Celebrity Baby Names - Thumbs Up Or Down?

HerBadMother — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 15:20:00 GMT

So apparently there's this guy, Bruce Lansky, who calls himself the 'Baby Name Guru' and devotes his time to passing judgment on the names that people pick for their children. Which I suppose is useful in some abstract, hyperfunctioning kind of way, but really - who the hell cares what some guy named Bruce thinks about baby names?

Well, if you do care, here's what he thinks about the names that certain celebrities have given their children recently:

On Jessica Alba's daughter, Honor Marie -

I'm trying to imagine what I'd say if Jessica and Cash told me the newest member of their family was a beautiful baby girl named Honor. I hope I would make a safe response like "Oh, that's a nice name" rather than blurt out "Really?" Needless to say, you can tell a lot about a name by how friends and family respond to the birth announcement.

Like all the virtue names for girls (such as Faith, Hope, and Charity), Honor is a quality we need in the White House. But is it a good name? Neither Honor nor the more popular Honora have ever been ranked in the Top 1000 girls' names. And for good reason. The only Honor I can recall is Honor Blackman, a British actress who played Pussy Galore in "Goldfinger." Like all Bond girls, she wore a skimpy bathing suit, had a stupid name, and lost her "honor" to Bond fairly quickly.

Virtue names for girls represent parents' fond wishes that their daughters exemplify that particular virtue. As noble as this sentiment may be, most people would probably agree that some virtues don't work well as names. Faith, Hope, and Charity are common names, but would you name your child Truth, Justice, Honesty, or Humility? (If you're considering any of these names, I hope you'll come back to your senses-immediately.)

Like Honesty and Humility, Honor is a stiff and awkward name. Can you imagine calling an adorable little baby girl Honor? I'm guessing Jessica, Cash, and Honor's playmates will be calling Honor by her middle name, Marie, before too long.

My verdict: Thumbs down!

On Tori Spelling's daughter Stella Doreen -

Actress Tori Spelling and husband Dean McDermott have named their brand-new baby daughter Stella Doreen McDermott. You may recall Stella was the name in Tennessee Williams's A Streetcar Named Desire that was called out by Stanley Kowalski, a character most memorably portrayed in the 1951 film by Marlon Brando, whose performance turned him into one of America's finest (and most famous) actors.

Knowing that Stanley and Stella lived in a low-rent district of New Orleans and that Stanley often lounged around the house in a T-shirt, theater and movie buffs may question why Stella is a popular name for girls roughly sixty years after the play and film premiered. Good question.

With Latin and French origins, Stella means "star." It's a variation of Estelle, a name that was last ranked among the top 1,000 girls' names in the '60s. Stella was ranked #244 in 2007-up from #656 in the year 2000. That's a big move up for a name that most people hadn't heard before Brando yelled it in what movie reviewers called "a primal scream."

Though it may surprise some people, Stella makes a very positive first impression: "People say Stella is more than just a pretty face; she has a pretty personality, too." (I quote from my latest book, 5-Star Baby Name Advisor). It's conceivable that designer Stella McCartney may have played a role in sprucing up this name's image.

In addition to making a positive first impression, the name is easy to spell and hard to mispronounce. And here's another prediction: Tori and Dean can count on the fact that most people will call their daughter Stella --- there aren't any common nicknames or variations of the name. Add up all these positive factors and you'll understand why Stella is a 4-star name.

My verdict: Thumbs up!

Okay, seriously? Is this guy on crack? Honor is a beautiful, beautiful name for a little girl. Stiff and awkward? Really? I just disagree, totally. It's lovely, and she's a lucky little girl to have parents thoughtful enough to bestow such a lovely name upon her.

And Stella? It's a pretty enough name, but I don't know that pointing out that Brando went all primal scream with it helps its appeal. And since when does 'easy to spell' make a name more compelling? By that measure we should all just name our kids Jack and Jill and be done with it.

Whatever. If a celebrity calls their kid Pilot Inspektor or Fifi Trixibelle, I can understand parsing the merits of such unusual names. But dissecting and judging (thumbs up or down? really? isn't that just a bit too last millenium?) names like Honor and Stella? That's reaching.

But I guess careers as Hollywood gurus are hard to come by these days. You make do with what you can.

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