Come to Jesus’ chat about your arches."

The Against All Odds category: And the Plucky goes to...Lindsay Lohan. "Lindsay changes her hair color more than she changes rehab facilities and yet her brows always manage to keep up color-wise, even when she’s exhausted, de-hydrated or just plain high."

I'm heading for my bathroom mirror and my tweezers as we speak. Pluckys 2008, here I come.

Check Out Halle Berry's Boobs

HerBadMother — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:03:00 GMT

Seriously. Does this woman have a rack or what?

She had pretty nice tits to begin with, but pregnancy has kicked those puppies up a notch or ten. Too bad they're temporary - there really aren't enough naturally spectacular boobs in the world. Temporary or not, though, they're a wonder to behold. And I'm guessing that plastic surgery will restore them to something approaching their natural glory in no time at all.

(Photo credit: JustJared)