Heidi And Seal Need To Get A Room. And Also, Stop Saying 'Banana Hammock'

HerBadMother — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 20:33:00 GMT

You know what? As much as I love oogling and mocking men in tight thongs, there is a limit to how much thong-news that I can take in one week. Also, I don't really need to hear any more about how Heidi Klum just luuuurves her husband's twig and berries - or should I say, log and giant mushrooms?

Fresh from revealing to Oprah that it was, erm, love at first bulge for Heidi and Seal, the horny pair went on Access Hollywood to talk about how good Seal looks in a thong and how fun it would be to get up right then and there and head to Heidi's trailer for some good ol' fashioned baby-makin' (Let's go! - Right now? - In my trailer!)

Sample dialogue:

Heidi: I love you soooo much!

Seal: What drives you crazy about me?

Heidi: What drives me crazy about you? Everything . . . I want to be driven crazy 24/7. Day and night.

Seal: Are you sure it’s not my white thongs that I bought the other day, my banana hammock?

Heidi: Banana hammock! (Seal laughs) You look good in a white banana hammock.

Seal: There you go.

(See the rest of the interview on video here.)

Could we impose a moratorium on the phrase banana-hammock, please? It's ruining fruit for me.

File This Under TMI: Heidi Reveals That It Was Love At First Bulge With Seal

HerBadMother — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 14:03:00 GMT

Ooooookay. This, I didn't need to know: what first drew Heidi Klum to husband Seal was not his eyes or his voice or his sparkling personality - it was the spectacular bulge in his crotch, set on perfect display in a skintight pair of lycra bicycle shorts.

"I met him in a hotel lobby in New York City and he came in just from the gym and I was sitting there and I was, like, wow," Klum tells Oprah Winfrey on her show's Superstar Couples episode, which airs today. Wow, because Seal came in from the gym wearing the aforementioned lycra bicycle shorts. "And I pretty much saw everything," says Klum. "The whole package."

So Heidi likes 'em big, and Seal meets her preferences. Good to know, although now I'll never be able to look at picture of Seal without my eyes straying to his crotch. It's the kids that I'm worried about, though. It's now a matter of public record that Mommy likes 'em big and that Daddy has 'em big. That's gonna make for some unpleasant schoolyard moments someday.

(Photo by: George Burns / Harpo Productions INC)

FameCrawler : heidi's risque story

Heidi And Seal Need To Get A Room. And Also, Stop Saying 'Banana Hammock'

File This Under TMI: Heidi Reveals That It Was Love At First Bulge With Seal