Who Took A Paternity Test?

HerBadMother — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:39:00 GMT

Somebody refuses to believe that they're the daddy until the DNA says so...

Michael Lohan has taken a DNA test to confirm whether or not he fathered a lovechild with Kristi Kaufmann, a woman with whom he had an affair while married to Dina Lohan. The results will come in in a couple of weeks and will confirm whether or not he is the father of a 13-year-old girl named Ashley.

For Ashley's sake, I sincerely hope not. How much do you want to bet that Michael already has his people working on a reality show pitch for Living Lohan Illegitimately?

Source

Posh And Becks Get Married

HerBadMother — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 14:01:00 GMT

Here's how I'm reading the story that Posh and Becks took wedding vows in a secret ceremony in England yesterday: they were never really married in the first place, and the secret ceremony was a hasty effort to legitimize the long-standing fiction of their coupledom. Because, I mean, c'mon: secret ceremony? Do these two ever do anything that isn't publicized to the nines?

They're saying that it was a renewal of vows, of course. The UK's Mirror reports that:

David and Victoria Beckham have secretly retaken their marriage vows - and got matching tattoos to celebrate the romantic occasion.

Only a handful of friends and family were invited to watch them remarry in the grounds of Beckingham Palace. One said: "We were in tears. It was beautiful and very non-showbiz." The couple marked the big day by tattooing the ceremony date on their wrists in Roman numerals.

See? "NON-SHOWBIZ." These two won't renew their drivers' licenses without showbizzing it up. Sounds suspicious to me. Like maybe they want their fourth child to be born legitimately? Or perhaps they're exploring some new tax shelter scheme that requires more proof of marriage than a few paparazzo shots and some widely publicized quotes about their sex life?

Or maybe they did just renew their vows. In which case: YAWN.

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FameCrawler : illegitimate children

Who Took A Paternity Test?

Posh And Becks Get Married

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Who's Beckham Humping Now?

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